feeling depressed since diagnosis

[pattyo]

Hi, I just need someone to talk to. Since my diagnosis of complex sleep apnea, I have been feeling very depressed. I have depression problems anyway and this whole diagnosis and trying to adapt to the bipap has really got me down. Has anyone else gone through this. I started therapy this month and so far have only worn the mask for 4 hours. I pulled it off in my sleep last night, and tonight I feel like I'm suffocating again. I don't know what to do? Just need some support.

[jdm2857]

Hang in there! It often takes a while to adjust to xPAP and to find the right mask and settings for oneself.

Know that sleep apnea may be responsible for all or part of your depression, so treatment may help on that front, too.

[pattyo]

Thanks for the encouragement! How long does it take to adjust to the bipap, I am just so anxious about going to bed at night that I just can't sleep. I have ambien, but It seems to mess with my moods. Do you think I should keep taking ambien?

[BonnieG]

I agree, give yourself time to adjust. Maybe try using your machine during the day, for an hour or so, to get used to the idea. I was the same way. I suggest you read through this forum & get a feel of what is to be expected during your new way of life. There are a lot of friendly & helpful forum users. By the way, welcome!

[jdm2857]

Ambien knocks me out in two seconds flat. Next thing I know it's morning.

I can't tell you what to do, but it should be helpful.

I'm still adjusting to (and adjusting my) CPAP.

[pattyo]

Thanks for the welcome! I am so grateful for this site, it has helped me so much already,even if it's just someone saying "don't give up".

[jdm2857]

Someone here will say it as many times as you need to hear it.

Don't give up.

[kteague]

Hi and welcome. If you've been reading on the board you've already found that you are not alone in struggling to adjust to this therapy. I was one who was a late bloomer in getting the hang of it - kept taking my mask off in my sleep, only sleeping bits at a time. Even gave up after about 5 months. That's when I found this site and finally had hope that I COULD succeed at this - and I have. It can be discouraging when things don't fall into place easily. I can only encourage you that going thru whatever it takes to get this right is worth it.

I'm reminded of when I got a crown on a tooth, and for a while I kept running my tongue over it, ever aware of its unfamiliarity in mouth. Without noticing when it happened, at some point the sensation of that foreign thing in my mouth became my new norm, and I ceased to be hyperaware of it.

Early in my cpap treatment, if I awakened in the least I had to snatch the mask off. No way I could just lay there awake with it on, as I could feel panic rising. It's been well over 2 years that I can wake up and lie in bed just thinking until I fall back asleep. Don't even think about the mask. In fact, it has become a source of security. I fully understand that without this treatment I was suffocating all night, and with it I won't. Took my reflexes a while to match what I knew, but they did at some point align.

So, here's one more "Hang In There!"

Kathy

[BlackSpinner]

If you have ongoing problems with depression you must have a therapist for it. Use that therapist to deal with the anxiety attacks you are experiencing (that is what they are). Maybe your medication can be adjusted until you feel secure in your apnea therapy. Proper use of your machine will help the depresion.
Take control - it helps.

[Muse-Inc]

Pattyo, DON'T GIVE UP...EVER! Don't let this condition get the better of you, you are stronger than it! You CAN make this therapy work, you can because all of us have made it work or in the process of making it work. Just keep telling yourself that there is a way to make it work for you, you, not everyone else, your specific expression of sleep disordered breathing. Will it ever just be as simple as it used to be? Likely not, but everyone here grows, changes, learns, passes along what they've learned, offers suggestions...we care!

Your depression might just exist because your body is starved for oxygen every single night.

Stay. Ask questions...somebody here might have been through exactly what you're going thru or might provide a helpful suggestion.

When you get the hang of the equipment and settings and get some restful sleep, guess what? You begin to heal all the damage from likely yrs of apnea and how it's mangled your life and those of the people around you.

Welcome aboard!

[mipookiebear]

Hang in there. I can relate to this suffocating feeling. I just hate this thing over my face. I have tried to determine in my heart that I have to do this to sleep better. I have only been doing this for 16 nights. I went to my DME yesterday to change to a full face mask because of mouth breathing. I could not stand the chin strap around face along with the mask. This new mask for me is more comfortable. I am still struggling like you are. The people here have helped me with so much info that I didn't know concerning the use of cpap machine & mask. Just believe in yourself.

[Kiralynx]

First of all, if you're using a Bipap Auto SV, you've got a great machine!

Of course, I could be a trifle prejudiced, since it's the same machine I have!

I think the thing which absolutely drove me bonkers at first was that the RT forgot to turn off all the alarms the thing comes equipped with and every time I'd have an event, I was not only jolted by the event but by the alarms. As I commented to the RT, "If the object of this exercise is me sleeping all night, uninterrupted, it kind of defeats the purpose to have the machine jarring me awake every few minutes!"

What are your pressures on the machine?

EPAP = Exhalation Pressure, MinIpap = Minimum Inhalation Pressure, and MaxIpap = Maximum Inhalation Pressure.

Mine are EPAP = 6, MinIpap = 10, and Max Ipap = 14. When I first started, they had my EPAP equal to the MinIpap, and I couldn't tolerate it -- I was struggling to breathe out. After about a week or so, we reduced my EPAP to 6, and my number of events dropped radically.

How are you doing with your mask? I understand the 432 is a good one, although I myself have trouble with full-face masks.

It's easy to feel down when being handed such a monumental health challenge as apnea. I cried coming out of the doctor's office with my diagnosis because I was less than six months past cancer surgery, which had taken a serious toll.

Keep reading here, and you can learn so much. Everyone of the "experienced" folk was once in your shoes. You can get great tips, tricks, and above all, support here. And, hey, you're starting out with a machine that is absolutely top mark!

[Guest]

First, you should be speaking with a medical professional about your depression. Getting diagnosed with sleep apnea is not a bad thing. It is treatable and not a problem.

Second, how much exercise are you doing? Get your a$$ out walking every day. It will help with your mood and your sleep.

In terms of the CPAP, get your body used to it. Sit down and watch your favorite TV show while using it. The feelings of suffocating is normal at first. You have to work through them. Get used to the mask. I had the same at first, but sit in bed and read with it. Go watch TV (it should be out of your room). Don't just try to deal with it when you're tired and cranky.

Quite frankly, 4 hours of use in a month isn't trying very hard. CPAP treatment along with eating well and losing some weight will absolutely change how you feel.

You still should seek treatment from depression and not from a sleep apnea site. Go visit your doctor.

[pattyo]

Thanks for your reply. I have had my pressure changed once and the ramp changed twice.
My EPAP is 10, IPAP is 16, and I-max is 22. As for the mask, I am having a terrible time with it. I just feel like it leeks too much and if I tighten the mask so there are no leeks, it feels too tight. Perhaps I need a smaller mask, I wear a medium. Anyway, thanks for the encouragement. It sounds like you had much more to deal with having cancer. I pray you are feeling well and continue to do so. Patty

First of all, if you're using a Bipap Auto SV, you've got a great machine!

Of course, I could be a trifle prejudiced, since it's the same machine I have!

I think the thing which absolutely drove me bonkers at first was that the RT forgot to turn off all the alarms the thing comes equipped with and every time I'd have an event, I was not only jolted by the event but by the alarms. As I commented to the RT, "If the object of this exercise is me sleeping all night, uninterrupted, it kind of defeats the purpose to have the machine jarring me awake every few minutes!"

What are your pressures on the machine?

EPAP = Exhalation Pressure, MinIpap = Minimum Inhalation Pressure, and MaxIpap = Maximum Inhalation Pressure.

Mine are EPAP = 6, MinIpap = 10, and Max Ipap = 14. When I first started, they had my EPAP equal to the MinIpap, and I couldn't tolerate it -- I was struggling to breathe out. After about a week or so, we reduced my EPAP to 6, and my number of events dropped radically.

How are you doing with your mask? I understand the 432 is a good one, although I myself have trouble with full-face masks.

It's easy to feel down when being handed such a monumental health challenge as apnea. I cried coming out of the doctor's office with my diagnosis because I was less than six months past cancer surgery, which had taken a serious toll.

Keep reading here, and you can learn so much. Everyone of the "experienced" folk was once in your shoes. You can get great tips, tricks, and above all, support here. And, hey, you're starting out with a machine that is absolutely top mark!

[Kiralynx]

Thanks for your reply. I have had my pressure changed once and the ramp changed twice.
My EPAP is 10, IPAP is 16, and I-max is 22. As for the mask, I am having a terrible time with it. I just feel like it leeks too much and if I tighten the mask so there are no leeks, it feels too tight. Perhaps I need a smaller mask, I wear a medium. Anyway, thanks for the encouragement. It sounds like you had much more to deal with having cancer. I pray you are feeling well and continue to do so.

You might want to consider starting a thread titled "Help with (Name of Your Mask), please?" and post exactly the issues you are having. There's bound to be someone who's expert in full face masks in general and maybe even yours in particular who can lend you a hand.

What little I know suggests that the tighter you make a mask, the more likely you may be to get untoward leaks. It sounds counter-intuitive, but it does happen. Sometimes, changing the strap on the thing, with the angle different can be a big help. (I needed a full face mask while I had a respiratory infection and had a dreadful time with the thing until I had the bright idea of changing the strap out to a different one. Now, although I still don't care for my Zzz-mask, it works when I need it to work.

Ask your RT about exchanging your mask for a smaller one. If it has been less than 30 days since you got it, you should be able to do so.

I'm doing better now -- I just got my third set of labs, and they came back NEGATIVE, so I'm on my way, I hope, to being declared cancer-free. Just four more years! Weird to think that about the time I'll be up for a new Bipap Auto SV (or the newer, neater model that will probably have replaced it), I will be able to take another step to health by being cancer free.

In the last eight months, I've logged over 2000 hours on my machine, and it's helping me in so many amazing ways. Took me a bit to get mask and pressures and things sorted out, but things work pretty well now. Getting the mask to work for you is the most important thing you'll ever do. Some people have gone through 10 or 15 masks in their Quest For The Perfect Mask.

I'm betting you can get there too!