Post
by Guest » Mon Jul 31, 2006 4:10 am
Bill,
When I first started visiting this forum a few months ago, I considered you to be a "success story" - living large in spite of sleep apnea. I came here quite desperate, looking for hope that life could possibly improve. It's been a hard road, but two things have helped turn my zombie state around and I believe could help some others. First, give your body and brain whatever it needs to heal. Secondly, consider medications that can help clear the head until the brain has healed. That will mean something different to each person - for me it was a no-other-choice decision to call time out on all obligations and cater to my body's needs that saved my life. Figure out what that means to you; below is how that looked for me for those who like stories. Otherwise skip it.
Since my sleep seemed best between 4am and 9am, and I needed naps after every few waking minutes, for the first time in 54 years of living I put me first and essentially went into hibernation. Lost my career, lost my retirement, lost all income, lost my insurance - SAVED MY LIFE.
I had taken a nose dive in my functionality and cognitive abilities, and over a year's time my (mis)management of two departments in a large non-profit threatened to sink the ship. I told the CEO six months prior "If I was any kind of manager I would fire myself." But he believed in the me I used to be - sharp, on top of things - and waited for me to get a grip. But after fighting multiple sleep disorders for 10 diagnosed and many prior years, it wasn't going to happen. I could literally feel myself - my life - slipping away. I gave a one month notice before taking my entire 5 weeks time bank off, but feared I wouldn't survive till then. I was indescribably utterly depleted, praying for the strength to put one foot in front of the other each one more time. In the end I relinquished my job to allow myself time to heal. My crash was long (over 2 months) and hard, but gradually I began to pay off my sleep debt (wish I could say that for my other debts - no income is no joke). Taking Provigil helped keep me awake a little, but taking Concerta has done wonders for the brain fog. Oh, I'm still a mess, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Oh my - that was unintentional but so appropriate! That was a micro nap. But as I was saying, my brain feels more like the old me than it has in years. To all those in a fog - don't give up hope.
Kathy