so depressed.. do i really have to wear this??

[Panhandler]

I don't think I've ever felt depressed about the CPAP. I was diagnosed years ago as being clinically depressed, then made some major life changes that offset most of the reasons for that, but still was tired, not sleeping well, up to pee several times per night, and had developed heart problems (atrial fib and an enlarged left atrium).

An alert internist ordered a sleep study, and guess what? OSA. I think I was mostly glad to think we finally had a handle on why I was feeling so blah. Plus, I'm a geek, and put some time and energy into learning what I could about OSA and CPAP.

Before CPAP, I seemed to try to avoid going to bed. I didn't understand why at that time, but in retrospect, sleeping either wasn't satisfying, or was frightening, at a sub-conscious level. Now, I strap on the mask and when the pressure comes up, I can relax. I really think of CPAP as turbo-charging my sleep.

I had a few bad days getting started, due to mask fitting problems, but a little fiddling around with the straps made a big difference. Also, I've got a machine that gives me full data. I ran it for several months in auto mode and tracked my performance, making little adjustments to the pressure range. I came to the conclusion that the auto mode for some reason, caused me to swallow more air than a single pressure does. Some folks will try to tell you that you can't adjust your own machine, but that's not the case. You can do what you want. My doc actually set a pretty broad range within which I can make changes. He prescribed 9 cm H2O and said that if I feel like I need to go over 11 cm H2O, he'd like another sleep study. After fooling around with the auto ranges, I settled on 9.5 cm H2O.

You don't have to be as much of a geek as I am, but if you learn some, experiment some, and take charge of your treatment, I think it will help you cope with the whole notion. Hang out on this forum, and you'll learn a lot and get lots of encouragement. Stick with it!

[MidnightOwl]

Thanks! I hope I get used to the mask. I heard the weight as a lot to do with it. I have joined a weight management clinic and have already lost 3lbs in a week. My main problem with the lack of sleep (apnea) was I woke up a lot during the night, felt so tired and had a head ache every morning, I also woke up several times of the night gasping for air, coughing a lot...
I hope it helps me. . but is it possible for me to cure this with weight loss or surgery?

I remember feeling awful when I heard that I would have to use cpap forever and I felt that way even thought I never had any trouble sleeping with it. That awful feeling wore off for me pretty quickly and now I don't care much. But it might make it easier to accept if you think of it as something you're just doing until you find a better solution. Losing weight is a great idea and it might work. If it doesn't you can always consider surgery later. And the surgeons will have had a few more years to figure out how to do a better job of it. Or there may be a brand new option by then. Or you may decide that you don't mind cpap that much after all. But it is important to use cpap every day until you do have that better solution.

Good luck. It really isn't as bad as it seems.

Midnightowl

[pdean44]

I am excited to start my therapy. I am up early to head out to hopefully get my equipment this morning. If what I have been reading here is true we will feel so much better and healthier. Wearing a mask is a small price to pay for our over all health. I am sure our loved ones agree. I know my wife is looking forward to it with my snoring. I was never sure if i had sleep apnea or if she was trying to hold a pillow over my face to stop the snoring.
From what i have read there is a large adjustment period. A lot of trial and error.
I hope it goes well for you and equally as well for me.

I look forward to actually feeling rested when I wake up. I hope

[carbonman]

I really can not believe I had to wear this every night.
Does anyone else feel like this?

b404, these were my thoughts after 3wks of cpap.

On my ride yesterday I was pondering
my plunge into the CPAP world.

When I first viewed the results of my sleep study,
I felt like I had been sentenced to prison, by my body.
I thought, this can't be happening. Denial.

The first few nights w/the mask, I was certain that
this was a prison sentence. Anger

As I began to read and learn, I started to realize that
I don't have a choice here. This is my life. Acceptance.

As I have begun to feel better, I think,
that OSA is the prison.....where everynight
I am tortured...and sentenced to a miserable life the next day.

Maybe, just maybe, the mask is the parole officer.
He/she/it, the mask, approves a good nights rest,
and the next day, I am released to a new, brighter day.
Follow the rules, check in everynight and make a good
faith effort to participate....you sleep, and
then you are released from the OSA prison.

Maybe, just maybe, it is not a plunge into the CPAP world,
rather,it is being released from the OSA prison of despair.

Random, rambling thoughts of a rookie hosehead.

They ring more true than the day they were written.
Thanks! for this opportunity to review.....
and appreciate all that cpap has brought to me.

You got'a believe.

[rubymom]

Whitney, hang in there. I cried the first night I had to use it. That was almost a year ago now. I am comforted now by the feeling of putting it on. I've recently fallen asleep on the couch a few times without it and am quickly reminded of how much I need it and how much it helps me. That feeling of gasping for air...my gosh I used to do that hundreds of times a night. And now I don't.

You'll be OK. I promise. Stick with it.

[whitneyb404]

Thanks for all the kind words.
I was very anxious about going to bed last night and was stressed but felt like my sleep was even better than the first night. I woke up without a head ache and only woke up a couple of times.
Before using the machine, I woke up often and after about 3am, I would wake up every 30 minutes.
I felt rested this morning when I awoke so that made me feel great in general...
and I was able to get out of bed without pushing the snooze button 9 times.
I hope I can get used to the mask but if it makes me feel well rested and I do not have head aches then its worth it...

The only thing I have been having a hard time with in the morning and before I sleep is my throat getting sort of flemy.. Even when I awake all morning I cough a little and at night lying in bed, I feel the same.
Is this something that other sleep apnea people suffer from...?
I usually have to suck on a halls for a little while before going to bed ...

[OutaSync]

The only thing I have been having a hard time with in the morning and before I sleep is my throat getting sort of flemy.. Even when I awake all morning I cough a little and at night lying in bed, I feel the same.
Is this something that other sleep apnea people suffer from...?
I usually have to suck on a halls for a little while before going to bed ...

Have you ever been checked for GERD ? It's possible to have it and not know it. GERD and sleep apnea seem to go hand-in-hand for many people. Do you have that feeling in your throat only when you are reclining? If so, it might help to raise the head of your bed by 4-6 inches.

Just a thought.

Bev

[ichitumi]

It helps to be a geek. Like Panhandler, I also did a bunch of research on my own. I actually learned about cpap therapy after being told by my doctor that losing weight should take care of my snoring problems. I am quite sure my snoring has nothing to do with my weight. I am a snorer my whole life ... my dad was mistaken for a motorcycle once when he was taking a nap in the afternoon.

After learning more about apnea, I approached my doctor and told him that I think I have it and wanted to get a sleep study done. Once my report came back, I began doing research on machines and masks. Now I'm a cpap gear whore. I tried out two nasal pillow masks, both worked out well for me, but the resmed LT was better for my sleep patterns. I'm now on my fourth machine. They are all in good working order, but I keep buying them off other people and kept upgrading. Seems to be cheaper for me than going through insurance and "renting" from them.

I like sleeping at nights and being able to breathe at the same time. I like waking up each morning without a sore throat. I especially like being fresh and awake during the day, though the staying up and watching the Olympics kind of ruined that.

Keep with it. I can't image sleeping without mine ... last time was camping last May ... but I think some good folks here found some creative ways around that.

I don't think I've ever felt depressed about the CPAP. I was diagnosed years ago as being clinically depressed, then made some major life changes that offset most of the reasons for that, but still was tired, not sleeping well, up to pee several times per night, and had developed heart problems (atrial fib and an enlarged left atrium).

An alert internist ordered a sleep study, and guess what? OSA. I think I was mostly glad to think we finally had a handle on why I was feeling so blah. Plus, I'm a geek, and put some time and energy into learning what I could about OSA and CPAP.

Before CPAP, I seemed to try to avoid going to bed. I didn't understand why at that time, but in retrospect, sleeping either wasn't satisfying, or was frightening, at a sub-conscious level. Now, I strap on the mask and when the pressure comes up, I can relax. I really think of CPAP as turbo-charging my sleep.

I had a few bad days getting started, due to mask fitting problems, but a little fiddling around with the straps made a big difference. Also, I've got a machine that gives me full data. I ran it for several months in auto mode and tracked my performance, making little adjustments to the pressure range. I came to the conclusion that the auto mode for some reason, caused me to swallow more air than a single pressure does. Some folks will try to tell you that you can't adjust your own machine, but that's not the case. You can do what you want. My doc actually set a pretty broad range within which I can make changes. He prescribed 9 cm H2O and said that if I feel like I need to go over 11 cm H2O, he'd like another sleep study. After fooling around with the auto ranges, I settled on 9.5 cm H2O.

You don't have to be as much of a geek as I am, but if you learn some, experiment some, and take charge of your treatment, I think it will help you cope with the whole notion. Hang out on this forum, and you'll learn a lot and get lots of encouragement. Stick with it!

[YawnGirl]

I'm not gonna say its easy to start cpap therapy because it is A LOT to get use to. But it does get better with "practice".
You will run into problems that need "tweeking". Use the wiki link and search for the problem your having and you will find solutions here. I know, if I had not found this forum, I would have given up long before I realized the benefits of my therapy.

Just hang in there!!

-Paula

[deadhead77]

That mask is your best friend, learn to love it and enjoy the new you. Don't think of your treatment as horrible medicine, think of it as a simple cure that is effected in the dark and 'you' have control of.

Its a part if your life now, a better life and probably a longer life.

Stop moaning and get on with it

[Whitneyb404]

Hi OutaSync, What is GERD? I went to my dr today.. he gave me a puffer.. he thinks I have mild asthma...
I was coughing a lot last night when I put my mask on. I was sucking on a halls but was worried about choking on it!!

[montana]

Gerd is acid reflux. Coughing is very common with gerd. Many times mistaken for asthma too. Try using a Zantac every night at bedtime. My DR thought I had asthma too but it was GERD.

[nursedeborah]

I am so glad this was here. I just have gotten off to a horrible start with the DME co.
and finally got a mask yesterday, and now my machine stays on all night!

I do remember the first night I wore it, and how I felt the next day, but I realize all that
was , was that I felt so safe just having this machine, and would, and will wear it no matter
what!!!

I was so depressed from what I had, couln't stay awake for 3- days at a time, I was just
a zombie, chest pain all the time, and I have already had heart attacks!

I am wanting it to work faster, it is helping, but I want more, want to be where some of
you are happy, and doing life, out of the fog.

Well I started using my machine on the 19 th, but had so many problems with it going off.
I am praying now I will just relax and know it does take time.

I am nervous about my possibly having narcolepsy, and have to see a neuro!!! I just am
so tired still. I know last night was really the first night it stayed on, but I didn't feel
that great this am.

Debbie

[tattooyu]

Whitney,

I just completed my first year on PAP therapy. I was in hysterics the day I got my diagnosis of "severe OSA", but I also was mentally broken down from lack of sleep and daily panic attacks. I struggled with the "I am going to have to use this for the rest of my life" aspect of it, but you know what? Things could be worse. With proper therapy, apnea is a non-issue (mostly).

As far as the weight issue, I have been fat my whole life. I was also afraid of the word "fat" my whole life, but that's what I am (for now). After one year of therapy, and no change in exercise (maybe even a little less), I've dropped nearly 20-30 pounds without trying. Your mileage may vary, but I think you'll find it helps. Remember to learn to eat healthy (and enjoy it) and try and exercise as much as possible once you get your energy back.

[OutaSync]

Hi OutaSync, What is GERD? I went to my dr today.. he gave me a puffer.. he thinks I have mild asthma...
I was coughing a lot last night when I put my mask on. I was sucking on a halls but was worried about choking on it!!

Yes, Montana is right. You may have GERD and not even know it. The way the ENT checked me for it was give me something to swallow that showed up in an x-ray. I could watch it go down my throat to my stomach on a big screen. Then they had me lie down and I watched the material come right back up my esophagus to my throat. It turns out that my lower esophageal sphincter does not close. That might be happening to you. THat's what might be making you feel as though you need to cough. Especially if it happens when you are in a reclining position.

Bev