I hate CPAP.

DynoDad · Post by **DynoDad** » Wed Apr 25, 2012 3:39 pm

nanwilson wrote:13 replies by Dynodad in the last 2 pages.......hummmmmmm sounds like Dynodad prefers to get an argument going instead of just bowing out gracefully once he's made his point.

Not really, I thought I'd leave the thread alone for a while to see if common sense prevailed, but I got fed up with all the hate coming my way. I thought I'd try again and see if I could get my point understood, but I'm wasting my time - your mind is already made up, and you don't even try to understand my perspective. And you do so in the name of helping people

chunkyfrog · Post by **chunkyfrog** » Wed Apr 25, 2012 3:54 pm

I've tried going without for a ten minute nap.
Ugh, headache. I hate that worse.

Elle · Post by **Elle** » Wed Apr 25, 2012 3:59 pm

Dynodad, don't judge the forum based on a few angry posts. Stick around and get to know the personalities and some posts won't surprise you. Most are very helpful, knowledgeable and especially welcoming.

You'd be better off checking out some of the other threads and leaving this one alone now that you have made your point I think ....just to get a good balance.

Julie · Post by **Julie** » Wed Apr 25, 2012 4:04 pm

DD - you have a pm.

DynoDad · Post by **DynoDad** » Wed Apr 25, 2012 4:04 pm

Elle wrote:Dynodad, don't judge the forum based on a few angry posts. Stick around and get to know the personalities and some posts won't surprise you. Most are very helpful, knowledgeable and especially welcoming.

Yes, absolutely. I had some great help here when I started out and was struggling to make it work at all (initially I had the wrong size mask, so not a great start!)

I know it doesn't seem like that to those who disagree with me, but I actually wanted to help people too.

ems · Post by **ems** » Wed Apr 25, 2012 6:26 pm

DynoDad wrote:I know it doesn't seem like that to those who disagree with me, but I actually wanted to help people too.

I get it. I know you did! However, on an internet forum there are all types of people. My thoughts: take what works for you and leave the rest.

PS Are your initials ~ems~ also?

Edit: girl here... +lots of years

BlackSpinner · Post by **BlackSpinner** » Wed Apr 25, 2012 6:49 pm

DynoDad wrote:
I know it doesn't seem like that to those who disagree with me, but I actually wanted to help people too.

You don't help people by emphasizing the negatives of their treatment.
You don't help people telling them to waste energy on hate.
You don't help people by starting troll type threads that create dissension.

Oh and you can critique my writing and spelling when ever you want if it helps your smallness feel bigger. It is sometimes hard to switch between 3 languages as you probably know since you are such an expert.

SleepingUgly · Post by **SleepingUgly** » Wed Apr 25, 2012 7:02 pm

Everyone here needs to put things in perspective. It's not like you had your physical therapist work on your lower back today, only to discover later that your underwear was on inside out. Hypothetically speaking, that is.

BlackSpinner · Post by **BlackSpinner** » Wed Apr 25, 2012 7:28 pm

SleepingUgly wrote:Everyone here needs to put things in perspective. It's not like you had your physical therapist work on your lower back today, only to discover later that your underwear was on inside out. Hypothetically speaking, that is.

No I am more concerned whether Mom likes her new Depends and how I am going to get a scooter, a wheelchair and the two old people into the car for the doctors appointment tomorrow. They both need to sit in the one front seat - WHY did they book the appointments together? WHY??? And the old guy will want to drive and it is too far for him......

Julie · Post by **Julie** » Wed Apr 25, 2012 9:17 pm

Sounds to me like it's time for you to begin to take charge... if for no other reason than the driving arrangements sound kind of dangerous.

Did you try to get the appts switched or was it really too late?

Then again, I don't think you're shy and probably will have them all organized in no time.

How are you settling in otherwise?

BlackSpinner · Post by **BlackSpinner** » Wed Apr 25, 2012 9:36 pm

Julie wrote:Sounds to me like it's time for you to begin to take charge... if for no other reason than the driving arrangements sound kind of dangerous.

Did you try to get the appts switched or was it really too late?

Then again, I don't think you're shy and probably will have them all organized in no time.

How are you settling in otherwise?

I got home from shopping and my sister said "Oh the doctors office called and left a message that she wants to see dad too, you are to bring him along tomorrow"

We have a bathtub in the bathroom now! Hooked up to the drain that goes to the sewer system, but not yet to water. But it is better then a muddy trench in the basement.

newbee2cpap · Post by **newbee2cpap** » Tue Jun 12, 2012 12:47 pm

I hate exercising, just gotta do it. I hate prostate examinations, but just gotta do it. I love CPAP, I don't gotta do it, but I so hate falling asleep while driving.

kaiasgram · Post by **kaiasgram** » Tue Jun 12, 2012 1:46 pm

Hello Dyno, I must say I'm shocked to see some of the replies you got to your original post. I'm in my first couple of weeks on this forum and new to the diagnosis and to CPAP -- I've had a ton of distress and I've received a great deal of compassionate help and support from the forum folks. So I was blown away by some of the unkind and sarcastic replies you received.

Fellow forum members, sometimes we need practical tips and help, and other times we just need empathy. I saw DynoDad's post as seeking empathy, that's all. Since we all to one degree or another have found apnea and/or its treatment to be an unwelcome addition to our lives, why would anyone be so hard on someone who's just giving a personal voice to how it can feel? Obviously he's sticking to the therapy so he didn't need to be told how foolish and dire it would be if he wasn't. I also don't believe he needs to be told how he OUGHT to be feeling right now. Grieving about what you've lost is actually a healthy human response as long as you don't take up permanent residence there. But what a lot of people don't understand is that the way to more grace and acceptance is to move through the grief, anger, sadness, etc., with support and empathy from others, to be real with others and with yourself about all the "dark" feelings you experience, and THEN you can move through it and open to a new relationship with whatever it is life has handed you, and maybe even with some humor.

DynoDad, last night, only my 4th night on CPAP, I thought and felt almost every single thing you mentioned as I neared bedtime. I too am hating everything about what I'm going through, and I can't even say I'm starting to feel better yet. So please know that many of us do feel empathy for you. In my therapy practice I see people who live in victim mode and the negative consequences of that, but I also see people who try to live in "suck it up and deal with it" mode and I see the unhealthy consequences that can have on people too, including consequences to their physical health. So as Janknitz said in her post, it's ok to feel what you're feeling right now, you're on a journey with this sleep apnea thing and you'll find your way to an easier relationship with it in time (as I hope to also). But probably not because of people telling you to snap out of it! Hang in there, lots of us do understand and can relate, and we do have empathy for you.

ems · Post by **ems** » Tue Jun 12, 2012 2:32 pm

kaiasgram... excellent post!

jjjmac · Post by **jjjmac** » Wed Jun 27, 2012 8:42 am

I've only had CPAP for two nights and haven't even been able to keep it on all night. The first night, I had it on about half the night and kept waking up every hour with the dryest mouth I've ever experienced. I have the full face mask (I know I'm a mouth breather) so I had to take it off every time just to take a sip of water. I tried it last night, and after 2 hours, I couldn't fall asleep (usually it only takes me 5 minutes) so I just took it off because I figured - after already losing 2 hours of what may have been poor quality sleep but would have been sleep nonetheless, it was doing me more harm than good. I know it takes some people a while to get used to it... I figure I'm one of those, so I'm going to stick it out and not focus on the negatives too much. But I did wake up this morning and google "I hate CPAP" and found your post.

I hate pretty much everything you've described too. I hate only being able to sleep in two positions (one side and back). I hate how it feels - I did not expect the mask to feel so tight, and it must not even be tight enough because I kept having air leakage problems last night. I hate not being able to turn over and snuggle with my boyfriend or cat (the cat also used to sleep on the corner of the bed by my head, but no more thanks to CPAP hose). I hate the dry mouth (mine does have a humidifier and turning it up does help, but not solve the problem). I also have to wear a retainer at night, which was attractive enough, but now this too? good grief, I feel like I'll never have sex again! The whole thing is dreadful. The only good thing is that it's a lot quieter than I thought it would be.

Right now the thought of having to wear this the rest of my life seems dreadful. I didn't read through all the posts on here -but it seemed like most people were telling you to suck it up and be grateful to be alive (and now they'll probably say the same thing to me). Well, I don't know about you, but my apnea wasn't near a point where I was really in danger of dying - I was just tired. And I'm still tired. And right now being tired seems worth not wearing the mask. ugh. I know that it could start causing more and more problems as time goes on, but the only problem I really had was being tired - and not to the extent where I was falling asleep while driving. My apnea score was 20, which they say is moderate, so maybe I'd be more grateful for the CPAP if I was in the severe range? I don't know. Again, I'm going to stick it out, but it's also helpful to vent a little to someone who knows what it's like.

It's been 6 months or so for you know - what happened? Did you adjust, or stop using it? If you kept using it, is the relief really noticeable? Again, I haven't used mine to a point where I really feel any better but it's hard to imagine being more awake is worth the discomfort and lack of sleep caused by having to use CPAP to begin with.

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