New CPAP user serious Issue with feelings of depression and anxiety

[Chuckdb3684]

Hi everyone. New CPAP user here. Started therapy about a month back now. Was diagnosed with moderate apnea. I’m a larger guy 6’ 330lbs ( down from 395 last summer), but over all in decent health. Pretty busy job, but been handling it no problem for years now. Well I start on CPAP and I am hating how it has me feeling. I have not felt this depressed and anxious about EVERYTHING and I mean everything in years. I have my follow up with my sleep doc in 2 weeks and to be honest if this is how I am going to feel f..k this s..t! I have only taken meds once after a bad divorce over a decade ago, I do not want to take them if that is what CPAP therapy is going to do to me.

I know how you sleep has a lot to do with your brain and mood, that’s why I’m 100% sure this funk I am in is tied to the CPAP.

Any suggestions or help would be great!

[realshelby]

I know how you feel. My first week or so was hard to get used to......knowing I had to put a cpap mask on with a hose sticking out of it for the rest of my life!

Yet once I convinced myself that no one cared about what I looked like it got better.

The difference in how I felt as far as energy was significant. So as time went by I can tell you that anxiety and depression also improved.

Getting a mask that fits is a big deal. One that isn't too big seems to make you less anxious about having to wear it.

It is a chore to get everything right, but after many months I have no desire to not use it. The difference in how I feel make it worth using. I hope you can say that soon too!

[Chuckdb3684]

My funk and anxiety have zero to do with wearing the mask or set up. As far as the energy and being rested , yes I wake up and am instantly alert. The flip side was without CPAP I was usually awake and alert within a few minutes. I am not seeing any huge benefits that I can say are worth how I am feeling.

[jnk...]

Think of it this way. Do you think the best idea is to go through life unable to see or feel reality? Because that's what bad sleep does to you. Good sleep allows you to assess, to deal, and to adjust. Is it shocking to suddenly be able to see? Yes. Are feelings scary? Very often, yes. But choosing to go back to bad sleep is never the answer. It's like choosing to have the dirtiest windshield possible to keep from seeing the scary road ahead of us. Good sleep cleans off that windshield and makes it clear how we can be a better driver in our lives, no matter how anxious and low we are as we adjust.

Hormonally, your body has been making and burning a lot of panic juice to keep jarring you awake to keep you alive at night. When you first start getting good sleep, as in sleep in which you can actually breathe and heal at night, your body has a lot of panic juice left over that it doesn't know what to do with. It then looks for any excuse during the day to release the excess. (Oversimplified for clarity.) Keep getting the good sleep and keep letting your body adjust its hormones accordingly, if that is the process that has begun. And if that is what is happening, the roller coaster ride will start to level out in time if you stay the course. Until then, keep yourself firmly strapped into the roller coaster car and let the ride play out.

If the anxiety is not bearable, and the lows seem dangerously low, you very well may need some medical/professional help with keeping strapped in. (Some of us do. Some of us don't. No honor or dishonor either way with that.) But know that the feelings you describe may actually be an indication of coming great improvement in health and quality of life, even if it doesn't feel like it at first.

An alcoholic or drug addict does not enjoy the process of getting dry or clean. Similarly, a bad sleeper may not enjoy the process of getting better sleep. But it needs to be done, and it improves health and well-being in the process. It saves lives when people get dry, get clean, and get good sleep. But if they judge whether to do it based on how much pain they will need to endure to get there, they can easily talk themselves out of doing exactly what needs most to get done.

I am not a pro. Just some guy on the Internet.

[jpop]

Hey Chuck,

Can you post some of the results of your sleep study and where therapy has taken you? There is a range of things that can make us feel depressed and cause anxiety, so it's difficult to frame without knowing what therapy has changed. I too have been presented with these challenges of depression yet I was always waking up alert even in the worst of days. For me, it was low O2 saturation when I slept that caused a huge issue and the clarity I had when beginning therapy. It certainly peeled back a layer of the old onion and I had to change some things in my routine to adjust.

[nicholasjh1]

I had a lot of anxiety and wierd feelings, burst of heart rate etc as my body was kicking back into regular gear. The body can be so depressed when off cpap, that it's just in this state of blase. Once my adrenals adjusted I felt just fine. Exercise helps, I had to supplement with magnesium for a while to make sure my heart wasn't over active, and it's shown that magnesium is low in many apniacs (probably due to over using it).

[kteague]

If you are a danger to yourself or are non functional, please do consider getting some temporary help. Otherwise, I suggest you take some "housekeeping" first steps, practice healthy habits, and look forward to better times ahead.

One of those first steps is to be sure your treatment is actually therapeutic based on data from your machine. A night in the sleep lab is sometimes not enough time to really dial in your needs. My early treatment was not effective and my machine had no data to let me see that, so I suffered greatly until things were later dialed in.

If you are on any meds (and maybe even some supplements) consider that the dosing that may have worked for a body imbalanced by untreated sleep apnea may not be what is needed as you adjust and are stabilized.

During this recovery period is a good time to be extra kind to yourself. Just like with any trauma to the body, rest and sleep expedite healing. Good nutrition promotes healing. Allow yourself to feel the need for a bit of extra sleep without pressure to perform at the same level as perhaps another time. I don't know that my experience is the same as yours, but I'm not the only one who has reported a sense of collapse after starting treatment. After pushing so hard to fight the good fight during years of sleep deprivation, once I leaned into the treatment, it was like all my strength gave way. Took a while to rebound, but I did. I remember the exact day I awoke and saw the sun shining through the windows, got out of bed and opened the door to lean out into the warmth, and felt like going out and enjoying the day. That feeling had become a vague memory, but was soon restablished in my daily life. Hope you experience your turnaround soon.

[dogsarelife]

If you are on any meds (and maybe even some supplements) consider that the dosing that may have worked for a body imbalanced by untreated sleep apnea may not be what is needed as you adjust and are stabilized.


I don't know that my experience is the same as yours, but I'm not the only one who has reported a sense of collapse after starting treatment. After pushing so hard to fight the good fight during years of sleep deprivation, once I leaned into the treatment, it was like all my strength gave way. Took a while to rebound, but I did. I remember the exact day I awoke and saw the sun shining through the windows, got out of bed and opened the door to lean out into the warmth, and felt like going out and enjoying the day.

To the opening poster, these are two very good pieces of advice, along with of course, downloading sleepyhead and getting your pressures optimized as others have said.

Honestly all the advice dispensed to you is spot on, it's just that the words of kteague that I quoted resonate with me the most for where I am in treatment right now.

But yes, I had a feeling of collapse as I leaned into treatment, and I suspect that's some of what you are going through as well? and just all the these hormones around your body getting a shock. the "newbie needing success stories thread" attests to the shock that people's bodies go through.

It might be helpful to get a therapist who understands the nature of chronic illness to help you process all of the feelings that are coming up around such a major diagnosis and as all the hormones sort of settle back into place.

Good luck.

[jnk...]

. . . two very good pieces of advice . . . the words of kteague that I quoted . . .

I find every sentence she types to be absolutely golden, myself. She has been a great help to me in ways that she likely has no idea that she has been to me over the years.

[SleepyGamer]

Chuckdb3684,

I'm only a few months into CPAP myself and find aspects of it to be stressful. The recommended cleaning schedule. The cost of equipment and regular supplies and some pushy DME's will try to keep you on the schedule that provides them with the most profit. The thought of strapping this stupid POS to my face for the rest of this life. I'm still not over the hump to where I feel fully rested nor am I comfortably getting to sleep at night. However, I do see a positive light at the end of the tunnel that I don't fight to stay awake all afternoon every day like I did before.

However, if you are feeling depressed, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE find a professional to talk to. A good therapist will not immediately try to throw drugs at the problem and will help you identify and address the source(s). Maybe it is somehow your sleep therapy, but maybe it's something else and your brain is just aware of the feelings because it's more rested now, maybe it's a short phase. Maybe CPAP is the final straw just because of it being a commitment and new chores. I'm not suggesting any of these trying to pretend to be a therapist, but I do really beg you to talk to someone. Even if it's only a temporary feeling until you become even more rested and move to the other side if it, you'll have established a contact you can use if you encounter the feelings again.

[Chuckdb3684]

I have called my Dr today and left a message (got to love the fact you never get to actually speak to anyone these days) so waiting to hear back. I am tracking my info with the ResMed app, it’s showing I’m having only 1 or 2 events an hour on the 8 psi constant pressure that the Doc set me up at.
As far as meds I am only on phentermine, a multi vitamin, a work out supplement and topermite all of which I l’ve been taking since November with no issue. I’m hoping to hear back from the doctor today cuz while I’m not in a risky place just the funk, anxiety, and Irritability are really just dragging everything down.

I am glad though to hear that this isn’t just me and that others have dealt with it as well. Thanks to everyone for chiming in.

[jnk...]

When we start getting better sleep, drugs and supplements may need dosage adjustments in order to prevent unwanted side effects. Especially can that be so for drugs and substances known to have a significant effect on sleep and mood as common side effects for many. And timing of the dose can start to matter more too. There may need to be some adjustments and some work put into getting a few things in balance. I found it to be well worth it over time. Please take full advantage of this board for help. Or to vent. Feel free to see the threads on how to post machine data, as has been mentioned.

[Chuckdb3684]

Well a bit of a unsatisfying update. Got in to see my pulmonologist that put me on the CPAP, and I honestly felt like he brushed of my concerns as he immediately went to the medications I am taking for weight loss. Yes what I am feeling is listed as a possible side effect, but hell just about every drug out there list every thing as side effects, and I have been taking it without issue since Oct. So Made a follow up when my gp to see what her opinion is as I do not want to come of the medication unless it is really the culprit as losing the weight is something very important to me ( 60 down since November)

[katestyles]

Well a bit of a unsatisfying update. Got in to see my pulmonologist that put me on the CPAP, and I honestly felt like he brushed of my concerns as he immediately went to the medications I am taking for weight loss. Yes what I am feeling is listed as a possible side effect, but hell just about every drug out there list every thing as side effects, and I have been taking it without issue since Oct. So Made a follow up when my gp to see what her opinion is as I do not want to come of the medication unless it is really the culprit as losing the weight is something very important to me ( 60 down since November)

Losing weight is a good thing to do - The doc should have been supportive of your weight loss.

[TahoeGal]

You are doing well with the weight loss! Way to go!
I think topiramate can make your potassium levels low and maybe magnesium too. I totally agree that your body will change when you finally get proper rest- and it will change as you lose weight. You may need to adjust your meds/supplements. Did your mood change happen when you started a new bottle of one of your supplements or Rx? Or a different manufacturer? There could be a difference in the lot...
Hang in there, see your gp or a different specialist. Talk to a friend. I can't imagine how I lived thru life before xpap.
El.