CPAP and Intimacy.

[JMJflyer]

I have realized after a few nights on CPAP that I need to make a conscious effort to spend some time talking with my wife before sleeping and whatever may follow. Otherwise, I end hopping in bed with CPAP on and ready to go to sleep without much conversation. I think what I will have to do is get in bed and not put on the CPAP for about 5-10 minutes to preserve that time I used to have with her.

How about you? What did you have to do to maintain your relationship with your spouse? What tips do you have?

[Mikebov]

I've just started 2 weeks ago. My first night I was so excited to sleep, boom, I put it on and forgot about her. Now, I am like you, I wait till we get a chance to wind down, talk about the day and say goodnight.

[JeffH]

10 years after I got on CPAP she got her first machine....LOL. She goes to bed earlier than I do so it didn't really matter much.


JeffH

[Jersey Girl]

My husband and I work different shifts, but if I am up, I do wait to talk to him for a little while and then put the mask on when he is done telling me about his day.

Best regards,

Jersey Girl

[montana user]

we have an automatic cuddle time! When we get into bed we cuddle and we have our clues..like she will kiss me and say put my mask on, or I start snoring and she tells me to put my mask on..lol. But it works really well to cuddle and talk for a while before putting it on. For example if I come into the bedroom and she is all wrapped up in blankets and facing away from my side of the bed, thats the " leave me alone im tired" position. you may give off the same thing by putting your mask on right away.

[unadog]

I have had pretty bad insomnia for years. Prior to xPAP, she moved to another room because I would drive her crazy tossing and turning, then getting up for a few hours every night to meditate, listening to relaxation tapes, etc.

Now she call me "Darth Vader" and hates the mask and hates the noise She has always complained about air purifiers or any other machines in eth bedroom.

So, no progress ... Once I get healthy I think I will find a girlfriend to sleep in there with me. As long as I leave it as messsy as it is, my wife would never notice. Of course with the bipap and ear plugs, I could get
"busted" because I would never hear her coming down the hall.

[jnk]

I think every marriage is unique in those areas. But making time for each other is important for every couple, obviously.

That may be the sort of thing some couples find difficult to discuss with each other because it feels as if it would take some of the magic out of it if it has to be discussed. But I think the opposite is truly often the case. It could be the start of an entirely new level of intimacy if you have a conversation that starts with something like: "I was thinking today about how important it is to me that we have time to talk about our day and have some cuddle time. I would never want CPAP to get in the way of that, of course, so what do you suggest we do to make sure it never does?" It may sound like an odd question, but you could get extra credit for (1) saying how important it is to you, (2) admitting you were thinking of her during the day, and (3) explaining that you want HER input on what to do. And I think we husbands need ALL the extra credit we can get to make up for all the times when we are jerks. Oh, wait, maybe I'm admitting more than I should in a forum. Strike that last comment.

[bearded_two]

We're supposed to talk before going to sleep? Seriously, most of the time my partner goes to bed before I do, and we talk in the morning rather than at night.

[jnk]

We're supposed to talk before going to sleep? Seriously, most of the time my partner goes to bed before I do, and we talk in the morning rather than at night.

Talking efore sleep gets you in less trouble than during sleep.