OT: Indiana Rules

[Goofproof]

THE RULES OF RURAL INDIANA ARE AS FOLLOWS :
Listen up City Slickers !

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Rt. 70 goes east and west, I-65 goes north and south. Pick one.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $150,000 corn pickers and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. So every person in southern Indiana waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat tater & gravy, beans & cornbread. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age..

11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup. Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.

14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

15. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities , Community Colleges, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays.

18. We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.

19. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway.. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. Refer back to #1.

20. 4 inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive like you got some sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska , worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades will have you out the next day.

[minolta25]

*HOWL*

That was a good one (and I do agree!)

[TerryB]

Born and raised in western PA, went to school in Angola IN.
I learned the rules and saw them applied.
Thanks!!

[luke]

Yeah yeah yeah...but Delaware is the FIRST state and we have the VP !

[skittles]

The same rules apply to Virginia --

Skittles

[echo]

Go Indiana!! I tried desperately to get away when I was younger, now I miss that fabulous state.
(GO Boilermakers )
Thanks goofproof

[OzarkTurtle]

Amen to that, Im originally from Minnesota and grew up on a cattle ranch and really miss farm life. Your rules are spot on.

[Shellie_p]

ROFLMAO

Only forgot one thing.

15. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

Its Colts blue darnit ! And yes there are horseshoes EVERYWHERE! Get used to it.

20. 4 inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive like you got some sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska , worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades will have you out the next day.

Oh yea this one gets me. It starts snowing and many people seem to panic. My BF works at walgreens and he says the people who rush in to get perscriptions & last minute neccisities when it starts snowing is funny. A good portion of them will tell him how bad the weatherman said it is suposed to get and how they need to be prepared. But yet in my lifetime (I'm 40)the worst winter I have ever seen wasn't even because of snow it was ICE!! Power was out for a week due to ICE, roads were fine. But you couldnt find a candle/lamp oil/sidewalk salt etc for nothing!

Isn't it amazing how many people get out and drive in the ICE/snow and still go OVER the speed limits?!?! They drive like theres NOTHING on the road. Or you get the ones that refuse to go over 5 mph out of fear. Makes me wanna scream "Get out and walk its faster!"

[OldLincoln]

Makes me a bit embarrassed to be from California.

[Shellie_p]

well this year im not to happy being a hoosier since its already snowed before thanksgiving!! Good thing it didnt stick.
And already having to have the furnace on full time. But then again I am also freezing to death and have been since surgery in september so who knows.
Now I am seeing colts christmas stuff in walmart!! As if the overzelous merchandizing wasn't already bad enough now there going into xmas gear.
BTW I am NOT A sports fan

[Slinky]

Yeah yeah yeah...but Delaware is the FIRST state and we have the VP !

Say what???? I thought Pennsylvania was!

[Songbird]

Say what???? I thought Pennsylvania was!

Nope. We were going to be, but James Wilson, head of the Pennsylvania delegation, was tied up in contract negotiations for his sports equipment manufacturing empire, and Pennsylvania ratified the Constitution five days later than Delaware. That's why Ben Franklin advised Poor Richard, "He whose legs join the race while his mind is still on his balls will always come in second."

Marsha