A Question Only Mom Could Ask . . .

[j.a.taylor]

. . . Well, not really, but now that I have your attention, I'll tell my story (with some modifications for the sake of the tale):

By the way, this is a question that only my mom could ask without getting a sarcastic comment like: "Are you stupid? Do you really think I do this for fun?"

My wife and I spent the night at my mother's the other day. This is only the second time she's seen my xPAP machine. So she watched as I prepared everything before I went to bed.

The next morning, at breakfast, she asked: "I wonder why people didn't die from Sleep Apnea before doctors started diagnosing it?"

Now mom is not a stupid lady. She's college-educated (finished high-school and college when I was a teen), works for a multi-national corporation, and is a department head in that organization.

I looked at her with amazement, and answered her this way:

"Did Dad snore?"

Answer: "Like a freight train. Sometimes so bad that I had to get up and go sleep in the Living Room."

"How old was Dad when he died?"

Answer: "51"

"What did he die from?"

Answer: "Complications of heart disease, among other things."

I proceed to take her through a checklist of all Dad's health problems (beginning when he was in his early 40's), and describe the direct link between these problems and sleep apnea.

"When did his Dad die?"

Answer: 54

"When did Dad's brother (My Uncle Bob) die?"

Answer: 52

"Did they snore?"

Answer: "They shook the house."

"What other problems did they have?"

She lists them off as I go, "Check! Directly related to sleep apnea."

Finally, "Mom do you want me to die in my early 50's."

Answer: "No of course not!"

Reply: "Well, Mom, I'm turning 46 in February. I think I'll stick with the machine."

Mom just nods her head yes . . .

[Vadim]

BRAVO !!!

Bravo my friend, extremely well done! Plain simple and logic, easy to understand and open eyes!!!

I am printing your story out for future references!!!

[Wulfman]

John,

I love that story!!!

And, this line is a "classic".

"I wonder why people didn't die from Sleep Apnea before doctors started diagnosing it?"

Reminds me of some Donald Rumsfeld quotes.

Den

[Snoredog]

my dad died in my arms in the front yard of our home at age 51 also. It was 3 days before my 16th birthday, funeral was on my 16th birthday.

He died from a sudden heart attack. He had gotten up from a noon "nap" about 30 minutes earlier.

I KNOW he had sleep apnea, he snored like a train, used to wake us kids up in the other room. Mom said he stopped breathing during sleep all the time, back then they didn't even know about OSA.

While I've had a couple strokes, I've made it past his benchmark.

[Bookbear]

I think you handled your mother's comment with tact and good sense. I think your comments drove home that people died of OSA before it was understood for what it was.

I know in my dad's case it went undiagnosed. High blood pressure, weight gain, sleepy during the day, irritable: the whole spectrum of symptoms, put down to 'getting older' and 'eating too much salt'. . For years, he snored like a freight train, as I used to. I vividly remember walking down the hall one evening, hearing him snore and then.......stop. I stood and waited... and waited.... and waited for him to start breathing again with a choking gasp. I thought that was the way all guys breathed and slept. (Think of all the jokes and the sitcom situations centering on snoring... it wasn't serious, it was a joke.) My mom said, "Oh, he's done that all his life. He always starts breathing again. Don't worry." When he died at 57, it was listed as 'possible stroke/heart failure'. I KNOW now that whatever the immediate cause, the root cause was OSA.

[RosemaryB]

What a great explanation, J.A. Taylor. My grandpa died in his sleep after having a couple bad heart attacks and "recovering" from them a few years earlier. He died of a massive heart attack. He snored so loudly that my grandma slept in a different room with the doors both shut so she could get some sleep.

When I was diagnosed, I was telling my mom about the risks, etc. and she said that my grandpa must have died from that heart attack because he had sleep apnea. She said it was sad that we didn't know about this before. We are lucky to live at a time that they know about this.

Live long and prosper!

[Vadim]

Folks, it is incredible how we all share our stories here...one may read this forum and want to cry...I do, for example...

Look, I never knew that I had apnea, neither that I was snoring, until...until I got married. My wife had restless nights. And this is actually how my problem was discovered. Since she couldn't sleep, she stayed in bed and watched me snore (of course, sometimes she punched me to stop snoring, but eventually gave up). And she noticed that I stop breathing for about a minute or more, and freaked out!

I freaked out when she told me that! It took me 2 more years to accept that I may have sleep apnea. My wife continuously was telling me to go see doctor, I never listened. I really don't like going to docs, and I live quite active life, working out in gym, swim, etc. I was always in good shape, but the only problem was - if I stopped exercising, I gained weight quickly (now I understand why).

Meanwhile, I occasionally used to read stories in magazines, and at my work (trucking company) people told stories how drivers sometimes fall asleep and never woke up. This started to wake me up... So, one day I went to lung specialist, and took a test. The rest you can guess.

I am going to see my wife now and give her one more "thank you" big hug for caring about me, my dear honey!

[j.a.taylor]

Folks, it is incredible how we all share our stories here...one may read this forum and want to cry...I do, for example...

Look, I never knew that I had apnea, neither that I was snoring, until...until I got married. My wife had restless nights. And this is actually how my problem was discovered. Since she couldn't sleep, she stayed in bed and watched me snore (of course, sometimes she punched me to stop snoring, but eventually gave up). And she noticed that I stop breathing for about a minute or more, and freaked out!

I freaked out when she told me that! It took me 2 more years to accept that I may have sleep apnea. My wife continuously was telling me to go see doctor, I never listened. I really don't like going to docs, and I live quite active life, working out in gym, swim, etc. I was always in good shape, but the only problem was - if I stopped exercising, I gained weight quickly (now I understand why).

Meanwhile, I occasionally used to read stories in magazines, and at my work (trucking company) people told stories how drivers sometimes fall asleep and never woke up. This started to wake me up... So, one day I went to lung specialist, and took a test. The rest you can guess.

I am going to see my wife now and give her one more "thank you" big hug for caring about me, my dear honey!

Vadim,

Your story mirrors my story.

I've been married for 23 years, and over the last ten my wife has asked me to get a sleep study done.

I always put it off, until the doctor told us that many of my wife's health problems were made worse by sleep deprivation.

I knew the cause of that deprivation was my snoring. My wife would watch me once my snoring woke her up, and when I quit breathing, she would shake me awake.

The fact that I was damaging her health, because of my stubbornness, finally caused me to seek treatment. I'm glad I did.

Once I was diagnosed, I began to do some research, and discovered this forum. It was here that I learned about the seriousness of sleep apnea, and that began to help me put the connections together. Suddenly, I realized why many of the men in my family died in their 50's.

And since I'm in pretty good health, I'm excited to be making the changes I need to make now. My Dad wasn't around to enjoy his grandchildren, and that's sad, because just when he started to really appreciate all that life had to offer him, the damage was already done . . .

[j.a.taylor]

my dad died in my arms in the front yard of our home at age 51 also. It was 3 days before my 16th birthday, funeral was on my 16th birthday.

He died from a sudden heart attack. He had gotten up from a noon "nap" about 30 minutes earlier.

I KNOW he had sleep apnea, he snored like a train, used to wake us kids up in the other room. Mom said he stopped breathing during sleep all the time, back then they didn't even know about OSA.

While I've had a couple strokes, I've made it past his benchmark.

Snoredog,

What a tragedy.

All the years missed because your dad didn't have this treatment available.

Knowing that, and what you've shared about your strokes, I can understand why you're so passionate about helping others through this forum.

It's really quite stupid to refuse to make use of CPAP therapy considering the other options.

Thanks for sharing.
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