OT: Daily Funny bone

[ChicagoGranny]

[chearyshe]

OH! Please please please! One more joke and then I'll let it rest! this is a

SENIOR MOMENT!



He was a widower and she a widow.They had known each other for a number of years being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail.

This 60th anniversary of their class, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles.They had a wonderful evening, their spirits high.
The widower throwing admiring glances across the table. The widow smiling coyly back at him.

Finally, he picked up courage to ask her "Will you marry me?"

After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes,..... yes I will!"

The evening ended on a happy note for the widower. But the next morning he was troubled. Did she say Yes or did she say No? He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over the conversation of the previous
evening, but his mind was blank.

He remembered asking the question but for the life of him he could not recall her response. With fear and trepidation
he picked up the phone and called her.

First, he explained that he couldn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening. As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her. "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say Yes or did you say No?

"Why you silly man, I said Yes. Yes I will. And I meant it with all my heart."

The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat.

Then she continued. "And I am so glad you called because I couldn't remember who asked me!






__._,_.___

[ChicagoGranny]

Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn’t seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their “Older Person Friendly” policies.

One day the boss called him into the office for a talk.

“Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job when you finally get here; but your being late so often is quite bothersome.”

“Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it.”

“Well good, you are a team player. That’s what I like to hear.”

“Yes sir, I understand your concern and I’ll try harder.”

Seeming puzzled, the manager went on to comment, “It’s odd though your coming in late. I know you’re retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say to you there if you showed up in the morning so late and so often?”

The old man looked down at the floor, then smiled.

He chuckled quietly, then said with a grin, “They usually saluted and said, ‘Good morning, General, can I get your coffee, sir?’”

[ChicagoGranny]

[chearyshe]

You may have seen a different version of this joke, but I was not about to let is stay FEMALE! You men also have problems too!
cheary!



While examining his male patient, the doctor says: "Your heart, lungs, pulse & BP are fine. Now let me see

that cute little thing which gets you men into all kinds of trouble."

The man immediately started taking off his clothes.....

The doctor, stopping him said: "No! No! Please put on your clothes.
Just show me your tongue."

[poppi2]

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. 'Human beings are the only animals that stutter,' she says.

A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.'

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

'Well,' she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!'

'That must've been scary,' said the teacher.

'It sure was,' said the little girl. 'My kitty raised her back, went 'Sssss, Sssss, Sssss' and before she could say 'Sh*t,' the Rottweiler ate her!'

The teacher had to leave the room.

[123.Shawn T.W.]

When you teach a pig Karate ... You get a ... Pork Chop!

[ChicagoGranny]

... and now for something a little different ...

[ChicagoGranny]

... would like to have a full face mask painted on.

[ChicagoGranny]

[lazer]

True! +1

[ChicagoGranny]

Well of course!

[ChicagoGranny]

[SilverAnn]

One of my students told me this one, I thought it was hilarious. Perhaps that says something about me...

What does a cigarette and a squirrel have in common?

They are both perfectly harmless until you stick it in your mouth and light it on fire.

Ann

[chunkyfrog]

Some Eastern Europeans kiss EVERY family member on the mouth.
You can tell Baba is losing her memory when she slips you a little tongue.