First, since you are updating a two-year old thread, you might want to start a new thread with a subject line like: 1.5 years on ASV and still no relief
That way you will attract the attention of the folks who use these sophisticated and rather uncommon machines.
You seem to be saying that you are still unable to sleep with mask on your nose due to the extremely high pressure you are using. And the wife is also unable to sleep because she's listening to you stop breathing all night long. (Which is no surprise since your untreated AHI is in the 130s) And you've got a 9-month-old baby. There's lots of reasons here---besides your own health---that you need to make this work.
You end your post by writing:
So let's try to move out of "depressed about the whole thing" mode and into "problem solving mode".I am at a loss now. No clue what to do.
Let's start problem solving by having you do four basic, but important things:
Task 1: Document just how bad your problem with "compliance" actually is for both yourself and us
These questions may help you with that task:
* Exactly which masks have you tried? How long did you try each mask before giving up on it? How long has it been since you last replaced your mask's cushion?
* What is the exact name of the machine you are attempting to use? What are the exact settings on your machine? Are you still using the prescribed pressure settings? Or have you tweaked them on your own?
* What is the longest period of time you've managed to sleep with the mask on your nose in ONE night?
* What is the longest period of time that you've actually used or tried to use the machine every night when you first go to bed?
* What is the longest period of time that you've not even bothered trying to wear the mask when you first go to bed at night?
* Right now, how often do you put the mask on at bedtime---regardless of what happens later? Every night? Once or twice a week? Almost never?
Task 2: Identify and document the particular issues you have with therapy.
Yes, I know: Leaks are your big bugaboo right now and "nothing works". But in order to get help, you've got to do some very real and difficult analysis of what's bugging you. Think about these questions:
* Just how bad are the leaks? Do they keep you from getting to sleep? Or do they wake you up from sleep? Or do they disturb the wife?
* What is the location of the leaks? Near the top of the mask? Into your eyes? Around the edges of the nose? Out of your mouth if you're using a nasal mask? Around the bottom of your chin? Does the location of the leaks change from mask to mask? Does the location of the leaks change from night to night---even if you use the same mask?
* Are you "afraid" to move around normally in your bed because every time you do so, a leak starts? Does NOT MOVING cause you to get uncomfortable in your bed when you are trying to get to sleep?
* Any other problems with therapy? In other words, if the leaks can be conquered are there other issues waiting in the wings that will also need to be dealt with?
Task 3: Identify what things you have tried and how badly they failed
There's a lot to fixing leaks beyond merely switching masks, but that's the starting point obviously. Consider these questions:
* You say you've "tried different masks, pillows, etc. and nothing works." Exactly which masks have you tried? Which mask seems most comfortable to you and why? Do all the masks leak in the same place? Are some masks more uncomfortable that others?
* Have you tried loosening the headgear as well as tightening it? Have you properly maintained the equipment? Replaced the cushions on time? Replaced the headgear on time? Properly reassembled the mask each time you've taken it apart for cleaning?
* A clean, dry, and smooth face often helps with the seal of nasal masks and full face masks. Have you tried changing your facial care routine? It may be that washing your face several hours before bedtime (so that it can dry) will help. If you've got a heavy beard or mustache, you may need to shave a couple of hours before bedtime. You need to make sure the mask cushion is also dry when you put it on your face. Clean it in the morning so it has all day to dry. And consider what you use to wash your face. If it leaves a greasy/oily residue or if it contains a moisturizer, you may need to change to something different.
* Have you tried mask liners? Did they help at all? Why or why not?
* Have you tried an anti-leak strap from Padacheek? They're designed primarily for full face masks, but if that's what you're having trouble using, then these things are worth a try.
* Some mask leaks are caused by the hose pulling on the mask. Have you tried a hose management system? Have you tried running the hose under the covers and "hugging" it?
* If the problem is caused by the muscles in your jaw relaxing and the mask getting loose at the bottom or if the problem is mouth breathing, have you considered a chin strap? Or mouth taping?
* Since you believe the leaks are caused by the need to use extremely high pressure, have you considered lowering the pressure just a smidgeon? Yes, it may compromise your therapy, but if you can conquer the leaks with a pressure that is close to your prescribed level, then "compromised" therapy with an AHI in the teens or even twenties may be a much better bargain than "no therapy" with an AHI in the 130s. Once you've succeeded in learning to sleep with the mask, then you can work on increasing the pressure back up to where it's needed for fully effective therapy.
* Have you reported the serious leak problems to the DME and your sleep doctor---possibly multiple times? What suggestions have they made? Have you followed through with those suggestions?
Task 4: Set some specific goals for therapy
These goals need to be something that you can measure. And they need to be realistic. And you need some short-term and middle-term goals as well as long term ones.
You've already got the long term goal in mind when you write: "Now we have our first child. He is 9 months and I really want to get this under control for him. " So long term, your goal for therapy is for it to help you to remain healthy and alive long enough to see that precious son grow up, get married, and have kids of his own.
But in order to get there, you need some short term and middle term goals.
Some reasonable short term goals might be:
* Commit to wearing the mask at the start of the night every single night for the next two months. Some of making this therapy work is giving it enough time. And to develop the capacity to keep getting right back on the horse every single night---even when it throws you off in the middle of the night. At the end of those two months reward yourself and your family with some kind of a reward. The reward cannot be: Sleep without the mask. Rather, reward the whole family by doing something you like to do, but usually don't have the time to do. A nice dinner out with the wife perhaps.
* Set up an appointment with your sleep doctor to talk about just how difficult things have been and how you want to make a real go of this. If you don't have a sleep doc, ask your PCP for a referral to a sleep specialist. Be sure to discuss how difficult you find it to sleep with the mask on your face as well as talking about the leak issues.
* Work out a strategy for dealing with the "What do I do if I wake up with leaks and can't get back to sleep" problem. You may need professional help from the sleep doc to do this. Or you may want to find a good CBT counselor---most likely a psychologist to help you with this issue. And once you have a strategy worked out, you need to start implementing this strategy. My own advice is that "Take the mask off and return to sleep without it" has no business being part of this strategy. I'd suggest that you give yourself a reasonable amount of time to get the leak fixed and get back to sleep. Maybe 20-30 minutes at most. If you're still not asleep because you're fighting the leaks at the end of 30 minutes, it's time to get out of bed, go into a different room, do something calming and soothing and sleep inducing. And return to bed when you are calm enough to start over. And hitting the ramp to get the pressure back down low enough to get back to sleep in the middle of the night is OK if that helps to (temporarily) fix the leaks.
Reasonable middle term goals might include:
* Working with the sleep doc's office or possibly a CBT counselor (probably a psychologist) on teaching your body to get to sleep and stay asleep with all the sensory stimulus stuff from the mask. And learning to not spend extended time fighting the mask in the middle of the night. In other words, implementing the strategies you decide to use for what to do when you wake up to leaks in the middle of the night.
* Getting the leaks genuinely under control. It may take trying a dozen more masks before you find the perfect one. It may take wearing a chin strap. It may take rethinking your hose management. It may take working more closely with your DME or your sleep doc. It may take all of these things. But at the beginning, keep it simple: Change one thing at a time, and document whether it helped, made things worse, or didn't make much of a difference. If a change makes things worse, go back to the previous set up. If it helped or didn't seem to do much, then make one more additional change.
* Continuing to work on your attitude. You already know you need to do this. But you need to get to a point where PAP is something you choose to do for yourself to take care of your apnea instead of feeling that PAP is something that is done to you by the doc and the DME. And you'll need to continually remind yourself that you can either choose to make this work (and do whatever it takes) or you can chose to say "nothing works" and give up. And until you get to the point where you no longer feel as though "nothing works", you'll need to monitor your own attitude towards therapy.
* Tracking your total sleep time with the mask. For now, it's apt to be depressingly low. But once you start occasionally managing to get 4 or 5 hours of sleep with the mask, you might then want to start tracking the total sleep you manage to get. And how you feel in the morning. And how you feel during the day.