New C-pap user

sleepymom · Post by **sleepymom** » Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:09 am

This is my first post. I am a 49 year old single mom and I started using a cpap machine one week ago. With the first night's sleep I felt a tremendous difference. I'm alert during the day - and have tons of energy. Two problems though:
1. My appetite seems to have increased with my energy. I was hoping I'd lose weight as my energy increased, but I'm already feeling heavier - more bloated.
2. When I have the mask on I'm horrified by how I look. I hate to sound so vain - and I know I should just be happy that my apnea is being resolved - but I don't want anyone to see me. What can I do when I visit friends and relatives out of state? Is it reasonable to think I'll be able to hide the machine? And along that line, I feel like my chances of ever remarrying are completely shot - how can I ever hope to be intimate with a man again?

Barks1 · Post by **Barks1** » Sat Jan 26, 2008 2:14 am

Mom I understand you're feelings but if a man / woman wouldn't be interested in you bccause you have an illness that requires a CPAP machine is just silly.
Would you marry a man you doesn't want to see you feel well?

As for friends my wife an I sleep over friends houses so we are able to drink and not have to drive home. They wouldn't hear of not using the machine. You could think about showing your relatives the machine and how it works I bet they would be interested. If you have to put in away so they don't see it would send he wrong message to them when the find out.

It wonderful that you are having great results after the short time of use and I look forward to hearing more good news and the many questions you will have in the future.

Snoredog · Post by **Snoredog** » Sat Jan 26, 2008 2:38 am

If you can tolerate or curb appetite during those periods hunger you would probably find you burn fat during those times. Maybe eat carrots or something.

As for the mask appearance, not much you can do about that, its like an ugly robe you can always take it off

Most people your age also have OSA they just don't know it.

How many nights last year did you spend sleeping elsewhere where the mask would be embarrassing?

Moby · Post by **Moby** » Sat Jan 26, 2008 3:29 am

I'm embarrassed without the machine because of my horrible snoring!

Yes, when I first started cpap I was too embarrassed to let my husband see me in my mask. I was lucky and he has been uncharacteristically tactful about it all.Mainly he is over the moon that I don't snore any more, as it was so disturbing.

I have grown used to the mask now, and am not really embarrassed at all. I goof around and play "monster" or "elephant" when someone sees me in it. But it has taken time for me to get to this point.

Give yourself time. It will be okay.

regards

di

ozij · Post by **ozij** » Sat Jan 26, 2008 4:24 am

Barks1 wrote:Mom I understand you're feelings but if a man / woman wouldn't be interested in you bccause you have an illness that requires a CPAP machine is just silly.
Would you marry a man you doesn't want to see you feel well?

Or would you refuse to marry a man who uses cpap? Would you prefer to marry a man who uses cpap and hides it? Or a man who denies his disease?

Take the machine along wherever you go. Don't ever try to hide it. Explain you need it to keep from choking when you sleep, explain how you use it, tell them about sleep apnea - some people may start thinking if they themselves have it. And if you have any friends who make fun of you - or try to make you feel ashamed of having sleep apnea -- drop them pronto.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

O.

rwalther · Post by **rwalther** » Sat Jan 26, 2008 8:24 am

Let me qualify this by saying I'm a "guy" ... so my answers may not apply.

On your two issues:

(1) Use that energy to start working out. I had the same initial problem and found that when I got in a 40-minute workout ... the hunger simply "went away". I've actually lost 10 lbs in the month I have had my CPAP "stuff".

(2) I've found that "over-disclosure" is a great emotional liberator. I tell everyone that will listen about how great I feel since I got my OSA diagnosed, and that I sleep with this wonderful "gadget" that blows air into me to keep the airway open. People tend to be very interested, they ask question, etc. You'll even find that a lot more people know about this than you think. In the "pre-intimate" stage ... make sure you "over-disclose" and you shouldn't have a problem. If you do ... the guy is a "DOLT" and you don't want him for very long anyway.

BTW ... since we all roll over and fall asleep immediatley after sex, you only have to delay about 30 seconds before putting your mask off and nodding off into LA-LA-Land.

Rusty

sleepycarol · Post by **sleepycarol** » Sat Jan 26, 2008 5:09 pm

I really worried how my grandkids would take me wearing a mask at night. They are used to spending the night with granny and I didn't want to do anything that might frighten them.

After I received my mask and machine I set the kids down and showed them how it worked, let them hold the mask, turned the machine on and let them feel the air blowing, etc.

Their opinion was "if it makes grandma feel better we like it". This is coming from a 4 and 5 year old. They often spend the weekend with grandma and fuss if I lay down and haven't had to time to mask up they get upset at me and fuss.

If you find someone that truly cares ABOUT YOU they will be accepting. If they don't accept you then move on.

Many of us have significant others and our SO have accepted us --mask and all.

jknsk2002 · Post by **jknsk2002** » Sat Jan 26, 2008 10:20 pm

I hate to be the odd ball in the bunch, but last night was my first night attempting at wearing the mask. My 2 year old sleeps in between dh & I and when I went to bed and put the mask on, she "politely" picked up her blanket and baby and left the room. After about 2 hours of trying to avoid a panic attack, I took the darn thing off.... On an "up note", I read some other posts and saw that there are "smells" that you can buy for your machine and now I'm trying to look at this as something like a "Spa Machine", lol...Whatever works...lol

If you want to email me, we can talk and maybe help each other through this transition period. I can't tell you how many times I have cried since I was told I'd have to wear this gizmo....at least you've had " a good nights rest" with it on. I can't even get there, lol...Will I ever ? My email is : jknsk2002@yahoo.com

Hope it gets better !
Susan

sleepymom · Post by **sleepymom** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 12:43 am

The suggestion to over-disclose surprised me - I've been so focused on how I can keep my apnea, snoring, and now my cpap a secret that I hadn't considered being up front about it. It's all so unfeminine - and at this stage in my life - it's depressing to have another thing to feel unattractive about. Maybe it's a female thing - or a menopause thing.

But I know you're all right. Being honest about it relieves me of my ugly secret. I'm traveling at the end of February - a semi-annual meeting I'm required to attend for work. They usually want us to double up in our hotel rooms (I work in the non-profit sector, so we have to keep expenses to a minimum)- and I've been working on a lie so that I can get out of sharing a room (I was thinking of claiming severe insomnia - explaining that it wouldn't be fair to whoever has to share a room with me). But just being straight with my boss makes a lot more sense.

Anyway - thank you all for being supportive and for your suggestions. Susan, I'll e-mail you.

sleepycarol · Post by **sleepycarol** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 10:12 am

jknsk2002

Please join our forum. We can help with the issues you may have using a machine and treatment. Most of us have been where you are.

I have 8 grandkids. They range in age from almost 2 up to 10. Even the youngest has "played" with my mask and hose to get used to the fact that "it" isn't hurting grandma. Let your child "play" with it some and turn the air on for him to feel. Mask up and show them it isn't hurting mommy. Most children are afraid of the unknown. Once they understand how something works and it isn't anything to be frightened of they adapt. Children are very resilent.

If you act scared, apprehensive, nervous, etc. when masking up your child will pick up on your vibes and will be spooked.

MartyR · Post by **MartyR** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:06 am

i havdent had mine stuff long either...i feel really silly waering it even in front of my wife...but bottom line is who cares...the only poeple that will see us are friends and family...not not we are wearing mask out in

sleeplessinaz · Post by **sleeplessinaz** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 12:12 pm

Hi Sleepymom--I am in Arizona too!!! LOL! I am in agreement with all the people that say tell everyone ---over disclose. I am married and my 2kids are older --everyone is just happy that I am feeling better!!!! My husband likes the soft sound of the machine --it makes him go to sleep esp since I do not snore anymore like a chain saw!!!

You will find once you start telling people about your machine and stuff they will ask you questions about it or even may tell U about someone in their family that uses one!!!

It is YOUR HEALTH--do not be ashamed of it----the mask and machine will be your comfort and your friend----

Carrie

salmon · Post by **salmon** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 1:05 pm

Hey there,
Definitely try to use the energy toward walking, or some type of exercise. That extra energy is a blessing.

As for sharing a room with someone, or someone seeing you in it, I can relate as I am a firefighter who has to sleep in the same room with up to 6 other guys, and have been worried about them getting on me about it, and being embarassed. Turns out 3 other guys in the department use the machine as well, and those who don't seem to understand after explaining what osa is. It always turns into a laugh.

They complain about the dry, unclean air in the hall at night, and I am feeling great with the humidifier and "filtered" air.

I would just say to whoever is assigned a room with you;"hope you don't mind a little bit of minor sound coming from my cpap machine, I have to wear it to help me sleep properly, it looks a little goofy also!"
Family should be very understanding. What you should really promote excessively is how well it works for you, then people shouldn't question anything.

Be strong, lady!

New C-pap user

New C-pap user

I'm with you..

Thanks for the feedback

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