What were you like........

[ameriken]

.....before CPAP?

Prior to starting on CPAP, how would you describe yourself and how you felt? A little tired? Moody? Can't focus? Usually OK? Or like a zombie? How did your SO ('significant other') feel about it?

I raise this issue because after a little over 3 weeks on the machine, yesterday my wife and I were talking about the difference between then and now. I'm not running marathons and I know I have a long way to go before I get back to my reasonably energetic self, however I no longer feel like I am lying in my coffin waiting for someone to close the lid.

To start, I was recently diagnosed with severe OSA, CSA, and other SBD’s. Or as the sleep tech put it, “the whole shebang”.

My wife has been my best feedback and support. She keeps emphasizing how different i am now compared to the past few months. She tells me how pale and drained I looked. In the evening she would see me sitting on the couch just staring at the tv with my jaw hanging open in a 'duh' kind of look. She said she hardly knew who I was anymore, I turned from a happy, joking, loving husband, to a dull, boring, mean man who had no love for her. She frequently had to remind herself that it was not me, but the apnea. Sadly, she suffered through this too. How many nights she woke up and watched me lay there dead still without taking a breath, and would have to nudge me just to be assured I was alive. How much she had to put up with.

I am a happy and content person and I really don’t like to be melodramatic about anything, but I have to admit, in the past few months I very often felt close to death. I was afraid to go to bed because I was afraid I wouldn't wake up. It was difficult having to deal with any kind of stress or pressure. I couldn't focus, I couldn’t remember things, I couldn’t converse, I didn’t want to do anything. Clients would call me and say 'Ken, let's go ahead with everything we talked about yesterday'. I'd stop for a minute and have to ask.....'uh, what was it we talked about?' When I had to do something, I would keep saying 'I'll do it tomorrow because I'll feel better then'. Of course, I never felt better tomorrow. Never in my life had I felt like I did over the past year. We realize now I had the apnea for several years, but the past year it really took a turn for the worse.

I joined the forum right about the time I got the machine. I started reading threads started by folks who kinda get freaked out when they found out they have sleep apnea, and get more freaked out when they realize they have to sleep with a mask. I was quite surprised to hear this because I was far more afraid it would not be sleep apnea and would be something more serious. I knew sleep apnea was very treatable with a CPAP machine. So, when the diagnosis came in, I breathed a sigh of relief (pun intended). I was thrilled and relieved that I had sleep apnea and not some other weird disorder or Alzheimer’s or something else. I couldn’t wait to put a mask on because I knew that meant I would once again start breathing. And since then, I have been breathing.

I thank God for sleep apnea, because there are so many more people getting diagnosed with cancer, Alzheimers, diabetes, and other more debilitating illnesses, and it saddens me because they have so much more to deal with than I do. I hope and pray that anyone else who has this will see it as a blessing and not a curse. Thanks to God and science, we have a second chance.

Anyhoo, I apologize for such a long post, I didnt mean for it to be so drawn out. I’d like to hear how you felt before you started CPAP.

[proctor78]

I was a zombie I am 1 week into treatment and it is touch and go but I can see little inprovements...

[FizzyWater]

My "success" with CPAP is hit-and-miss right now, but one thing I've noticed is I'm not sleeping through my weekends any more. I never seemed to have a problem staying awake during the week, but it seemed like I'd just sleep all weekend and it was so depressing to feel like I was living to work only.

[dlg_az]

Prior to starting on CPAP, how would you describe yourself and how you felt? A little tired? Moody? Can't focus? Usually OK? Or like a zombie? How did your SO ('significant other') feel about it?

I've been on CPAP therapy for two weeks now and can honestly say I feel like a newly revived person.

Prior to CPAP, for a year I was exhausted all the time, trying not to fall asleep at work, had a very difficult time retaining info (often had to ask the same questions twice), foggy-headed, downright cranky and irritable to everyone, little tolerance and patience for much of anything, and zero energy. I took naps all the time, which did nothing for me. I don't have an SO so I can't attest to how one would feel about my behavior, but I know my family took great exception to it. Zombie ... yes, that would fit me quite well. There were days I could simply not remember what I did. I used to wake up with enormous headaches, and a puffy face and eyes. That's never good to start off a day with ... all downhill from there.

Since CPAP therapy, I no longer feel like falling asleep at work, or dashing home for lunch to grab a 30 minute nap. I'm much less irritable and far less apt to jump all over something that annoys me. It's not pure bliss by any stretch, but I'm getting to what I would call a good night's sleep, overall. I have up and down CPAP days, but even the 'down' days are better than not using a CPAP device. Headaches are gone, puffiness ... well, on occasion I will get some but not near what it was before. Overall, my attitude has improved, oh, about 75% - there's always going to be that cantankerous part of me.

I wish you much luck and success in your own CPAP therapy.

[goldfinch]

I am new too, maybe a month and a half with the xPAP.

The biggest difference for me is not being afraid to go to sleep at night.

[pollyanna40]

ohhhhhhhh i was bad,it was only 4wks ago...i felt dead!! i couldnt do much without wanting to collaspe,i had no excited emotions,i was tired,couldnt concentrate and very serious (im usually the life and soul of any situation) id lost my personality!! wk by wk the old polly is returning still a long way to go,but its first steps!! i do feel better...now with mask my Airway collaspes once an hr,as supposed to once a minute Pre-mask,i was bad!! im slowly coming to turns with this and feeling more positive!! my hubby is fully supportive,he understands!! x x

[Resister]

I'm still waiting to get my machine. (Titrated just 1 week ago!) Looking forward to feeling great, rather than dreading the machine like I was last Saturday. Keep the positive stories coming!! It really helps this noobie.

[dareed02]

Hi all!! I found this forum a few days ago and was diagnosed with OSA (most of my apneas were central--not sure what that means) in May 2011 and finally received my CPAP last week (June 24th). I know I've only been on this treatment for a week but I can already see a difference. About three years ago, my wife was constantly complaining about my snoring. So I went to the ENT and they found I had a deviated septum. After the surgery, I rarely snored for the first few months. Following that, my temper started getting out of control, I needed daily naps, I began over-eating, and, of course, the snoring was back. I went to my GP and they referred me to behavioral health (I'm in the Air Force). They diagnosed me as being depressed and began prescribing several different anti-depressants over the next three years. The anti-depressants never worked (after four different types) and the side effects became hard to bear (even more mood swings, eating, and naps). Finally, my wife told me one day that she thought I quit breathing a few times when I slept. So, again I went to the doctor and she referred me to a sleep study. I'm now off anti-depressants, my eating is under control, and I've already lost 5lbs. My wife hasn't seen me since I received the CPAP (she's out of the country on a mission trip) but I think she will definitely notice that my temper is beginning to be under control as well. I really wish I would have had this treatment three years ago! Weird, it all started after my fourth deployment to Iraq.

[ameriken]

Following that, my temper started getting out of control, I needed daily naps, I began over-eating, and, of course, the snoring was back. I went to my GP and they referred me to behavioral health (I'm in the Air Force). They diagnosed me as being depressed and began prescribing several different anti-depressants over the next three years.

Depressed? It figures. The military cracks me up. When I was in the Corps I had abdominal pains. When the doctor, an O-3, couldnt figure out what I had, he stuck me in a Naval hospital over the weekend. Even at the hospital they couldn't figure it out. The official diagnosis? "Abdominal pains". Thanks, even I knew that.

Well it happened again a year later, and I went to sick bay on a Friday night and the only person on duty was an enlisted Corpsman, I think he was an E-4. Well, after a battery of questions and tests, he figured it out precisely: I had a stomach flu and he gave me directions on what to do, and it was gone in 2 days with no hospital stay. Kudos to the Corpsman.

Anyhow, it amazes me how so many people get misdiagnosed as being 'depressed' and get put on happy pills. A diagnosis like that could possibly kill a military career. In fact, depending on how bad your apnea was and how long you had it, that wrong diagnosis could have killed you. Anyhow, glad you got it figured out and are back on track. Good luck and thanks for your service!

[dareed02]

Yeah, at least they have me off the meds. They did have to take me off jump status. Guess they can't have a bunch of depressed people jumping out of airplanes!!

[Dojers]

It has been determined that I have had sleep apnea since birth and I got lucky that I didn't die from a crib death. I've never slept worth squat and even with sleeping pills I wasn't sleeping. At 48 my doctor finally decided that since the sleeping pills that SHOULD be working at the strength I was prescribed weren't working then there was something else wrong and he sent me in for an apnea test and naturally I was dx'd with mixed apneas. But one of the biggest problems I had in my titration test was the fact that I couldn't stay in REM sleep long enough to get a good titration setting. I was set at 12 and was still having some major arousals that were waking me up gasping for air. I finally decided to move it up to 14 myself figuring if something felt funky I would bump it back down. And that seemed to help. I do NOT recommend changing your pressure on your own but in doing my own research I figured that I could try it and see what happened. I cannot get retitrated until the end of September so I told my doctor what I did and he said as long as I was watched closely he had no problem with changing my pressure (I'm a tecnho geek and love playing with buttons ) and when my arousals dropped he definitely agreed it was a good thing since I failed at getting a good titration rate.

I'm still waking up tired although I don't normally have to take naps during the day now unless I've been busier than normal (am disabled so can only do so much) and with my new machine coming that monitors AHI and breathing disruptions and allows me to see what's going on, maybe I'll find that the machine is causing more centrals than I had before and that's why I'm still sluggish. Course, some of it may be due to the fact I still need sleeping pills to sleep. Maybe I'll start every other day taking a sleeping pill and then every 2 days take one then every 3 days and so on until I can stop taking them and see if that causes my problems to go away.

But b4 finally being dx'd with sleep apnea, I was irritable, flat out mean sometimes, sleep was miserable and I found out once it was discovered that I had sleep apnea that my fear of suffocation was coming from my MSA so I was subconsciously afraid to go to sleep since my mind knew I wasn't breathing while asleep. My dx test discovered that I was hanging out between 54 and 73 seconds of no breathing while sleeping. I can't hold my breath for 15 seconds!!! To know I was doing that scares the living tar out of me. I was not a pleasant person to be around although that part's getting better. Now if only I could REALLY sleep and wake up full of energy like I did ONE day out of all of the nights on cpap. Hoping to get that again some day - get everything figured out. Mask is finally pretty good - too small but the mediums are WAY too big - just gotta figure a workaround is all - very happy with this mask. Fingers crossed...........