Can't Sleep in same room as Hubby

PrincessSponge · Post by **PrincessSponge** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 8:05 pm

I have had sleep apnea for over 4 years and the first machine I had I took to it like a duck. Got use to both machine and mask in one night but after 3 years my machine started to get loud and keep my hubby up at night so last June I got a new machine that is super quiet but he still complains. He told me that ear plugs just fall out and I should sleep in another room. So what do I do now?

NyNurse33 · Post by **NyNurse33** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 8:13 pm

You should wear the earplugs so you don't hear him complain. LOL, just kidding. My husband works until 3 am Mon-Fri, so I guess I'm lucky that by the time he gets into bed, he is so darn tired, he could care less. But my machine is super quiet, you can't even hear it. And so far the masks I've used aren't loud either. But I also have an oscillating fan on in our bedroom still (bad habit I keep until a few months after summer is over), so maybe that drowns out the noise. If your machine is quiet, what is he complaining about? Tell him how important this therapy is for your health, your well-being and even your relationship and maybe he'll understand. I think your snoring or worse yet the possible outcome of leaving OSA untreated could give him much more problems sleeping than trying to adapt to your treatment. Good luck!!

Goofproof · Post by **Goofproof** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 8:17 pm

I would say that's a sign of other problems. That's a petty thing to complain about, if that's the worst thing life throws at him, he will be lucky.

He doesn't have a noise problem, he's got a grow up problem. He's right, ear plugs won't help his problem. Jim

Keep using your machine, however or where ever you have to. Maybe you can replace him with a quieter Model.

Wulfman · Post by **Wulfman** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 8:20 pm

As Melissa asked, what is he complaining about now?
Is it the noise of the machine, mask or are you still snoring?
If you could list your equipment, pressure, etc. maybe we can offer some ideas.

Best wishes,

Den

DreamStalker · Post by **DreamStalker** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 8:45 pm

Some hot glue ought to keep those ear plugs in ... just kidding.

Unfortunately, there may be other problems because as others mentioned that is a petty thing to complain about when you consider that the PAP treatment keeps you alive.

Sorry I was unable to offer anything more positve ... but what ever you do, don't stop using your machine on account of it.

- roberto

PrincessSponge · Post by **PrincessSponge** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 8:46 pm

He complains about everything. I run the humidifier too much in the winter, the AC is bothering him, the TV is too loud when he goes to bed. But when I try to ask him what it is that is making the loud noise (i.e. am I snoring or opening my mouth after I fall asleep) he can't give me a straight answer. I know sometimes my ComfortLite 2 mask will make noise after I fall asleep but I don't use that mask very much. Yes he complains, but has others complained about this problem that you are OK when you fall asleep, but once asleep, the problems start. They can't find the problem when I went in for a new sleep test.

PrincessSponge · Post by **PrincessSponge** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 8:50 pm

My machine is a Fisher & Paykel ThermaSmart HC640 My mask are ComfortLite 2 and ComfortGel Mask. My setting is at 12. Any help?

Goofproof · Post by **Goofproof** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 8:52 pm

It sounds like his whiner, is wound to tight. Lock him out on the porch until he winds down. Or when he falls asleep, Van Gogh, him! Na! Better not, that's not legal. Jim

NyNurse33 · Post by **NyNurse33** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 8:53 pm

Since I started using comfortlite 2 ( 3 nights ago), my husband has said that 1. he felt the air on him 2. it was a little more louder than my other mask. Well the CL2 has a different export than the Ultra Mirage 2 and I have had problems with the seal coming lose, when on full pressure can be a little noisy. But if you check out Rested Gal's helpful hints to keep the seal, maybe that will help. I myself, like this mask too much to give up on it yet. The nose pillows do not lose their seal (for me) and I will either use the techniques RG has suggested or use the pillows. But he wasn't complaining, b/c if he does he feel more than the cool air on him! J/K, I just know I have to do what I have to do for me and in the end he does benefit from me feeling better. Maybe there are other things going on in your husband's life and you are just the target for him right now.

Wulfman · Post by **Wulfman** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 9:04 pm

Some people just aren't happy unless they have something to complain about.

There's not much you can do about the exhaust (vent) air that comes out of your mask, but some things to consider might be:

Make sure your machine is below head/bed level so as to limit the sound of the machine traveling across the bed.
Mouth taping or using Poligrip adhesive strips to keep your mouth sealed to prevent air leaks (which also diminishes your therapy).

Beyond that, as the others have said, don't give up on your therapy.....even if it means one of you moving to another bedroom.

Good luck and best wishes,

Den

seenas · Post by **seenas** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 9:41 pm

We all need to make adjustments and compromise when we are married. There are no perfect marriages (no partner is perfect), but there are a lot of good marriages, based upon respect and love for each other. When my husband and I said our vows we did not say obey but we did say for better and for worse.
I recognize that your husband is very important to you as is mine. But, you need to ask yourself what is the underlying problem for his whining.
You might consider counseling for the both of you.

Never forget that you need this therapy and without it you can be compromising your health.
Seena

Lyn · Post by **Lyn** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 11:22 pm

PrincessSponge wrote:I have had sleep apnea for over 4 years and the first machine I had I took to it like a duck. Got use to both machine and mask in one night but after 3 years my machine started to get loud and keep my hubby up at night so last June I got a new machine that is super quiet but he still complains. He told me that ear plugs just fall out and I should sleep in another room. So what do I do now?

Nothing. Just go to bed as you would normally do & if he has a problem with it, let HIM go sleep in the other room.

I agree with the others. He has other problems & he's just using this as an excuse for something else to complain about.

Lyn

preemiern · Post by **preemiern** » Sun Sep 10, 2006 12:05 am

Well-you could get rid of the hubby and get a puppy--my sweet little girl curls up by my head, and doesn't complain at all about the machine or anything else for that matter--LOL!!

MandoJohnny · Post by **MandoJohnny** » Sun Sep 10, 2006 8:05 am

Here is MandoJohnny's patented, 100% successful cure for this situation. All you need to do is "self-titrate" through the following progression. Stop at whatever level you get relief:

1. Heart-to-heart conversation
2. Marriage counseling
3. Divorce proceedings
4. The pool boy (or equivalent)

Of course, this is easy for me to say. I have been happily married for 28 years and my wonderful wife has adjusted to my CPAP very well. As she says, "It took a few nights to get used to the noise, but we are talking about breathing here. Breathing is important!" Serously, I agree, there are deeper issues here.

Missy · Post by **Missy** » Sun Sep 10, 2006 8:09 am

Here's my thought on the subject-Out to the doghouse with him.

Machine	Mask

Can't Sleep in same room as Hubby

Can't Sleep in same room as Hubby

Re: Can't Sleep in same room as Hubby