I hate CPAP.

[robysue]

Like Pugsy, I stayed out of this thread for a long time because I didn't have much to offer: The OP is using his CPAP, doing well on his CPAP, and hates it even though he's doing well. There's no indication that the OP intends to throw his machine in the closet and quit using it. And there's no indication that OP is looking for (our) permission to quit using it. He just wants to vent the fact that it's a royal pain in the butt to have to do this thing forever.

And, of course, he's got a brick.

So I'm not quite sure why everybody is jumping down his throat.

There are lots of us who complain about lots of things on this board. Between late September 2010 and July 2011 I was probably one of the more vocal "complainers." But I don't recall anybody calling me a "whiner" because I hated the machine and what it was doing to my life back then. Nor do I recall anybody telling me to just suck it up and decide to "like" the damn machine. Of course, I was also dealing with some extremely severe adjustment issues. And I was asking for help (most of the time). And when I wasn't asking for help, I was admitting I simply needed to vent.

As for how I feel about my machine now that I am finally starting to feel better with CPAP than before I started CPAP? In all honesty, with the help of a talented CBT therapist who's been helping me deal with my anger issues, I'm now down to "disliking Kaa". Sometimes that dislike is intense. Most of the time it's not. But in all honesty, I still dislike the fact that I must stick the mask on my nose and turn the machine on every single night. And I dislike a whole lot of other lifestyle changes that I've had to make in order to get to where I can sleep with Kaa on my nose. And, alas, I'm still not sleeping through the night. The wakes at least are now short and insignificant, but they are still there.

I don't think I'll ever get to the point where I can say I "like" CPAP. But I'm optimistic that I will soon reach the point where I'll think about Kaa in the same way I think about my toothbrush---which is basically not at all unless it needs replaced. And eighteen months after starting this crazy therapy, I do think I'm coming close to the point where I can almost say I like how I feel when I use the CPAP.

[BlackSpinner]

So I'm not quite sure why everybody is jumping down his throat.

There are lots of us who complain about lots of things on this board. Between late September 2010 and July 2011 I was probably one of the more vocal "complainers." But I don't recall anybody calling me a "whiner" because I hated the machine and what it was doing to my life back then. Nor do I recall anybody telling me to just suck it up and decide to "like" the damn machine. Of course, I was also dealing with some extremely severe adjustment issues. And I was asking for help (most of the time). And when I wasn't asking for help, I was admitting I simply needed to vent.
.

You also didn't jump down the throats of people trying to help you. You were having real problems, he has some small issues but otherwise he admits it is working for him. He just wants everyone to acknowledge how awful the whole thing is. I will bet when he has a cold the whole family has to be there on bended knee to serve the poor dieing baby.

[Madalot]

Serious point:

If more people were honest about the negatives of CPAP I wouldn't have had to write what I did, as it is all this relentlessly optimistic "it's all great here" stuff actually leaves some people thinking "How come it's so great for them and not for me?" That's hardly being supportive, which is surely the point of a community like this. Endlessly hearing about how everything is fantabulous and how you are sung to sleep by a choir of angels every night, when your own experience is the opposite is quite soul destroying. It seems that my version of reality is actually shared by quite a few others however, which is reassuring to know that I'm on the right road.

This is part of what got my hackles up and caused me to post in the first place. Like a lot of others, I was planning to stay out of this and just let DynoDad vent, but the above paragraph really pissed me off.

NOBODY here says that everything is wonderful and blows sunshine up a person's butt. The people here are open, honest and caring and validate what he was venting about.

Everybody hates it initially. EVERYBODY. Nobody does great without some of the gripes and complaints DynoDad posted. The difference is that once a person stops hating it, it becomes less offensive and easier to tolerate. This is what many of us were trying to say, some more tactfully and politely than others.

For most of us - we eventually get to the lemons = lemonade. Eventually.

But for anybody that wants to focus on hating it, lemons = sour face.

It's a choice to make and the majority of the people on this board will do anything and everything possible to help a person get to lemonade. But if all a person wants to do is make a point that it sucks, it's going to get people's hackles up since all of us HAVE been there, but managed to get to a point of tolerating it and NOT focusing on hating it.

I'm going to give DynoDad the benefit of the doubt because I have NOT researched any of his other posts/threads, but for a brief moment, I wondered if he was yet another one of "those" that came here and posted something like this, with the sole intention of causing strife among the people here. Because that's pretty much all it's accomplished.

Sometimes I really hate the internet.

[ems]

I'm going to give DynoDad the benefit of the doubt because I have NOT researched any of his other posts/threads, but for a brief moment, I wondered if he was yet another one of "those" that came here and posted something like this, with the sole intention of causing strife among the people here. Because that's pretty much all it's accomplished.

Obviously, I don't know this man and neither do any of you. However, if his aim was to cause strife among the people here, there are a million other ways he could have done it... many more obvious ways. I think the guy wanted to VENT! Instead of taking it out on his wife and kids, he yelled here. What better place? For heaven's sakes... leave him alone already. Let the guy vent. Those of you who don't want to hear more venting... simple, don't read this thread.

[portiemom]

Nanwilson, you are right on! I'm a Family Engagement Specialist for the Public Schools here, and TOUGH LOVE works, not only on kids above 8 but on some of the parents as well. You are soooooooooo on track.

[ems]

Nanwilson, you are right on! I'm a Family Engagement Specialist for the Public Schools here, and TOUGH LOVE works, not only on kids above 8 but on some of the parents as well. You are soooooooooo on track.

Portiemom... my daughter is a Specialist in Special Education. Her words... tough love works (sometimes) on children... not adults - especially adults who don't ask for it in the first place!

[KSMike]

I don't think the so-called "tough love" dispensed freely on this board is particularly helpful, except perhaps in very tiny doses, after and along with empathy and validation, and only to someone who needs to take action. It doesn't sound like the OP is swallowing in self-pity, and his disdain for CPAP hasn't stopped him from using it effectively. He seemed to merely be voicing his dislike of having to use it. We ALL have felt that way and NO ONE here would opt to sleep with a mask if they could sleep well without one. To argue otherwise seems ridiculous.

I was trying to think of the right words to add to this thread, but I can't do any better than this. I'd add that it doesn't come across as the help and support I thought this board was known for.

DynoDad, I hate it too, for most of the same reasons. I view it as a way to help stay alive until something better comes along. And I pray to God something does.

[Elle]

I wish we had an internet sociologist here.

I just read the original post again and it is actually quite mild as far as vents go. Certainly not worthy of "tough love". It's interesting that it got 6 pages of attention. I hope he comes back. I wouldn't.

[ems]

I wish we had an internet sociologist here.

I just read the original post again and it is actually quite mild as far as vents go. Certainly not worthy of "tough love". It's interesting that it got 6 pages of attention. I hope he comes back. I wouldn't.

Nor would I.

[RocketGirl]

There's a fine, fine line between tough love, and outright bullying. While you who espouse "tough love" congratulate each other, another one, maybe two, maybe more people have been turned off by your antics and are in the process of drawing away from this forum.

Is this what you want? Is this what you need? You need to control the forum, so that everyone falls in line and agrees with your stance? No "whining" allowed, no venting among a community that ought to understand and have compassion, no allowance for admitting of being frail human beings who may have adapted to xpap physically but not yet emotionally?

You can't let people just be who they are, and meet them wherever they are - they have to conform to your view or get blasted by your self-righteous put-downs? That's a recipe for kool-aid, not love.

I thought some of you were better than that, but it appears that I was wrong.

[SleepingUgly]

I've always found it fascinating that people here get whacked with the 2x4 of "tough love" for anything suggesting that they don't adore CPAP or aren't taking action to overcome any and all obstacles to CPAP success, yet never have I seen anyone here get the 2x4 of tough love for their BMI. Why is that? Note: I am not saying they should, as I'm not a fan of the 2x4 approach in any case, but I have found this phenomena to be fascinating. One should do everything in their power to make CPAP work or they will get whacked with tough love, but if they can't/don't control the #1 risk factor of OSA, no 2x4 comes out. Intriguing.

[Go ahead, whack me with a 2x4 for maintaining the unpopular belief that being overweight is the #1 risk factor for OSA, in isolation and in interaction with other variables, and worse, saying it out loud. ]

[ems]

There's a fine, fine line between tough love, and outright bullying. While you who espouse "tough love" congratulate each other, another one, maybe two, maybe more people have been turned off by your antics and are in the process of drawing away from this forum.

Is this what you want? Is this what you need? You need to control the forum, so that everyone falls in line and agrees with your stance? No "whining" allowed, no venting among a community that ought to understand and have compassion, no allowance for admitting of being frail human beings who may have adapted to xpap physically but not yet emotionally?

You can't let people just be who they are, and meet them wherever they are - they have to conform to your view or get blasted by your self-righteous put-downs? That's a recipe for kool-aid, not love.

I thought some of you were better than that, but it appears that I was wrong.

PLUS ONE!

[BlackSpinner]

I wish we had an internet sociologist here.

I just read the original post again and it is actually quite mild as far as vents go. Certainly not worthy of "tough love". It's interesting that it got 6 pages of attention. I hope he comes back. I wouldn't.

Nor would I.

Oh well he would probably be better off at the yahoo group. One person would pat him on the head and say there there boy let's cry together now - after 48 hours, if he is lucky.

Adults who are offered a solution to their problems, and the solution works for them, who come and bitch after 6 months, need to get a life and do some volunteer work.

[ems]

Adults who are offered a solution to their problems, and the solution works for them, who come and bitch after 6 months, need to get a life and do some volunteer work.

And that's because you said so... right? Funny, I didn't know you were the moderator here.

[49er]

Go ahead, whack me with a 2x4 for maintaining the unpopular belief that being overweight is the #1 risk factor for OSA, in isolation and in interaction with other variables, and worse, saying it out loud.

As one who has totally agreed with your posts, I will give you a gentle whack:) A skinny relative and I are thin and have apnea. I am convinced that another relative who is no longer alive had the condition. She was thin.

49er