Spouse Just Diagnosed

[cflame1]

So glad you posted Dori... not many on here have the perspective you do

We're probably an older couple than you are but nevertheless we have a very close, loving relationship. I was totally shocked when he put his full face mask on and after 5 years I still can't imagine having to wear that thing every night. What's even worse, I'm the caregiver for his therapy because he's disabled and can't manage himself. What got me through the first few months were 2 things, the fact that he had someting that could be treated and he wouldn't die on me from some terrible disease, and the second was that I knew without a doubt that if it was reversed and it was me wearing that mask, he would still think I was beautiful and not give it a second thought. Now with his quality of life so much improved I'm really grateful for his "girlfriend he sleeps with"(his words). If your feelings run too deep to be changed with time then you'll have to get some professional advice. If you can see this through you'll have a better husband with more energy, good health and companionship that's probably been missing without you even realizing it. Good luck and keep us posted.

[DoriC]

[quote="cflame1"]So glad you posted Dori... not many on here have the perspective you do

Unfortunately that's true. It's not always easy and today is one of those days! I should never post here when I'm tired.

[LisaSch]

I would say, watch out..now that hubby is truly rested your sex life is about to improve. Unless, of course, you are not wanting more intimacy...he does not need to put the mask on until you are done with intimate things...if you are used to cuddling more at night well, that might change...I had to have a mastectomy rebuild last year and I am glad my husband did not run screaming from the room when he helped me clean my drains...I am one lucky woman...now I have to wear a mask and well we are closer than ever...

[BobHale]

Perris,

I have been married 35 years. This is nothing compared to what you 2 will go through in your life together. Fortunately this problem in your lives requires your husband to wear a device to enable him to breathe normally during the night but it comes off during the day. There will be problems that do not get left hanging on the bed post in the morning. Some will by your problem and some will be your husband's.

I do really dislike the look of the mask I need to wear at night. I am not happy about being dependent on a device just to be able to sleep. My wife's back issues require her to use a cane and walk hunched over. I'm sure she would rather walk normally. We have however found that neither of these and other issues changed who we are. While they force changes to our lives and relationship we adapt.

Life is constant change, like it or not. The time has come to grow up a bit and adapt.

Bob