Just saying "HI!" and looking for a hug...

preemiern · Post by **preemiern** » Tue May 27, 2008 6:32 pm

Hi friends...I'm in Illinois with my mom, stepdad and my brother's family right now. My stepdad is in the end stage of terminal cancer, and very close to starting the next part of his journey. We have hospice care for him now, and he is getting morphine and ativan every two hours. He has been more than a "stepfather" to me...he has been my daddy and PawPaw to my kids for the past 18 years, so it is very hard to watch him leaving us, and very hard to watch my mom go through this, as my grandma, her mom, just passed away less than two years ago.
Today my sister-in-law and I went to make all the funeral arrangements and cemetary arrangements so my mom wouldn't have to do that again. When my grandma passed away none of my mom's brother's (there are 5 of them) would help with arrangements, expenses, etc... so it was me and my mom and stepdad that did that, and now my mom doesn't have her husband by her side for support, so we went today so she wouldn't have to.
I keep coming on the computer and reading posts here, and it makes me feel not quite so far from my own home and family. My kids and grandbabies weren't able to make the trip down with me...they don't have as liberal LOA policies with their jobs as what I have.
So...just wanted to say hi to my friends here, some of you have known me for two years now...in fact I was diagnosed with sleep apnea, and got my machine just 10 days before my grandma passed away in august of '06. so coming here makes me feel a little less lonely and homesick. Thank you all for being here and listening!!
Hugs-
Cindy

6PtStar · Post by **6PtStar** » Tue May 27, 2008 6:41 pm

I'm SOOOOOOO sorry to hear about your stepdad. I know your mom will appreciate your being strong and helping at this time.

Hugs sent your way!!!!!

Jerry

sleepycarol · Post by **sleepycarol** » Tue May 27, 2008 6:55 pm

Sorry to hear about your stepdad. Your mom will be grateful for the support. My dad dies when I was 22 and I have five younger siblings. Due to problems my mom was having at the time (she was mentally ill) she couldn't deal with my dad's death and us kids had to make all the arrangements. Thank goodness for wonderful neighbors and friends.

yorkiemum01 · Post by **yorkiemum01** » Tue May 27, 2008 7:13 pm

I will certainly place you and your family in my prayers.
God Bless and...may I add a hug

birdshell · Post by **birdshell** » Tue May 27, 2008 7:14 pm

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Cindy))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

My heart, thoughts, and prayers go out to you. You are, as usual, taking care of business, aren't you? However, unlike many other caretakers, you have come here to take care of YOURSELF, as well. Way to go, girl!

Your stepdad sounds as if he WAS your father, because I have learned that our family is not always related to us by genetics. He sounds like a true man and I am sure that he appreciates your presence.

Thanks for the compliment in coming to the forum for support. I still believe that we are one, if not THE, best forum(s) on the Internet because we do prop up each other emotionally.

Please keep us posted. I don't think one ever runs out of hugs to give, nor tires of receiving them.

With all the support I can send long distance,

Karen

alnhwrd · Post by **alnhwrd** » Tue May 27, 2008 7:49 pm

Cindy,

Please allow me to add my thoughts and prayers to the others.

Alan

pjwalman · Post by **pjwalman** » Tue May 27, 2008 8:28 pm

Huge hug from here, Cindy!! I'll be thinking of you!!

Peggy

-SWS · Post by **-SWS** » Tue May 27, 2008 9:28 pm

Cindy, my heart goes out to you. Aunt Weeza gives you her best too...

kteague · Post by **kteague** » Tue May 27, 2008 10:19 pm

Cindy,

Glad you coming here is of some support. Funny how "strangers" can be friends, isn't it?

I remember when several of us were regulars in the chat room and I had my grandson let you all know I was in the hospital. Next thing I know the nurse is bringing me a phone message with a number to call if I needed anything. I'd been tracked down. Everyone was so encouraging. I think that was before you were even a grandma. Glad to return the support and please know I care what you're going thru.

Take care.

Kathy

gulfpearl · Post by **gulfpearl** » Tue May 27, 2008 11:30 pm

Cindy I send you a million cyber hugs. I know what you are going through. My mother in law is also diagnosed with terminal cancer although she is not at the end stages yet. It is a real strain watching her digress. Hold on to the good memories that will get you through these tough times. You will always have our support. I am sure your mother appreciates all of the help you are giving her. Keep us posted.

cflame1 · Post by **cflame1** » Wed May 28, 2008 5:31 am

Cindy... I know some of the feelings. Last week I flew to Canada to say good bye to my dad as he's got terminal cancer and a bunch of other medical problems. He's not quite to hospice stage yet.

Big hugs from me.

bearcatx16 · Post by **bearcatx16** » Wed May 28, 2008 6:28 am

A prayer for you and your family, from East Central IL, as you face the days ahead. Lean on Him and He will take care of you.

Blessings,

Fred

Slinky · Post by **Slinky** » Wed May 28, 2008 6:41 am

(((hugs))), Cindy. My prayers are w/you and your family. When we lost my oldest daughter it helped to remember and talk about the good times. It will help your stepdad as well. Just another way to let him know how much he is loved and it helps those who love him as well.

bap40 · Post by **bap40** » Wed May 28, 2008 7:55 am

I feel for you also, even though I have not been here that long. We watched my mother in law go thru the same thing and that was many, many years ago. Try to keep in mind that he is on his way to a much better place and never really is "gone" from your life. He will be with you always and will be watching and taking care of things as he can from his next life's adventure. As we did with my own father a few years ago, we told him it was allright to go and we loved him and he was a good father. They then took him off of life-support and he quietly passed. The last words he heard were of encouragement to continue his on with his journey.

Good luck, keep laughing and know he is on his way to a pain-free new life.

Pineapple · Post by **Pineapple** » Wed May 28, 2008 8:01 am

Cindy,

So sorry to hear of your lost.

Machine	Mask

Just saying "HI!" and looking for a hug...

Just saying "HI!" and looking for a hug...

Hugs from me too