The Box Under Bill & Hillary's Bed - Was it a cpap?

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roster
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The Box Under Bill & Hillary's Bed - Was it a cpap?

Post by roster » Thu Feb 21, 2008 4:46 pm

The Box Under Bill & Hillary's Bed

When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, 'I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it.'

In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. On the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box was 3 empty beer cans and $81,874.25 in cash.

She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why there even was such a box with such contents. That evening, they were out for a special anniversary dinner.

After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, 'I am so sorry, Bill. For all these years, I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know, why do you keep the 3 beer cans in the box?'

Bill thought for a while and said, 'I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again.'

Hillary was shocked, but said, 'Hmmm, Jennifer, Paula and Monica. I am very disappointed and saddened by your behavior. However, since you are addicted to sex I guess it does happen and I guess 3 times is not that bad considering your problem.'

Bill thanked her for being so understanding. They hugged and made their peace. A little while later Hillary asked Bill, 'So why do you have all that money in the box?'

Bill answered: 'Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling center and redeemed them for cash.'

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Post by SleepyNoMore » Thu Feb 21, 2008 9:50 pm

Thanks Rooster, That was "GREAT"- I needed a good laugh... I guess your doing good since the surgery! I have just started back with wearing my mask since my Nov. 07 surgery, my nose is still sore. Take Care
SNM/SleepyNoMore

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and Friends that Care. :)

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Post by TossinNTurnin » Fri Feb 22, 2008 8:14 am

Despite the thread's misleading title, this had nothing to do with CPAP.

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Haven't we had enough of this kind of politicking?

As tempted as I was to put forth a similar and even funnier joke about McCain, or Newt Gingrich or Bush or Larry Craig or any number of others, I refrained ... because this board isn't the place for that.

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Post by Slinky » Fri Feb 22, 2008 8:50 am

Aw, shucks, TNT, I like both Hillary and Barak, and I still got a kick outta both the text joke and especially outta the pictured cartoon!! I'd have enjoyed a joke about McCain or Huckabee too. Even about John Edward, Mitt Romney or the others. If you can't laugh at life it "ain't" much of a life! You've got MY permission to post those jokes you mentioned. Not that its mine to give but if they are funny I will enjoy them. Heck, if you really don't wanna post them here, send them to me via a PM.

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Post by oceanpearl » Fri Feb 22, 2008 9:28 am

[quote="TossinNTurnin"]Despite the thread's misleading title, this had nothing to do with CPAP.

Image

Haven't we had enough of this kind of politicking?

As tempted as I was to put forth a similar and even funnier joke about McCain, or Newt Gingrich or Bush or Larry Craig or any number of others, I refrained ... because this board isn't the place for that.

I just want to go back to sleep!

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Post by Liam1965 » Fri Feb 22, 2008 9:37 am

oceanpearl wrote:It's too bad that there are no jokes aout us Independents. Oh well, we will have to settle by being the ones who always decide who the president will be.
There are. It's just that they are too complex for Democrats and Republicans to get them.

>DUCK<

Liam, not really independent, agnostic or bisexual, just bad at making up my mind.


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Post by sharon1965 » Fri Feb 22, 2008 10:27 am

jeez, TNT, lighten up
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got...

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TossinNTurnin
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Post by TossinNTurnin » Fri Feb 22, 2008 11:19 am

oceanpearl wrote:
TossinNTurnin wrote:Despite the thread's misleading title, this had nothing to do with CPAP.

Image

Haven't we had enough of this kind of politicking?

As tempted as I was to put forth a similar and even funnier joke about McCain, or Newt Gingrich or Bush or Larry Craig or any number of others, I refrained ... because this board isn't the place for that.
Who says I'm not independent in this regard? I don't like the innuendos about McCain either. Doesn't matter WHO it's about. I'm just tired of all this petty tripe.

We've got VERY serious problems in this country, and people are still joking about the sexual indiscretions that happened almost a decade ago?

No wonder this country is suffering the problems that it is.

Lighten up? Get real a pay attention to what's important instead of rehashing old tired jokes that are often used to distract from the serious issues at hand.

Not to mention that this is a CPAP board, not a CRAP board.

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Post by Slinky » Fri Feb 22, 2008 11:46 am

Liam1965 wrote:
oceanpearl wrote:It's too bad that there are no jokes aout us Independents. Oh well, we will have to settle by being the ones who always decide who the president will be.
There are. It's just that they are too complex for Democrats and Republicans to get them.

>DUCK<
Touche, Liam and OceanPearl!!! I used to be one of you guys! Until the last election anyway.


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Post by sharon1965 » Fri Feb 22, 2008 11:53 am

you know, tossin'
i really don't want to get into a pissing contest with you
you obviously feel very strongly about things, just about everything it seems...
however, i can't help but notice that you have only been a member of this forum for about 5 or 6 weeks, and already you have posted more than once about what you think these boards should look like, and what opinions you think other people ~ long standing forum members i might add ~ should be allowed to express...so i guess i'm kinda wondering who appointed YOU the cpap forum police

you also have no right to tell me or anyone else to "get real" and pay attention..you don't know me, or how real i am...and regardless of how serious problems are, in your world or anyone else's, there's really nothing wrong with 'distraction' from those issues...that would be the LIGHTEN UP part

no, it's not a "crap" board, but some of us consider others here friends, and as such we feel that we can joke around once in a while and that not everything we discuss has to be about cpap; if you don't want to read about something, you are free to skip the page

just sayin'

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got...

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Post by Guest » Fri Feb 22, 2008 12:09 pm

You "GO" Sharon1965, I agree with you 100%, if she dosen't like a little humor every now and then, she needs to leave the forum and find a new one !

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Post by stevoreno » Fri Feb 22, 2008 12:15 pm

[quote="sharon1965"]you know, tossin'
i really don't want to get into a pissing contest with you
you obviously feel very strongly about things, just about everything it seems...
however, i can't help but notice that you have only been a member of this forum for about 5 or 6 weeks, and already you have posted more than once about what you think these boards should look like, and what opinions you think other people ~ long standing forum members i might add ~ should be allowed to express...so i guess i'm kinda wondering who appointed YOU the cpap forum police

you also have no right to tell me or anyone else to "get real" and pay attention..you don't know me, or how real i am...and regardless of how serious problems are, in your world or anyone else's, there's really nothing wrong with 'distraction' from those issues...that would be the LIGHTEN UP part

no, it's not a "crap" board, but some of us consider others here friends, and as such we feel that we can joke around once in a while and that not everything we discuss has to be about cpap; if you don't want to read about something, you are free to skip the page

just sayin'


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Post by Liam1965 » Fri Feb 22, 2008 12:16 pm

(Drawing slowly out of silly mode, a difficult journey).

My thoughts.

1) I am definitely independent, but not necessarily the other things I posted.

2) I agree there's a certain difficulty reading these jokes, because they always FEEL like a slam. We've all (no matter what our political affiliation) gotten more than our share of these sent by friends or family members of a different political persuasion who have confused a simple "ha ha" with subtle political discourse and sit there looking smug as though they've just completely destroyed any reason you could possibly have for supporting candidate X.

3) Trust me, you won't find someone more convinced that we have serious problems in our country than I. I have some very definite opinions on the matter that get me into trouble sometimes.

4) Nevertheless, I think a bit of humor is good. We all are here because we have a serious medical problem. It can be frustrating to try to fix and cause us no end of problems. As a result, a little humor and off-topic camraderie occasionally is definitely a plus. If the board were always and 100% on topic it would quickly become boring, and although the information would all be "useful", there'd be a hell of a lot less of it, because people wouldn't stick around after the first yawn or two.

So, to sum up: Bush is evil. Hillary ain't no great shakes either. Laughs are good. I'm a nut job.

I hope that takes care of it.

Liam, frustrated that he has the answers to all of the country's political problems, but no one seems to listen.

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Post by TossinNTurnin » Fri Feb 22, 2008 12:48 pm

sharon1965 wrote:you know, tossin'
i really don't want to get into a pissing contest with you
you obviously feel very strongly about things, just about everything it seems...
What the heck are you talking about "just about everything"? There is no need to continue on making personal zingers.

The first situation I presume you're referring to, was in defense of someone else, whom btw, thanked me for my support. I'm not the one that "went negative" in that thread.

I have a right to my opinion regarding the "joke". I'm not allowed to state it unless it meets your approval on the "Miss Sunshine" scale?

YOU'RE the one playing the "Nice Police".

This, despite the fact that someone posted a political snipe cloaked as a joke, with an intentionally misleading title to make it seem as if it was somehow related to CPAP?

SleepyNoMore posted his/her opinion that the joke was "great", I posted my opinion that the joke wasn't great, and stated why. I made no personal aspersions until you got snippy with me.

My response about "get real", was exactly that, a RESPONSE to your snide "lighten up" snipe, so I certainly did have the right given YOUR personal sarcastic response to me.

It's YOU that's playing forum police here. I simply stated my opinion, which was not personal in anyway. YOUR the one that got personal towards me to which I responded in kind.

Slinky seemed to be able to make the same point as you without getting snide, so please don't try to color this as my somehow not being able to take criticism. I accept and appreciate Slinky's POV as we are ALL entitled to them, regardless of how long we've been on the board.

And please point out to me where "seniority" here is a prerequisite on this board for stating an opinion.

Maybe everyone should be warned that Sharon thinks you don't have a right to your opinion unless 1) she agrees with it and/or 2) you've made "X" amount of posts.

I've been a decent contributor here, I don't deserve your "unwelcome mat" because you don't like my opinion.

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Post by sharon1965 » Fri Feb 22, 2008 12:50 pm

wow....never mind

peace out
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got...