How did you feel?

[Mask2sleep]

Hi there,

I'm new here so please pardon me if this has been posted before.

I had a sleep study on Saturday night and got the results yesterday. I was told I have moderate sleep apnea and I am going in for titration this coming Monday. Thank you to all who have responded to my questions, forewarned is forearmed as they say.

I'm just curious, how did you feel when you were diagnosed? I'm pretty bummed that for the rest of my life I will have to strap a mask on and have a machine help me breath. I'm 34 and 145 pounds wet, and while I suspected I might have had apnea for a decade now, having been diagnosed brings it all to the forefront and the whole idea of diagnosis and treatment is kind of overwhelming. Did you feel this way to when you were diagnosed, or am I just whining?

I will go through with the therapy and do my best to be compliant, I can't live like this anymore as the fatigue is affecting my quality of life at home and my performance at work. I am happy that there is a treatment that is effective and I will hopefully get my energy back, so I guess I shouldn't feel upset by the whole thing, but I can't help it.

Thanks for reading.

[needanap]

No, you're not just whining....well maybe a little....but at first I was very excited that something would make me sleep better and FEEL better, but after the big A-HA moment didn't really happen, I was pretty bummed for a couple of weeks. Thinking that I'd have to travel with the machine and use it every night didn't help. But I do feel better - just not to the degree that some have experienced. And after week 6 on the machine, I think I'm coming to terms with it. Ask questions...this forum is wonderful. There are people here with all kinds of suggestions and positive thoughts. I know a guy who is 28 and isn't very heavy whose sleeping habits have changed dramatically for the better. So hang in there, and I hope you're one of those people who have a great A-HA experience.

[BlackSpinner]

Most people go through the same steps as described for any loss. stages of grief
Actually these stages represent the stages of most big life changes - even if you choose to do the changes.

If you don't want to do official counselling you can try journalling or art or talking to friends - it will take longer and it could impact your therapy - being angry, depressed or in denial doesn't help with accepting the mask as you new best friend. I am dealing with weight issues mostly due to family and other issues - I felt it was worth cutting through the shit more quickly with the help of a therapist.

[carbonman]

I'm new here so please pardon me if this has been posted before.

Did you feel this way to when you were diagnosed, or am I just whining?
I can't live like this anymore as the fatigue is affecting my quality of life at home and my performance at work. I am happy that there is a treatment that is effective and I will hopefully get my energy back, so I guess I shouldn't feel upset by the whole thing, but I can't help it.
Thanks for reading.

No pardons necessary.

Posted
carbonman on Thu Sep 04, 2008 8:57 am

Zen-direct experiential realizations toward obtaining an awakening.
The practice to discover, through daily, or in this case, nightly,
experiences that will lead one to ultimate enlightment.

All things are brought to each of us, for a reason.
Why OSA???

In OSA therapy, the mask, is everything.

What is the Zen of the Mask??

These are some immediate, superficial experiences:

Anger:
Why is this happening to me?

Courage-
to attend the sleep study
to know/accept the results
to take responsibility for myself and my therapy

Patience-
to deal w/the sleep study
to deal w/the DME
to deal w/your inner self
in dealing w/the mask

Frustration-
in accepting the results
in obtaining equipment for therapy
in dealing w/the mask

Antisipation-
can this help me?
can I be well again?

Enjoyment-
the first night that you accept the mask
the first morning that you feel that something has changed
the first night, w/hours of sleep
the first night you feel comfortable w/the mask
entrance into a whole new world of friends and experiences

The mask has come as an incredible blessing.
Have I paid a Karmic dept in the years of suffering the fatigue and pain?
Have I proved through my actions that I earned this blessing?

Whatever it is, this entire process and recovery that I am going through,
is having a profound effect on me, both physically and spiritually.
This is not just the mechanics of blowing air up your nose.

Yin/Yang of life-
MY choice to embrace or reject, the mask, and in so doing,
choose quality of life.

I choose quality of life.

[andyw715]

I was in the same situation as OP. Except I had surgery (tonsils, adnoids, turbinate red, sinus, septoplasty) before cpap therapy.
After the surgery I felt 1000% better, but was bummed to know I still had SA (26 AHI after the first sleep study).

But, after my cpap study (titration), that morning I felt even better.

Then back to post op condidtion (which still was 1000% better than pre op condition)....
For me it helped immediately. YMMV....I hope you have the same result, as the "shame" and bummed feeling went away quickly the morning after I got my cpap at home.

[Wulfman]

Personally, I felt relieved to find out what the heck was making me so tired all the time. But, I suppose the initial thought of needing to be sure I had one of these machines with me, no matter where I went, in order to get good sleep was a little sobering. It wasn't too long before I couldn't sleep without it.

Read this link that was written by one of our forum members (Mike Moran) some years ago.
It's called "The Seven Stages of CPAP".

viewtopic/t54136/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=60 ... ges#p55459


Den

[Julie]

It's pretty UNlikely you'll have to wear a mask the rest of your life - technology should deal with that very soon I imagine (it's really quite amazing how fast medicine changes).

[jabman]

I was kind of excited the first night i brought my machine home. The day after I was Dxed with OSA I found out I had diabetes and that's been harder to deal with then the fact that I have OSA. Plus from day 1 of using my machine I have felt better.

[maggie22561]

I was so tired and so tired of being that way that when it was time to go back for the results from my sleep study I was actually afraid the doctor would tell me that I wasn't bad enough to need a CPAP. Turns out my apnea is severe and the results so alarmed my doctor that he had already ordered a CPAP and had it there for me to take home.
I was lucky that 3 hours into my sleep study I was placed on a CPAP and pressure was adjusted to where it needed to be so I didn't need a second study for titration.

Look at it this way....this machine may very well be a life saver for you and in the process will improve the overall quality of your health and life.

[joeattardi]

You aren't alone, my friend. I've only been recently diagnosed (a few months ago), but I had the same gut reaction. When I got off the phone with my doctor giving me the diagnosis, I definitely felt depressed, and also worried due to the associated health risks. I've already got a family history of heart disease, and when I heard that OSA could weaken my heart and other organs and increase the risk of heart disease, it definitely freaked me out.

After talking to others who use a CPAP, I felt better, as they had great things to say about the treatment. I'm about 3 weeks into CPAP treatment and I still am not sleeping that great, but the mask doesn't bother me too too bad (and I have a full face mask!)

Of course, I'm still going through some stress as you may have seen, fighting to get a data capable machine. Hopefully there will be a resolution to that soon, and I can get on with effective treatment.

[chunkyfrog]

I don't care if I have to wear this getup to sleep for the rest of my life.
The rest of my life will probably be a lot longer because of it.
So what if it's 'not natural'--
My body just wasn't designed to last as long as it has--blame heredity.
To heck with 'nature', especially if it wants me to die earlier than I care to.

[elena88]

having been diagnosed brings it all to the forefront and the whole idea of diagnosis and treatment is kind of overwhelming. Did you feel this way to when you were diagnosed, or am I just whining?

No, you are not whining.. When someone uses that term" the rest of your life" and you are only 34, its a heck of a shock.

Since you have been having trouble not feeling well, adjusting to the idea of having a "thing strapped to your face" will come easier when you
begin to reap the benefits.

You may go thru stages of grief and denial, or you may just put that mask on, make a few adjustments, wake up feeling great and do a happy dance.

That does happen to a lot of people, so I truly hope you are one of them.

I am not fond of medications, and when someone pointed out to me, that this was a cure which was just AIR, that really got me.. Its just air?

This road can be short, or long, or something in between, maybe you will struggle, maybe you will be a duck to water.. but this THING is going to
save you from an avalanche of serious health problems, if you are lucky enough not to have them already..

It can even save your life.

So, yes, its a shock, its strange, its hard to wrap your brain around it at first, but learning all you can will help you accept it..
This is the place to do that, so you are WAY ahead of the game..

Its also good to have someone close to you with whom you can share your journey. A friend, a spouse.. You will need to educate them
as you educate yourself, then when you need to talk about it, they will understand. There is quite a bit of terminology involved with this
treatment, so it can be like learning a new language.. learn it with someone you care about, it will make it a lot easier....

Then you have the great folks here to help you too, they can just about get you through anything..

good luck!

elena

[brazospearl]

Mask2Sleep, welcome to the forum, and congratulations on taking this big step toward improving your health. You're not whining. It's daunting to think you've gotta wear this every time you sleep for the rest of your life. So go ahead and whine a bit, be annoyed, wish it weren't so, and decide what you want for your life. Accepting this situation now will lead to improved life soon, and for a long time. Carbonman expressed it well with the whole Zen of the Mask idea, and elena has pointed out that it's just air. CPAP therapy is not your only option (there's surgery that is 100% effective!) but it's probably your best option right now. And it won't be as bad as you think. Having had 2 family members who used cpap I wasn't surprised when I was diagnosed, and I started reading here so I was in an excellent position to get the equipment to optimize my therapy right away. I am one of the fortunate ones who felt better after the titration; I hadn't slept that well in years. You might be that way, too. Many here have a much longer road to feeling better, but it's still worth it. Read all you can here, ask your questions, and decide what's the best thing for you to do.

[Lee Lee]

Welcome! I totally understand the feeling you get when the realization hits you that you'll need treatment for the rest of your life. It DOES get better, as you also realize that you don't HAVE to feel like hell every day.
I've graduated from dreading my condition, to appreciating the treatment. I've begun to think of bedtime as a pleasant experience, rather than a chore. I actually love to feel the air from the machine, trusting that I'll wake up feeling refreshed from sleep.
I hope your journey brings you rest and comfort. Know that there is help and support here on this forum.
Best,
Lee Lee

[breakfast]

Welcome.

I was diagnosed when I was 17. At the time I was really conflicted. I still am. I didn't realize what a Big Deal it could be until recently. Today, after three nights on a new machine, I'm angry that I wasted nearly 10 years of my life being non-compliant with therapy. Tomorrow, I might feel differently.