Advice on how to tell my nephew he should be tested fir OSA

[bettiola]

My nephew is in his late 40's, snores loudly, is heavy, and complains of being sleepy all the time. OSA runs in the family - I have it, one of my brother's has it, and my niece (sister of my nephew) has it. I've mentioned two or three times it would be a good idea for him to talk to his doctor about it and get tested. He says he'll mention it to his doctor, but then doesn't follow up on it. His sister has also mentioned it to him. Neither of us wants to be considered a nag (and he can be touchy). I'd like to send him a link to one of those online questionnaires that determine if you should be tested, as a first step. Can any of you recommend a good one and any suggestions about how to approach this?
Thanks!

[Bill44133]

My nephew is in his late 40's, snores loudly, is heavy, and complains of being sleepy all the time. OSA runs in the family - I have it, one of my brother's has it, and my niece (sister of my nephew) has it. I've mentioned two or three times it would be a good idea for him to talk to his doctor about it and get tested. He says he'll mention it to his doctor, but then doesn't follow up on it. His sister has also mentioned it to him. Neither of us wants to be considered a nag (and he can be touchy). I'd like to send him a link to one of those online questionnaires that determine if you should be tested, as a first step. Can any of you recommend a good one and any suggestions about how to approach this?
Thanks!

I would show him this youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gie2dhqP2c

This video put the whole thing in perspective for me. It might influence him to go get tested.

Good Luck!

[rohdej]

The questioners i think don't work that well. If you answered the questions about him and he answered the questions about him self they would look very different!

For me it was doesn't everybody like to sleep in on the weekend?( i could sleep 12-18 hrs). Doesn't every body get sleepy at night?( Twice a week i would pull over half way home in a 10 mile trip from work to walk around the car) Wife would say i snored like a freight train and would stop breathing for 25 seconds. ( I'd say you snore too!)

It wasn't till the frequent trips to the bathroom (Nocturia) after bed time and not making it more and more that i finally decided that I needed to figure it out and finally get tested.

I was in drowning in the river of Denial!

Just keep asking him about headaches in the morning, Who caught you sleeping at work this week? Why are you falling asleep at every family gathering? Are you wetting the bed yet? (This one may shut him down, But it is the one I talk about my self doing the most, because people think Cpap is shame full. No, wetting the bed because I am an idiot is shameful!)

Talk about your Cpap machine like you would a new car with the other users in your family. How your life has changed sense you started. Let him hear the rest of the relatives experiences. Get your self some backup! let him hear that it is possible to feel better.

[TASmart]

You have mentioned it multiple times, and he has decided not to address it. HE has made his choice, leave it be. If on the other hand, he mentions some kind of issue, you can let him know how well you xPAP solved that issue for you.

[bettiola]

Thank you Bill, Rohdej and TASmart - different perspectives and all valuable to ponder! Bill, I will check out the link, thank you, and thank you Rohdej for sharing your experience and good suggestions. Thank you, TASmart, i understand what you're saying, people need to make their own decisions, you can't make them for them, but I'm not quite ready to give up on him yet.

[HannaJ]

Does death scare him? One of the techs at my supply store told of her father and uncle who both died young because they were too macho to get checked for apnea. Also, it seems that we now know why people sleep. At least one reason is that, during certain phases of sleep, the brain cleans itself of debris and detritus produced by its daytime activity. If this debris is not cleaned up, it builds up and various sorts of dementia result, including Alzheimer's disease. I'm sure a more-detailed and accurate explanation is available in various places, but a man in his 40s should righteously fear developing early Alzheimer's or another neurodegenerative disorder that gradually reduces him to a helpless and totally dependent person suffering great bouts of negative emotion, and slowly losing his mind. If wetting the bed isn't scary enough, maybe this would be. Educational videos can be hard to stick with. I'd look for personal stories of loved ones lost unnecessarily because they were too stubborn or lazy or macho to go to the doctor. Or maybe stories from sufferers themselves who are facing a terrifying future.

If scare tactics don't work, nagging probably won't either. He has to decide for himself. He also has to care enough about himself to take care of himself. I hope he comes around.

[Holden4th]

I would suggest guilt as a motivator. If he is a responsible citizen and also a driver then he needs to know that eventually he might have an accident that could maim or kill someone else.