Greetings to all

[on a quest]

Leak Alert is turned off on his machine. If it was turned on, I am guessing it would make some kinda of sound to say the mask has been removed. Would he sound be enough to stir him awake enough to replace the mask?

He previously had little time on his back, just kinda kick back beginning bedtime on his back and than usually sides and tummy. I am surprised he is determined to sleep on his back, especially with knowing it worsens the cause. I think some of that comes from the sleeping on the love-seat where he has a good drape to the hose, the sounds of the machine are behind him and he can't turn over which means he doesn't have to adjust hose or straps. I will say with his legs raised on the other armrest, his legs don't seem to go as wild as they do when he is in bed on his back or sometimes in other positions.. Since we previously could not monitor events, I would guess they were much more frequent than we are seeing via LCD and that possibly the leg movements were that reminder reaction. Also, on the love-seat he is in a more elevated position than the one pillow almost flat on your back bed position.

Since he removes the mask and either comes to bed or finds the other bedroom because he needs to "stretch and just sleep on his sides for awhile" seems could be solved by learning to sleep with his mask, in the bed in all positions. Can't make adjustments with hose drape, body elevation, pillows, sounds, etc if he is not in the bed. He may be taking the mask off because his body is uncomfortable with being in same position for a long time verses problems related to the machine/mask. He's been on the love-seat for almost a month now.

Is there a trick once you have your mask/hose on for the night for changing positions, particularly from side to tummy, that doesn't disrupt your comfort or sleep by having to reseal or adjust everything? For the times it happened in the bed, when he would turn from back to side he would be lifting mask off, stirring to get hose situated and usually sitting up and redoing all so he could lay again on his back. I think he doesn't like the wake up process to change to other positions due to readjustment.

Does raising the head of the bed or mattress provide the same results as the wedge pillow?

[echo]

I thought this was mentioned previously in this thread, but have you hung the hose from the headboard, wall, or ceiling to help with the hose management? That is really key to avoid dislodging the mask during the night... having it drape over the bed like in the fancy manufacturer's pictures is not a really good way to sleep with the hose.

Does he wear the hose at all during the day, to try to get used to it, like when watching TV? Maybe the mask is still unfortable and he needs a different one.

Turning the leak alert on would probably wake most folks... though I'm wondering if it just wouldn't make him more frustrated, especially if YOU waking him up won't make him put the mask back on.

I'm wondering if it really might be an attitude issue. That's a difficult one to tackle of course... others have already given you some good suggestions there.

Does he have any friends that are on the hose, and that are successful with it? Maybe having him commisserate with them, and then getting a good bit of "tough love" from them, someone he knows, besides his wife, might also help. ?

[bailachel]

Hanging the hose above the sleeper makes it much easier to change position without having to move the hose around. There are many ways to do this that you will find if you search the forum. It can be as simple as draping the hose over the headboard or putting a hook in/on the wall over the bed. There are also a variety of hose hangers for sale on various web sites.

[roster]

Is there a trick once you have your mask/hose on for the night for changing positions, particularly from side to tummy, that doesn't disrupt your comfort or sleep by having to reseal or adjust everything?

He needs to visualize different options for changing positions and managing the hose and mask. Think through each of them and pick the simplest effective technique. Visualize it again when going to bed. After some time it should become automatic.

You will likely get some posts saying to buy a hose hanger. This makes the process more complicated and is not necessary - the hose can be managed well without a hanger. If you start out using a hanger, you will depend on it and then it becomes a crisis if you take a trip and forget it. Carrying the hanger in your CPAP bag onto an airliner may also be problematic.

On another point, it is likely that the sofa is not as comfortable as the bed. Can the two of you manage that he avoids sleeping on the sofa and stays in the same bed and on the same side every night? He needs to develop a routine and become habituated to it.

All the best.

[jazzer4]

I truly can be of no help as I'm struggling along myself, but...for me and maybe for him there was so much felling sorry for myself. How did this happen to me stuff. Once I accepted that I had sleep apena and would be wearing this mask to bed everynight and that my husband really didn't care if I look like the elephant man I calmed down and got to work. Also time and the right equipment helps for sure. P.S. I slept on the sofa alot too.

[on a quest]

Sorry if this is a repeat post...not sure if my submit happened cuz I didn't hit the submit. Me waking him up is something he might be passive to since it's old hat. The alarm might be something different to arouse him and make him responsible for.

He has talked to a few successful, longtime cpap users. They didn't have difficulty adjusting so there's not been a lot of suggestions. They do tell him how wonderful it is once it happens and how they look forward to sleep because of the machine. They also, as it happens, to be full time back sleepers. Maybe he relates their success to the back position along with his own improvements since being on his back on the love-seat.

Ah, I would love to have him back in bed! He just continues to say he can't sleep in bed because he cannot stay on his back. Go with what your body tells you and make the adjustments is easier said than done. I've told him everything I've read about back sleeping working against him.

Attitude! Yes, lots of WONDERFUL advice and insight from all of you! I can't program him....believe me, I'm trying! How I wish I could.

I'll take this man any way he comes.....thru the years we have both had changes and it's been okay, even the mask and machine. Maybe it is a feel sorry for himself because of needing it, I don't know. I just know I look forward to the time when all is good for him which will make it good for us.

Hopefully, records should be arriving SOON. Maybe the black and white will shed some answers and hold the magic that changes his attitude, redefines his goals, brings him understanding, moves him forward.

[SleepingUgly]

I'm going to have to reread this, as I must have missed something about why he can't be in the bed. In my opinion, the best place for him to learn to adjust to CPAP and to come up with a system for managing hoses, turning over, etc., is in the place where he will eventually have to do it. Also, I can't imagine a love seat is comfortable enough and gives enough options for turning as a bed... So if it's an issue of him disturbing you, is it possible for you to retreat to the second bedroom temporarily? You said something about he can't be on his back in his bed, and I'm not sure why that is... this is the part I must have missed. I don't see any reason why a 30-degree elevation of the head of the bed wouldn't work as well as a wedge, although then you'd be sleeping on it like that as well.

[on a quest]

Okay, let me see if I can't clarify the bed issue. Originally he had a cpap at 16 and was in the bedroom struggling to get the hour a night he did for four months. Than the dr changed to a bipap at 14/10, which he found more tolerable but still no increase in usage time and still in the bedroom. Along came a forum suggestion to try using the machine while watching tv or some other non-bed activity. Along came the tv time which was on the love-seat. He did not end up with much "awake" practice time as he would go to sleep. That's how sleeping on the love-seat started and he feels it has given him the change in usage and is more mask/hose friendly. We did try a night back in the bedroom with no success. At the mere mention of trying the bedroom again he instantly said I can't sleep in there because I will get off my back, and the night proved to be way restless and low usage.

I do think he is avoiding causing me any discomfort from the machine or the lack of it while in bed. I haven't complained about anything but I have acknowledged if it did disturb me because together we needed to find a solution. I really don't have a problem with the look of wearing it, the sound, the blowing, the waking him up if needed....all of that is just part of it. I have a problem with not wearing it!

I have slept in the bed with him, slept on the couch while he's on the love-seat for that together time, slept in the front bedroom, set him up in the front bedroom and he stays totally attached to the love-seat. The love-seat, on his back. Why his back? All I know is that he says it is more comfortable, at least while on the love-seat. I don't know, I just don't know. He's off this weekend after a long stretch of no days off so I'm pushing for the bedroom together, good, bad or ugly!

We have talked several times about needing to "learn" to sleep in the bed again because we are planning on traveling and homes and hotels and good old fashioned camping don't generally have a love-seat available!

[echo]

While I still agree that back-sleeping isn't the best possible scenario, if the love-seat is getting him compliant (and used to the device in the meantime), then there's no harm in that if everyone's OK with the situation (especially him). Perhaps after some time he will start feeling better from using the bi-pap all night, and then you can look into having him come back in the bed, fixing up a good hose management system in the bedroom, and stopping the back sleeping. Turn the leak alarm on as you suggested, since you won't be there to wake him up when he takes the mask off. Good luck to you both!