Supporting My Partner- New CPAP User.

[Sweet_Sleep]

Hello!

I have just joined up, and will be encouraging my partner to do so, once he returns home with his CPAP machine! Hopefully, this means the start of a fresh new life. More energy for him! And sleep for us all.

I do wonder, just how long it takes for a person to setlle in with their machine? Is there a period where people have felt they have found it hard to adpat to using a CPAP? I want to be able to support my partner and encourage him. So any and all advice from those who have either just started using one or who are well seasoned with the machine, I am all ears!

Many MANY thanks in advance.

[freak557]

Welcome! Honestly it depends on the actual person. What type of equipment/mask is being used?

For myself, it took about a couple days to get used to the change.

[RandyJ]

Hello!

I do wonder, just how long it takes for a person to setlle in with their machine? Is there a period where people have felt they have found it hard to adpat to using a CPAP? I want to be able to support my partner and encourage him. So any and all advice from those who have either just started using one or who are well seasoned with the machine, I am all ears!

Please post your partner's equipment (cpap machine & mask) under your profile when you know what it is, and choose the "text" option (rather than photos). (See my signature below.) That way if you ask questions people can see at a glance what he is using.

As the previous poster said, it's an individual thing. Some people (like me) are lucky - we strap the mask on that first night and sleep through the night, every night, with no adaptation issues. Others struggle, can only tolerate the mask for a few hours at first, and have to gradually build up to using it all night long. I hope he is one of the lucky ones (for your sake as well).

Keep us posted... ask anything Just know that it is considered good form to use the Search function to see if your question has recently been answered by the wealth of posts on this forum... feel free to PM me.

Good luck!

[Sweet_Sleep]

Welcome! Honestly it depends on the actual person. What type of equipment/mask is being used?

For myself, it took about a couple days to get used to the change.

Hello freak557, thanks for your comment.

My partner hasn't arrived home yet, so I have no idea which machine he will have. Once he is, I will let you know.

Thanks.

[Sweet_Sleep]

Hello!

I do wonder, just how long it takes for a person to setlle in with their machine? Is there a period where people have felt they have found it hard to adpat to using a CPAP? I want to be able to support my partner and encourage him. So any and all advice from those who have either just started using one or who are well seasoned with the machine, I am all ears!

Please post your partner's equipment (cpap machine & mask) under your profile when you know what it is, and choose the "text" option (rather than photos). (See my signature below.) That way if you ask questions people can see at a glance what he is using.

As the previous poster said, it's an individual thing. Some people (like me) are lucky - we strap the mask on that first night and sleep through the night, every night, with no adaptation issues. Others struggle, can only tolerate the mask for a few hours at first, and have to gradually build up to using it all night long. I hope he is one of the lucky ones (for your sake as well).

Keep us posted... ask anything Just know that it is considered good form to use the Search function to see if your question has recently been answered by the wealth of posts on this forum... feel free to PM me.

Good luck!

Hello RandyJ, and thanks for the info.

I will post the machine details up as soon as I know what he brings home. I am itching to find out which it is!

[Pugsy]

Welcome to the forum.

Most of the time the machine isn't the issue...it is the mask that takes the adjustment when there is a problem adjusting to this therapy. The mask fit and comfort is the hardest part of this therapy.
Some people get lucky and find a suitable mask immediately and others struggle through various models.
Comfort and leaks is a hard balance sometimes.

There is a website with some videos on various masks and how to fit them properly.
http://www.cpaplibrary.com/mask-education link points to nasal pillows but there are other mask types offered. The most common problem is that people try too hard to prevent leaks and cinch things down too tight and then have pain or sores from things being too tight.
Once your partner gets their equipment you will have a starting point on how to make the adjustment time easier. There are various ways of making things better once we know which mask is needed.
Lots of ideas on how to make things more comfortable.

And if you want a little chuckle to get an idea what he is going through.....put the mask up to your face and give the machine a little try for a minute or so. It won't hurt you and you will then have an idea what he is facing.

[Mary Z]

Good to read of someone supporting a partner. I was lucky, though I struggled for a while with mask leaks I took to CPAP like a duck to water.

[robysue]

I do wonder, just how long it takes for a person to setlle in with their machine? Is there a period where people have felt they have found it hard to adpat to using a CPAP?

It varies tremendously. A few folks are lucky enough to feel (much) better immediately or almost immediately---as in a matter of a few days. A few folks are unlucky enough to take many, many months (or even over a year) before they start to feel much better. And some of those unlucky ones even go through a possibly prolonged period of feeling (much) worse with CPAP than they did before CPAP. Judging from what I've read here, most folks are in-between the extremes, and they start to feel better somewhere between a few weeks to a couple of months. And once you start to feel better, sleeping with the mask on your nose is no longer as big of an issue. I was one of those unlucky ones: Starting CPAP lead to a prolonged case of insomnia and a three to four month long serious crash in my ability to function in the daytime. But with support---from my hubby and from here---I kept persevering night after night. And eventually, with help from a PA in the sleep doc's office on the insomnia and a whole lot of hard work, I started to feel better. By six months I was sometimes waking up with no pain in my hands and feet. By one year, I was waking up pain free almost every day and I was usually feeling more rested and even a bit refreshed. So in the long run, I'd say the pain of my very protracted adjustment period was worth it.

Adding into the mix of variables that influence how long it takes to get used to sleeping with a CPAP are the problems many newbies face. They range from mask comfort (a very serious issue that MUST be addressed) to taking time to get used to all the new sensory stimuli (worse for some than others) to figuring out how to sleep with a six foot hose attached to your nose (turning over takes some practice) to dealing with rainout from the humidifier and/or aerophagia from air getting into your tummy. And then some folks struggle mightily with mouth leaks (a chin strap or a full face mask might help). And then a few folks are unlucky enough to have an initial prescribed pressure that proves to simply be incorrect. Sometimes the prescribed pressure is not quite high enough to properly control the apneas and hypopneas. Sometimes the pressure is a bit too high and creates serious comfort issues. And a very small handful of folks have problem with the pressure inducing something called central apneas. So it takes a bit of time to sort it all out and start looking forward to bedtime again.

I want to be able to support my partner and encourage him. So any and all advice from those who have either just started using one or who are well seasoned with the machine, I am all ears!

Like Pugsy said, offer to put his mask on your nose and wear it for five or ten minutes. It won't harm you and you will have a much better appreciation of just what is being asked of your partner. It took me many, many months to convince my hubby that I really needed him to try my hose for a few minutes. (The first time I asked him, he copped out and had my 22 year old daughter try my hose instead of him.)

Other things you can do:

Be patient with him. If he's lucky, you'll both be sleeping better rather quickly. But if he's not lucky, he'll need plenty of TLC and verbal encouragement.

Be cautious with the humor. Some hoseheads appreciate the (obvious) jokes and it can lighten the mood. Others react badly because they're already feeling a bit like a freak. You know your partner, but even if he's always been the kind who likes to joke around, pay careful attention to his reactions. And if it's not what you expect, back off a bit on the humor until another time.

Take things one night at a time. If your partner starts talking about how much he hates the whole shebang, encourage him to just put the hose on for one more night. But do this every night. The sooner he develops the habit of wearing the hose, the better off he'll be in terms of fully adjusting to the hose.

Don't be afraid to hug your partner when you're in bed with him and he has the mask on. Many new hoseheads feel terribly alone and isolated once they are masked up for the night. Feel free to talk to him, but don't ask questions or expect responses since it is very difficult (and sometimes uncomfortable) for newbies to talk with the mask on and the machine running.

If you hear leaks in the night, kick him or jostle him to get him to fix the leak in his sleep. If you hear air rushing out of his mouth, get him to shut his mouth. If you are often hearing air rushing from his mouth, tell him he's got a mouth leak problem and have him talk to the doctor or the DME.

If you wake up and notice that he's taken the mask off, wake him up and tell him to mask back up. Newbies often take their mask off, sometimes in their sleep and sometimes consciously. Either way, it's a habit that needs to be broken.

Offer to help with cleaning and maintaining the equipment. My hubby usually fills up my humidifier. It's a small little something (takes maybe 15-30 seconds to do), but it means a whole lot to me.

If possible go with him to his appointments with the sleep doctor.

Tell your partner that you love him multiple times a day.

[BlackSpinner]

Adjusting for me was putting on the mask, turning off the light and it seemed like instantly it was morning with no headache and more energy.
It can vary from one night to months of struggle.

[Maxie]

I recommend subscribing to robysue's blog and visiting here often as most of the issues you and/or your partner will encounter have been encountered and dealt with here.

[Gerald?]

It will also be some adjustment for you.

My wife spent years of sleeping next to the snoring tornado, hearing me stop breathing and then heard from my doctor the potential for death in the middle of the night due to sleep apnea.

The silence and calm that then followed when I was finally on CPAP was such that for the first few days, my wife kept poking me awake to make sure I was still alive! Don't do it! It's really annoying.

[IndyDave]

I've just finished my first week, and still haven't made the adjustment. Someone above said take it day by day. I'd amend that for the first week to say take it hour by hour. Yup, I took of the mask a couple of times that I don't remember, but I also took it off a few times on purpose. As I posted, it was feeling like i had walked into a door, the tip of my nose was sore from the pillow reservoir pushing against it. So sometimes I just have to take the mask off for a bit, but the next time I woke I'd put it back on. I'm using a nasal pillow, and my nostrils seem to fall right between the medium and large size pillows, so I was back and forth a lot a few nights swapping them around, before I settled on the medium. Now I seem to be adjusting to all that, though last night was an extreme off night for me. But that said, I still wake up and take the mask off, at least just to rub some feeling back into the tip of my nose.

So at this point my advice to both of you is be patient, and be persistent. If you can only tolerate the mask for 2 hours the first night, ok, but aim for 3 hours the next night. Probably the most surprising thing for me was how I'm feeling more tired during the day than pre-mask, just because its a different type of waking up, and I can see where that might discourage some people. To me the first "breakthrough" came Friday when I took the afternoon off, and was so tired, I took a nap, with the mask on, and slept for a solid 3 hours... the most Ive slept without waking in years.

One other thing that I think is helping me, since I have had trouble falling asleep before this is my MD gave me a prescription for valium for 3 weeks, to help me get to sleep and to help with any mask anxiety or claustrophobia. Yeah, valium sounds old school, but unlike modern anti-anxieties or sleep aids, it doesn't take a few weeks to become effective, and then a few weeks to wear off.

[Janknitz]

It is an adjustment for you, too. My DH invested in fleecy footie pj's and slept on the couch with the dog because he couldn't sleep through my snoring. I think the biggest adjustment for him was missing the dog. Seriously, you may find it hard while he's struggling at first too. Come here to vent rather than laying it on him, though. He needs your acceptance more than anything.

Adjustment can take one night or drag on for months. If your partner has a tough time, the best support is to listen and steer him here for help (if he will come here). We know the tricks and tips that will help.

And I second RobySue's suggestion not to forget to snuggle. "Spooning" is best because there's a steady airflow from the vents in the mask (to scrub out the CO2), and you probably don't want that blowing in your face. But the machine is pretty quiet, and a little snuggle fro is always appreciated. Other senses are reduced by the mask--smell, taste, ears may pop and the noise from the machine is conducted in the head, and sometimes people cover their eyes so the air doesn't leak in them. Having that physical contact really helps. It will help him relax and not feel self conscious with you.

[bikerchick]

Ditto to the other posts. Robysue pretty much summed it up. And good for you for supporting your partner.

[Janknitz]

I forgot one thing--once he's masked up its difficult to talk. Very frustrating when DH wants to chat! I try to let him drift off before I mask up.