first and second night

[Pam]

Hi guys,

First, I want to say thank you for all the knowledge, joy, sadness, and laughter you have given to me over the last couple weeks. I don't know how I would have made it without all of you. I hope that someday I can impart the same to a newbie as you have me.

1st. Night: After putting on my head/face gear I turned to my side and being that it was quiet my brain decided to turn on my emotional button and as lay I there tears silently ran down my face. Not because of the way I looked with the mask but the total realization that I will have to wear it every single night for the rest of my life. Realizing I was feeling sorry myself I kicked myself in the a** (not literally of course) and moved my thinking to other things.

I woke up constantly all night long, I think I was worried about my mask moving out of position and creating lots of leaks and therefore no benefit. Plus not being used to the noise.

2nd. Night: Went much better. I still woke up some but not real sure if it was because of getting used to the mask, etc. or from my PLMS. I am sure though that it wasn't because of worrying about the mask moving out of place.

I know from reading all the post that it will take time before I get it all straighten out and start to feel some benefit from it all. But I also know I will control it and it won't control me.

Love to all of you wonderful hoseheads, and again thank you.

God bless you and yours,
Pam

[bdp522]

It WILL get easier. The hardest part of this whole thing for many is to just relax. You are doing GREAT so far, you WILL be successful! Keep posting and letting us know how you are doing...WE CARE!!!!

Brenda

[RosemaryB]

Welcome, Pam!

For me, there was a sense that I'd lost some freedom, having to be hooked up to a machine every night. It did bother me some at first.

But about a month ago, several months after starting cpap, I was lying on my back in some woods, looking up at trees towering over me and I was aware of seeing things in 3 dimensions, seeing all the subtle colors, leaves, and sky. In Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz, the film goes from BW to technicolor. It was like that. I was aware of how much richer my life is now that my brain is processing what my senses bring in.

Not to mention all the other parts of my life that have been given back to me through using the machine. I'm doing a much better job at work. My relationships are better. My house automatically stays more organized because I notice things and put them away. On and on.

If it's any comfort, I wanted to tell you that I have lost some freedom and spontaneity in my life, hooked up every night. But I've gained way more than I've lost.

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[LukeIamYourFather]

as lay I there tears silently ran down my face.

Welcome aboard Pam...

I too had tears running down my face, but mine were tears of joy!

I knew I would no longer fear falling to sleep and loosing my breath, having nightmares of drowning, being buried alive, etc.

I have been in this world long enough to know that there are many things worse than being "condemned" to CPAP for the rest of my life. On the contrary, I am greatful that there is such a simple, and effective treatment, and am greatful that I learned about it before OSA completely destroyed my health....now that would be something to be worried about!

However, there is no shame to your initial feelings about CPAP. We all have vastly different life experiences that cause us to react differently to any given set of circumstances.

In time your negative feelings will be completely overridden by the benefits of the therapy.......