I'm going to call this a success. CPAP going into week 4

[Froro]

So, I'm heading into my fourth week of being attached to cpap at night.

I've named it Snuffleupagus and the hose "Mr."

Snuffy is my new best friend but also a constant source of aggrevation. We have a love hate relationship. I love it because I am starting to finally feel like me again. I'm 100% compliant. I've tweeked his settings for optimal benefits but he has a really annoying high pitch after he's been on for awhile that kind of sears through my brain and out my eyeballs. The DME was supposed to give me a new machine but they changed their mind yesterday so the fight continues. I've contacted the manufacturer now. Other than that really irritating pitch the machine is actually very quiet.

Only a few people have heard the noise so I think it's one of those individual sensitiviy to a particular pitch thing. Last night I wrapped Snuffy up in baby blankets and that helped dampen it to a non brain searing level. I'm going to try reducing the EPR tonight to 1 and see if that does anything as well.

Benefits thus far. I am actually sleeping. For the first time ever I am going to bed at a regular time, and waking up refreshed. I need a solid 7-8 hours or I feel like hell in the morning. Prior to this I was getting by on 4-5 hours night (sometimes a little more). This has been the case for a minimum of 10 years.

My brain is clearing. I was starting to feel like I was slipping into a depression because I simply was not functioning properly. Everything has been an effort the last year. I would suck it up and get done what I had to get done but was exhausted. The last 6-8 months even moreso. Making any kind of decision has been difficult, I was having trouble with simple everyday things. Getting off a chair or sofa was an exhausting thought. Sudden changes or issues would really throw me for a loop, where before I could just say..okay, lets deal with it. That fog is lifting big time. I am starting to see the good instead of just the effort now.

I don't nap anymore!! The last several months I have been known to have a minimum to two naps a day, then fall asleep on the sofa watching the tele at night only to be up again at 3 am unable to sleep for a good two hours. I've only had three naps in the last three weeks. I have the energy to work out and my days are getting packed again with things I need to do to get this house/family, and my life back in order.

The kids have told me uncerimoniously that I have been a total grouch and moody the last year. Last week My daughter hugged me and told me she's glad mommy seems so happy again. My oldest (16) said he sees non moody mom coming back. (My husband is really moody so having to deal with one parent like that is enough for any kid). He told me that he was taking his time coming home from school because he didn't know whether bitchy mom or normal mom was home. He said the last couple weeks normal mom has come home. (I noticed he started getting home earlier last week)

So...while Snuffy and I are having newlywed issues the relationship has a strong foundation. The fact that I'm looking forward to the day again, and not having to force myself into happy Froro mode to put up a good face when I really felt like s#!@ is liberating.

It's funny but now that the cloud is lifting I can see how miserable I've really been. (especially the last year) My husband and I were fighting (and we have never fought really), I was ready to walk out the door last year. We have worked through the rough stuff and are much stronger as a result but MAN....I can totally see his side of it all now much more clearly, whereas before I was in denial about it all. I can see how I have let things slide the last couple of years AND I can see how to change that now whereas before I was struggling to see how to approach them.

I can say that if this is what actual sleep does for you, I'll be with Snuffleupagus to the grave now. I feel the strong, happy woman emerging from the incredibly dense fog.

Side benefit health wise....my blood pressure is still down to normal, my heart rate down, and I've lost 5 lbs already.

So...yeah...I don't like my new role of "hoser" per se but the benefits of it certainly outweigh the annoying side of it hands down.
I still have a few bad days here and there but I'm putting that off to life as opposed to actual sleep deprivation. My AHI has remained below 5 consistantly now and is more often than not hovering around 3.1, actual apnea events are down to less than 4 per night.

I'm sure there will struggles ahead of me but I will face them one at a time and actual be able to deal with them with that old can do attitude that has brought me this far in life. I've always been a very positive person so I've not really been liking myself too much the last year or two. I'm liking me again and how I feel so to those struggling...please stick with it. Tweek your machine, do what you have to do but don't give up. I can't begin to tell you how amazing it is to have my old self coming back.

On that note....I'm heading out for a full day of appointments with the kids agent, returning a card and reader that a board member graciously loaned me for a few days to try out, and then...I'm going to go do something for me today. Not sure what yet but I suspect perhaps I'll indulge in a hair cut. (I haven't had the energy to even get one of those in the last two years...my hair is screaming for a cut)

[DaveG]

thats great news. sounds like things are going well for you.

[wasColette]

It's great to hear these success stories! Thanks for sharing it.

[KevinDeanAHOM]

Glad it is working out. Stay with it. Better benefits to come long term.