New CPAP user, and embarassed

[firedude81]

Hi all. I am new to this whole sleep apnea thing. I had a sleep study recently that showed I had minor osa while sleeping on my side and moderate osa while sleeping on my back. Fast forward two weeks after my study and my doctor told me I had two options, either loose weight ( i am not obese in a clinical sense but I do need to loose about 30-40 pounds) and retest in about 6 months or lose weight and go on a cpap machine. Being ambitious and having decent insurance I chose both routes. I have been on my cpap a few days now and I guess the hardest thing is the embarrassment that goes along with wearing the nasal mask. I feel weird and embarrassed when my wife looks at me with it on and what it can do to our intimacy (we are both 35). I guess I feel akin to being a teenager with braces or a retainer. I know this will help me out in the long run but it is also just about getting over the mental hurdle. Also, I want to wear it at work (I am a firefighter) when I go to bed but I am kinda ashamed to bring it with me for again just being embarrassed about having to wear it. I am just looking for some advice or thoughts on this matter. Thanks to all who reply.

[kteague]

Hi. Feeling awkward the first time someone sees us wearing the gear is not unusual. Hopefully once the newness wears off so will the awkwardness. Were you a snorer before? If so, I would think anyone who has has heard that would be glad to see you take steps to resolve it. Have you asked your wife how she feels about it? At least it's something that doesn't have to go on until it's time to sleep. Best wishes in adjusting.

[metsfan302]

There are skinny foke's that need to use cpap/bi-pap etc.... The newness/feeling you have should subside quickly and it will become just another routine to you. The wife will see the improvement it has in your Health and Life as will your co-workers at the fire company. I am sure many of them or family also use cpap and if not they should be more understanding about it. I look at it like its medically necessary - I do not make fun of friends who are diabetic or need to take cholesterol drugs daily etc and well just see pap as the same. Good luck and this is a wicked good forum / group of people willing to answer even the oddest questions or get more in-depth then any Doctor can, could and would trust me on that one.

Have a great Christmas / Holiday!!

[MrsRinPDX]

Please, don't be embarrassed! I know it's not a fashion forward statement but think of the alternatives of not treating your sleep apnea: heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, death. Real, possible and proven. Not to mention falling asleep at the wheel and being more accident prone. In your line of work, being mentally sharp and focused is necessary to saving lives beside your own!

I'm sure your wife loves you greatly and if she isn't already aware of the benefits of treatment, gently educate her. Educate yourself too. Hang out in the forum. Ask questions. The awkwardness of wearing the mask quickly fades as you get used to it. And by all means, take the steps necessary to extend your life. It's that serious.

All the best,
MrsRinPDX

[metsfan302]

What she said above

[Sheriff Buford]

Hopefully, your wife truly loves you. If she does, she will know cpap is for your health.... so you'll be around for a long time. Once you truly love someone, stuff like this doesn't manner.

Sheriff

[Cardsfan]

I felt the same way you do now when I first started. I know it is tough. Just stick with it and once you start feeling better, you won't want to sleep without it, I promise. I was so embarrassed that I slept with my head under the covers to "hide", and we had been married for 20 yrs. It just takes some time for yourself to get used to it, and it will become routine and something you hardly even notice. Your true friends will be glad you are getting help. And your wife married you for "in sickness and in health". Give them the chance to support you. I was surprised, my husband even volunteered to help when we travel- he carries my machine, sets it up, tears it down and packs it up for the road trips. I told him "I can use some help if you want to try"- and he stepped up to the plate. You have to be willing to give them a chance.

Merry Christmas.-- It gets better.

[chunkyfrog]

You already wear a mask at work when in a smoky environment.
Your cpap mask is no less essential equipment--it keeps you sleeping at your best.
Take care of yourself in order to do the same for others.
Be bold and OWN your therapy.
You may be leading the way for others whose lives may be saved by it.

[TASmart]

I and other here have noted an increase in male virility when getting ful and restful sleep. You wife may end up insisting you wear the mask for sleeping because of performance improvements elsewhere.

[Wulfman...]

Hi all. I am new to this whole sleep apnea thing. I had a sleep study recently that showed I had minor osa while sleeping on my side and moderate osa while sleeping on my back. Fast forward two weeks after my study and my doctor told me I had two options, either loose weight ( i am not obese in a clinical sense but I do need to loose about 30-40 pounds) and retest in about 6 months or lose weight and go on a cpap machine. Being ambitious and having decent insurance I chose both routes. I have been on my cpap a few days now and I guess the hardest thing is the embarrassment that goes along with wearing the nasal mask. I feel weird and embarrassed when my wife looks at me with it on and what it can do to our intimacy (we are both 35). I guess I feel akin to being a teenager with braces or a retainer. I know this will help me out in the long run but it is also just about getting over the mental hurdle. Also, I want to wear it at work (I am a firefighter) when I go to bed but I am kinda ashamed to bring it with me for again just being embarrassed about having to wear it. I am just looking for some advice or thoughts on this matter. Thanks to all who reply.

Do you wear an air-pak when you're fighting fires? (I was a former volunteer firefighter).
Why do you wear one? TO SAVE YOUR LIFE AND TO KEEP YOU BREATHING!
That's the same reason you/we wear these devices.
There are (have been) many firefighters on this forum over the years.
You should NOT be "embarrassed" by wearing something that's going to save your life. Try to get over that.
This therapy will "keep your hose stiff".......

Den

.

[AMK]

Firedude, if you are matter-of-fact about it then others will take their cue from you. Or you could tell them that you're hoping to be a pilot in the next Star Wars movie. With your wife, you don't have to put your mask on the moment you get into bed, just before you go to sleep, if you see what I mean. If your wife understands that by starting cpap treatment at a pretty young age you will be way ahead of the game in terms of preventing some serious conditions then I would think she would adapt to it happily.

If you're up to it, using your cpap at the station could get some of the others talking about apnea. Odds are someone else there has it and doesn't know it yet.

[sleepinow]

I'm 26 and I don't give a crap if anyone knows that I sleep with a mask on. This is for my health, if anyone has a problem with it they can kiss my butt!

[firedude81]

Thanks to all of you who replied. You all are very helpful and considerate and I appreciate all of your advice!

[ajack]

you shouldn't have to feel embarrassed, tell her to go sleep on the lounge. This way you can get a good nights sleep.

[jnk...]

Nothing is more appreciated by a loving wife than a husband who is taking care of his health. And nothing is more appreciated by fellow firemen in a house than a fireman who doesn't snore and who will be focused and dependable in life-threatening circumstances on the job. Your donning the mask represents your being the undisputed hero in both of those storylines at home and at work. We wear the mask as a demonstration of how much we care for the people around us who depend on our being alive and functional as much as for our own benefit. Who knows how many of your fellow firemen will be more comfortable bringing their own machine to the house when they see you with yours.

Good topic and post, man. Thanks for what you do.