THE PREFECT STORM
I called Dell tech support, told them that I need to replace a five cent button.
After a half an hour of this Dell "support" guy consulting with his higher tiers, he told me that I had a case number, and that I would have to call Dell Parts.
I did so, got stuck in Diva Dell (DD) phone tree hell for 20 minutes.
Get an email, saying that I must email Dell Parts (or was it support, I forget) back, and they will call me when they can take my case, should be just a couple of hours.
That was yesterday.
Naturally, no call ever came.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Finally, I take the initiative, call, and I reach Dell parts. Am told that my computer is out of warranty.
Tell them that I know that.
He then tries his damnedest to sell me a new laptop.
I tell him: "Please, I just want to fix this button, the thing broke just before we did a back-up, I don't need a new laptop".
He insists that a new laptop will solve all my problems.
After much dickering, I figure it out that he has entered the wrong service number.
_______________________________________________________________________________
With the right computer, my guy in India now fixates on the PSU.
He says that I need a new PSU. A new PSU will solve all my problems.
I am looking at the clock. It is 2pm EST.
I have been at this, on and off, since 10 a.m. this morning.
I have a 5 p.m. meeting with the NYC branch (at (redacted of (redacted).
The drives are encrypted with (redacted) proprietary code.
Dropping them off at a local Best Buy for drive recovery is not an option.
The Dell computer has (redacted) proprietary dongle attached to decrypt the drives on the fly.
_______________________________________________________________________________
I stammer that I want the 5 cent button, or I will take my business elsewhere. It's an empty threat, and I think he knows it.
The tech puts me on hold.
Minutes pass by.
My gal at (redacted) calls me, confirming the meeting.
I tell her that a technical issue has arisen, can we put off them meeting until tomorrow?
She puts me on hold.
_______________________________________________________________________________
She calls me back, right away.
Tomorrow is no good.
I kick the table leg, forgetting that I'm not wearing my shoes.
My big toe takes the brunt of the hit.
I just hit the mute button before I bellow and curse.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Ring, ring.
Dell guy calls me back.
They can't replace the button, they must replace the whole case, and since the case is 4 years old, it is considered an "antique" or some such garbage.
The price of a new case is $289.
Or, I can have a new computer for around $650.
What would I prefer?
I tell him that I will get back to him.
_______________________________________________________________________________
I switch to my girl at redacted.
She continues: Tomorrow is no good, since this 5 p.m. meet conflicts with a (redacted) conference call, and she has to leave to make a D.C. flight, why don't we put it off until next Monday?
I feign disappointment for 4 seconds, then say: "Fine." We exchange pleasantries, then hang up.
I stare at the Dell computer.
It stares back at me, balefully.
I am hit with an epiphany.
Dell's super-low cost computers are, in fact, loss-leaders for Dell's wildly over-priced parts.
A voice inside me speaks up.
The First Time is Happenstance
The Second Time is Coincidence
The Third Time is Enemy Action
I recall a story I read in The Mirror:
A British nuclear expert taking part in disarmament talks with Iran has died in mysterious circumstances at a UN building in Austria.
Timothy Hampton, 47, plunged to his death from the 17th floor and was found in a stairwell just hours before high-level discussions were due to resume in Vienna.
Investigators said they have not ruled out murder or suicide, but local sources said no suicide note was found.
Police are also investigating the death of another Brit who fell from the same building four months ago.
As a friend said: The third such incident will be rather difficult to take for just another accident.
I'm not interested in giving Dell a third incident, or getting a third "incident number"
Thus my post here.
roc
