Jen (Socknitster) had her Baby (off topic)

socknitster · Post by **socknitster** » Thu Jun 26, 2008 3:50 pm

Charles "Charlie" Russell W_____

Born June 16, 2008 3:07 pm

8 lb, 9 oz

The birth was relatively easy and fast. Charlie was born healthy and raring to go. The first 24 hours were awesome. However, after that, things went south. His life was never in danger, I don't think, but things have been extremely difficult.

We are still struggling with jaundice brought on by the very rare ABO incompatibility. This is very similar to the RH factor that everyone knows about, except there isn't a shot to "cure" it. My blood type is O+ and his is B+ and that caused my body to attack his blood and break down his hemoglobin, making the toxic biliruben which is what makes them yellow.

The baby also has reflux. And we have breastfeeding issues. Sleep doctors aren't the only incompetent doctors out there.

My baby got sick enough from the jaundice while doctors took a "wait and see" approach, that he couldn't breastfeed properly (jaundice causes extreme sleepiness in infants) and I had to switch to bottles--there was no choice. Now he is relatively better and has the strength and energy to nurse directly, but since bottles are easier, he is refusing the breast about half the time. Babies this age can have a mind of their own.

This means I spend most of my day trying to nurse my baby, hold him upright so he doesn't spit up all his food, then pumping my breasts to keep up the supply, then washing all the bottles and pump accessories. And try to keep my 4 year old happy in the few spare moments I have.

He was just prescribed an acid reducer and is still on a bili blanket at home until his biliruben numbers come down. We did have to be re-hospitalized for 2.5 days shortly after being released the first time. It has been a trip.

Hopefully things will get better here soon. Only gentle determination will prevail if I don't go nuts first. I may have to give in and switch to formula because pumping breastmilk on top of everything else is starting to tip the scales in favor of insanity. But that idea in itself goes counter to all that I hold dear so I still have some tough decisions ahead unless everything magically falls into place soon.

Sorry I sound so glum. Could use a pep talk here. I know I have tried to give many wise words here and I could stand to hear some from you guys now.

Jen

SleepGuy · Post by **SleepGuy** » Thu Jun 26, 2008 3:59 pm

Jen, Congrats and Congrats!

That's quite an amazing, miraculous thing to bring a New Life into this world.

Fantastic.

Hang in there and TRUST your instincts no matter what your doctor(s) might say. Stick with what you feel best, ask lots and lots of questions, and go with your best judgment as to how to care for your little one.

I have and adopted son who was born extremely premature (27 weeks) and had a LOT of very serious issues, including bilateral cerebral hemorrhages that caused brain damages. He was on a respirator for 30 solid days. His development was slow and his nuerological development in particular was a-symmetrical. It was all rather overwhelming back in the first year.

But I am happy to report that he just turned 11 this last Monday and enjoys fantastic health, vision, motor skills, and is on grade level.

cflame1 · Post by **cflame1** » Thu Jun 26, 2008 4:02 pm

Jen,
Congrats on the baby

I can't offer words of advice on babies... I don't have any.

barb_z · Post by **barb_z** » Thu Jun 26, 2008 4:10 pm

Wow Jen, I am sure you are glad the long wait is over, in spite of the problems. I will be thinking of you and sending lots of positive thoughts your way. Do your CPAP! The rest will fall into place.

Again: Thinking of you!!!
Barb

RiverDave · Post by **RiverDave** » Thu Jun 26, 2008 4:11 pm

Congratulations!

gasparama · Post by **gasparama** » Thu Jun 26, 2008 4:43 pm

Jen,

It is so good to hear from you. You've been on my mind everyday.

You go to the hospital all excited to meet your new son, you're so ecstatic because he's checked in in good health, and the boom, problems. We had other problems with our now 25 y/o preemie. The weren't particularly life threatening, but is was an emotionally charged time for us. And our poor little 4 year old had to just watch as we spent so much time taking care of Andrew.

Even though I have no advice for your particular problem, I probably know, in part, how you feel. These problems will probably pass.

Please just keep writing us. There are a lot of people who care about you.

Post pics as soon as you can.

Love,
Jane

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jun 26, 2008 4:57 pm

Jen.....

Sounds like an EXCELLENT TIME to ship the 4 year old off to his favorite Grandparents/Aunts/Uncles/Dear Friends for a week or two, or three.

My mom shipped me to Oklahoma every summer of my childhood to spend it with my Grandparents. Gave her some breathing room, gave them a dose of their only grandchild, and gave me the spoiling of a lifetime. I highly recommend it.

I think you should try to breast feed as long as you can. The day you contemplate asking for a double mastectomy rather than pump the breasts again, I give you MY PERMISSION to switch to formula. I swear you won't be labeled "A Bad Mommy."

My love to Charlie, DH, DS, and YOU!!! {{{{{{{JEN}}}}}}}}}}
-Babs

bdp522 · Post by **bdp522** » Thu Jun 26, 2008 5:25 pm

CONGRATS JEN!!!

I don't know how wise any of this is but....

Include Big Brother in as much baby care as you can. He's old enough to be the go-fer and do little jobs around the house for you. He needs to feel that he is a part of all this. I'm sure an active 4 yr old could entertain the baby for a few minutes here and there.

Try to spend some quality time with just you and your first born. He needs to know that he will always be the favorite! (Just as the baby will always know he is the favorite!) This may be hard now, but even a few minutes here and there with just the two of you would be great!

Babies are resilient! I'm sure things will soon be more relaxed and the baby will be fine.

Pamper your self!!!!!! Take time just for you. It need not be a long time but it does need to be just for you. Go get your nails done, or go have an ice cream, a long soak in a hot tub, do something that benefits no one else but you. DON'T feel guilty about it!!!! You have earned it! Even something small may help you be more refreshed.

I hope some of this helped

Brenda

j.a.taylor · Post by **j.a.taylor** » Thu Jun 26, 2008 5:35 pm

Jen,

Congratulations!

I miss my babies! They're all grown up now (the youngest daughter is 16, the oldest 22, the 21 year-old-daughter just got engaged, the 18 year-old just graduated).

Oh well! In a few years, my wife and I will have the joy of grandbabies!

I'm wishing you many. many, years of the same joy I've had. It's hard to hear, but true: They grow up fast! So enjoy every moment.

Needsdecaf · Post by **Needsdecaf** » Thu Jun 26, 2008 6:17 pm

Jen:

Congrats! Having a baby is truly a miracle and changes your life forever, even if you already have one.

When my wife was pregnant, I was very pro-breastfeeding. My wife was not as convinced but wanted to try anyway.

We had a terrible time getting the little guy to feed. Our lactation consultants were awful, and he just did not want to latch on. In fact, when rolled in, he would essentially go berzerk.

We tried to feed him for two days. He would not latch. It just wasn't working. His cries were normal, but when feeding, they were terribly animated for a two day old. I could tell already that it was inducing panic.

We had no choice but to feed him formula. My wife tried to pump for two weeks, but without the actual contact, could not produce more than a couple of ounces. She was depressed and upset, and felt like a failure.

Of course, she was not a failure and continues to be a wonderful mother. Many of us were formula fed and are very healthy (myself included). Formula feeding is not the infant equivalent of Wonder Bread. Do what you know is right and what you have to do to develop your child as you see fit. There are many challenges to raising a child and I can tell by your concern that you are probably a wonderful mother.

Keep the faith and keep plugging. The situation will get better.

My best friend's brother had twins in November. One of them only was released from the hospital about a month ago. He has severe reflux and it did not allow him to eat hardly at all. He is still tiny, and occasionally when eating will stop breathing and will turn blue until literally smacked on the behind.

Keep it up!

OutaSync · Post by **OutaSync** » Thu Jun 26, 2008 6:28 pm

Jen,

I wish I was your mother, so I could move in and help you with the little ones. I miss my grandbabies so much.

You are wise and resourceful. I know you can handle it. Keep taking deep breaths and know that there is a whole community of folks here who care about you.

Bev

yorkiemum01 · Post by **yorkiemum01** » Thu Jun 26, 2008 6:37 pm

CONGRATS.........and a big WELCOME to Charlie to this glorious world!

Mom is anxious, worried, sleep deprieved (not to mention the OSA) and
the hormones are a-flutter. Hang in there.....and keep up the breast-feeding/pumping as best you can. Gives the lil man' the best of the best, as only his Mum can. Feels like soon enough, they'll be teenagers and you'll be worrying then too. Wishing you ALL the absolute best!!
We'd LOVE a picture of your sweet Charles. Be well and God Bless!

rested gal · Post by **rested gal** » Thu Jun 26, 2008 6:44 pm

OutaSync wrote:You are wise and resourceful. I know you can handle it. Keep taking deep breaths and know that there is a whole community of folks here who care about you.

Bev

What Bev said.

Congratulations on the new little guy.

Babette accidentally guested wrote:Jen.....

Sounds like an EXCELLENT TIME to ship the 4 year old off to his favorite Grandparents/Aunts/Uncles/Dear Friends for a week or two, or three. Laughing

That does sound like a very good idea...even if just for weekends to give you a well deserved break.

Treesap · Post by **Treesap** » Thu Jun 26, 2008 6:49 pm

CONGRATULATIONS MOM, DAD, AND BIG BROTHER!!

WELCOME TO YOUR NEW WORLD CHARLES RUSSELL!

My sister had twin baby girls at the end of February. They both have reflux, and one had to have the bilirubin blanket for about a week after they got home because she had jaundice as well. She has a 2 year old son also. They are both on reflux medication. My sister gave up breast feeding as it was tormenting with two. The biggest thing she had to learn was to not feel guilt about it. She had it in her mind that breastfeeding was the only best way. After exhaustion and frustration set in, she realized bottle feeding would be OK, and it would allow my brother-in-law to help more. But then keeping up with the pumping became cumbersome, and she went to formula after 6 weeks.

I feel for you Jen. I stayed with them the first 2 weeks to help out with my nephew. You and your family are in my prayers.

-SWS · Post by **-SWS** » Thu Jun 26, 2008 6:53 pm

Congratulations on Charlie, Jen!!!

It sounds as if you are getting some great advice. You and Charlie are lucky to have each other!!! Plenty of hard work but so worth it. Again, congrats!!!
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Jen (Socknitster) had her Baby (off topic)

Jen (Socknitster) had her Baby (off topic)

Charlie!!!!