OT---I miss my cat

[t-bone]

Aloysius Ebenezer Qat came to me in the spring of 1996.

I was working for a company that sold mid-scale backyard storage buildings (we called them “Yard Barns”). We had been feeding a stray cat that was something of a mascot—Delam (as in delaminating plywood) was his name. Delam was an old tomcat—his favorite things were food, fighting and f*@$ing, in no particular order—and he had the scars and abscesses to prove it.

One day, a young cat followed Delam to our workshop and yard. He was a timid, feral thing—dirty, fearful of humans—but an attractive kitten of some six months’ age. Over time, we calmed him to the point that he would allow pets while he ate the food we provided. He discovered that pets felt good, and we discovered that he had a big, loud purr. He was a poor kitten, without the exotic toys like manufactured toy mice, but it didn’t keep him from playing—during a builders’ meeting, I saw him playing in the yard with a piece of gravel as cats will with toy mice, much as kids of so many generations used shirred rocks and brickbats for sandlot baseball games.

Not wanting him to face the same health problems of his mentor, I captured him and took him to be neutered and inoculated. He was too nice a cat to be dealing with the abscesses and battle scars, and one cat that smelled as bad as Delam did was too many.

Surprisingly, I learned that this cat had a clean bill of health. I fell prey to his endearing purr and fondness for attention and took him home with me.

It didn’t take long for me to figure out his name, given his humble beginnings. Aloysius Ebenezer Qat, Esq. (commonly called Al E. Qat) quickly showed himself to be the best-behaved, nicest, sweetest orange-and-white cat I have ever encountered. His purr was audible at thirty feet in a fairly quiet room. His love of a game of string was such that it proved that all cats are hard-wired for the joy. He was a master at a game our family calls “mouse bop,” in which the cat perches on a level surface three or four feet from the floor and toy mice are tossed vertically near that surface. The cat swats the mice to the floor much as a volleyball player spikes the ball over the net, unless he’s able to get a claw in the toy’s fur and collect it on the tower platform.

Last summer, Al E Qat developed feline diabetes. I almost lost him then. We began a regimen of daily insulin shots followed by a few cat treats (crunchy Pounce, just about any flavor, thank you very much). I could call his name, and he’d come trotting to the cat tower for his shot and treats. Al had always understood rituals—one had been that every time I came home, he would get a session of pets and treats on his tower.

One recent Saturday, Al did not get out of bed for his shot. He clearly felt a bit worse than usual. He had had little appetite for treats the day before. We took him to the vet, who diagnosed some dehydration, a heart murmur that was new, took a blood sample, and sent him home. The next day was a good day for Al. He was eager for his periodic treats, leaning almost off the edge of his tower to show me how much he wanted some.

That Monday morning was a different story. He got off the bed at the usual time, but when I called him for his shot and treat ritual, he was not to be seen. I found him hiding under the living room sofa, clearly not feeling well at all.

Jenn’s workplace is closer to our veterinarian than mine, so she took him in for further diagnosis. When the vet called me in the afternoon, she had gotten the blood test results and had time to look at them. Al’s kidneys were failing and the heart murmur was found to be the harbinger of one of the old cat heart diseases. The vet felt he could come home, so Jenn brought him home when she got off work.

When he got home that night, Al seemed unwilling or unable to raise his head to really look around himself. His breathing was labored at best. I couldn’t bring myself to keep him at home, clearly in distress and clearly not wanting to go on with such a life. I hated to put him through a third car trip in one day, but the overriding thought was that I absolutely could not make him suffer any longer.

As we—Jenn, one of the vet techs, the vet and I--stood around Al in the exam room, comforting ourselves, each other, and Al, he finally settled down from the stress of the car trip enough to start purring. It was heart-breaking to hear, as it was a quiet version of his biggest loudest purr—one that included some vocalization that sounded almost as a trill inside the purr. We have chosen to believe that he was saying it was okay, that he understood my decision to put him out of his misery and that he knew his job keeping me company had come to an end.

Al is buried in the family cat graveyard at my mother and stepfather’s house. As has been my custom for the last several cats I’ve buried, I put some of his favorite toys in the grave with him. My sister was there, and tossed in a few cat treats. Jenn was there, and helped me fill the hole in the ground, as she too was smitten by Al’s endearing ways, and as we will help each other fill the void in our lives left by his passing.

As with all the cats I’ve buried, I miss him terribly. He had a great thirteen years with me, and I with him.

Jenn has already chosen a name for the next cat we get. I'm not sure when that will be--days, weeks or months away--but there will be another. We still have three living with us now, so there is no rush.

[mars]

What a wonderful story about a wonderful cat. Or are all cats wonderful. Just about.

Your game sounds very much like the game that I have played with nearly all my cats - it is called "Goalie". The cat is the goalkeeper and stands before a wall or board. I throw a table tennis ball at the board, and my cat has to stop it. A great game.

My current No 1 cat is Dusty, and like you I was feeding her outside for about a year, and slowly being able to rub her head as she fed. She lived in an alley with a family of cats, in the attic of a neighbour (so I found out later). When she found out she called in the cat catcher. Dusty, to her everlasting shame, was the first to be caught eating a roasted chicken in a cage trap. I missed her, and eventually found her at the RSPCA, so she then moved in.

Cats have a cat body, not a human body, but they have all the feelings we have, and an abundance of love. Dealing with the problems of ill health, my cats are my daily support. However, they do have a problem trying to wash me with my mask on.

Thanks for sharing

cheers

Mars

[N6CRV]

Hello T-bone, so sorry to hear about Al. You need to feel good about all the great years he had with you. We have our cats and would not want to lose any of them. A couple are getting old and not moving like they used to. The old boy is an outside cat and he is going on 14 years now and still likes to fight and to the things boys do. We are lucky to have one of his kittens as they have the extra toe. You will always miss Al but another will come in to your like to make it a little better.
Don

[JeffH]

Thanks for sharing the T-bone. Cats are something special.

About a year and a half ago we moved from the country into town. Of course, living in the country, three cats adopted us. I've always found that the cats worth having find you, not the other way around. Anyway, Buttermilk, the first one and a male was abandoned by the so called people that moved out from next door. We heard him crying and started taking him food. The second one was probably Buttermilk's sister or mother. The neighbor on the other side is a cat person and first started feeding her. He named her "Psycho Kitty", because when she was hungry, she didn't respect the cat order of things, she forced her way in and ate. The third one we named "Spook". She was Psycho kitty's kid and was my favorite. We enjoyed them for about three years. We were able to get all of them fixed and they all got their shots, but they remained outdoor, and about half Ferrel cats. We made them a box with a heater in it for cold winter nights and they really seemed to like that. They had a nice bush to sleep under on cool bare ground in the heat of summer.

When we moved in Oct. of '07 we tried to catch them to take them with us. They would have no part of it. After about a week of trying we gave up and asked the neighbor to the north that is a cat person if he would start feeding them. He said he would. We gave him $20 a month to help with the feed bill, (he already was feeding a half a dozen cats) and he made them a place to sleep that they adopted.

So far they are doing good. A couple of months ago he asked us to give the $20 to the local animal shelter and not to him, so we have started doing that. They get in your heart and your story brought a tear to my eye for your loss and mine.

Thanks again.

JeffH

[Catnap]

What a great tribute to a great cat! Your post just made my day, and made me give some extra petting to the two rescued cats who call my house home.

[Karla1958]

I'm so sorry about your cat. This is a bad week for me too. In 2007, this week, my cat started to get sick from something. By April 20th he passed away. I found out that it was that poison food that was going around that killed him. It is a very tough week for me. It seems just like yesterday that HE was sleeping next to me in bed. I miss my cat too.

About 2 weeks after my cat passed, I kept hearing meows and I thought I was "losing it" but my roomie went out and looked around and there were two small kittens that someone had abandoned outside. I don't know if they were local or if someone just threw them out of a passing car, but amazingly the two kitties were there for me at a time I really needed them. The neighbors had been chasing the kittens with broom handles and trying to scare them off, the kitties were traumatized, I believe. So my roommate went and gathered up these two wet kittens (it had rained for days) and brought them into the apartment to stay forever. Now they are my Lily and Jack! Permanent fixtures in the apartment and my heart. I truly believe that these two kittens were sent to ease my pain from my long time companion dying. It's funny how they showed up right when I needed them most.

Maybe another kitten will show up like my Lily and Jack showed up for me. I was wondering if there isn't a kitty heaven and when my cat got there he spread the word that I needed a friend or two and these two kittens decided to come down and join me. I know that is far fetched for some, but it was just so convenient that these kitties showed up when I needed someone to love on. If these kitties would have showed up when my old cat had been alive, I wouldn't have been able to bring them in the house. My old cat didn't like other cats at all. He was very possessive of his mom and dad and didn't like to share. But right then, when I was at my most miserable time with the guilt of feeding my cat poison food (Chinese melamine was in his prescription food) and constantly reliving his screams of pain... right then these two lovely kitties showed up, just like it had been planned... And it's so funny that neither cat is like my old cat (psychologically? or mannerisms.) They are both complete individuals with minds of their own and each has their own way of getting what they want. The personalities are so different for two cats raised in the same environment. They do fill the void that my old dear cat left, but I still think of him every day. And I still occasionally call one of these two brat cats by his name... not even realizing that I had said it, but my roomie heard me say it. And I hear him do the same thing...

Like I said above, this is a tough week for me. I can't believe my old cat been gone two years now. Thank you for your post about your cat, t-bone, it's nice to know that others have loved their cats as much as I loved mine (and still love these 2 brat cats even though they are still in the terrible two's stage of development--Destroying everything in site that looks like a challenge!) I hope your other cats take your mind off of your loss. Remember the good times and try to forget the pain of the last few days. Hug your other kitties for me!

Karla

[Hawthorne]

I'm so sorry to hear about Al! What a wonderful life you gave him! You also did that final act of kindness for him when he was so sick. That's how much you loved him - enough to not let him suffer!

I remember, as if it was yesterday when I hear a story like yours, when we had to do that final act of love for our boy Humphrey. It was almost 12 years ago and he was 12, but we still miss him every day.

Just under a year after we let Humphrey go, while we vowed we would never have another pet, we got Pumpkin and Pepper, 2 adorable kittens. They are both a joy to us as well, but Humphrey still holds a special place in our hearts. In fact, his ashes are in a lovely blue urn in our cabinet. His favourite toy sits in front of the urn.

Pumpkin and Pepper are now 10 years old. We've had them since they were 8 weeks old. They also are very special to us. We are glad they are still healthy and happy and they certainly make us happy as they live life as pet cats do.

We have always and plan to always give them the best life we can for as long as they have, just as you did with Al, and not let them suffer too much when the time comes for 2 more urns to join the one with Humphrey's ashes in the cabinet.

Pets are so special!

Rest in Peace, Aloysius Ebenezer Qat. You were much loved!

[Catnapper]

Dear t-bone,

I thought you might like to know that just now I went to the herb garden, picked some catnip, and used it to decorate Al's grave and the graves of the rest of our family's kitties.

It was Al's luckiest day when you took him home with you. I know he had a good life and was greatly loved. We all miss him.

Mom - Catnapper

[BleepingBeauty]

Hi, t-bone. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.

I can certainly relate to the pain you're feeling. I lost two of my three cats within a couple of months of each other, back in late 2006. One was 17, and the other was 19. I'd had them with me since they were both tiny kittens, so the losses were devastating. The 17-year-old passed on his own, shortly before I woke up one morning. He'd been ill, and I'd been treating him; but his poor little body just gave out that morning. The 19-year-old was suffering kidney failure, and I put her down when she was becoming jaundiced and looking quite frail.

Each of them is with me still, their ashes in urns, their love in my heart.

My remaining cat and I comforted each other during that difficult time, and I eventually adopted another companion kitty (mostly for her, but also for me). They love each other and are inseparable now.

Cats are awesome, and I'm glad you still have a few of them to keep you company and share your grief. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. But we have to remind ourselves that our pets enjoyed a good, happy life with us and are now pain-free, wherever they are. It's a gift that we're able to end their suffering with compassion and love when the time comes. All the best to you and your family.

[Gerald]

T-Bone.........

Please accept my condolences......I can understand your pain.

About 42-years ago, I purchased a Siamese tomcat kitten......we named him Mingo....and spent about 14-years with him. Mingo trusted us completely....because he knew we'd always back him up. He was one of those rare cats that would run and jump right up into your arms.....knowing that we'd always catch him.

Late in his life, he caught "Kitty Aids".....Infectious Feline Anemia....and we couldn't keep him alive very long after that.

One of the toughest things I ever had to do was tell the Vet that it was time to put him down. I shed many tears then.....and over 20-years later i still mourn his death.

The experience of losing a good cat....did have one very good consequence. I analyzed "mourning"......to understand what it is....and how it works. I came to understand that when a person "mourns", it is the sadness one feels...... at the realization that the "good" things associated with a person...or a pet.....are lost forever. Actually, we "mourn" our loss of enjoyable experiences that we'd get if that person or animal was still alive.

Most people are busy "trading" with others (and pets)......we give value and happiness to other beings.....and we get value and happiness from those beings in return. It's knowing that we're not ever going to get the special value and happiness associated with a particular being....that causes us to mourn. We mourn for ourselves....for what we know we're not going to get in the future.

The way out of this sadness....is to get busy replacing the deceased being....with another who can trade "happinesses" with us....just as well.....but a little differently. No two beings trade exactly the same way....so, you can't exactly replace Al....just as I can't replace Mingo.....but, we move on...to trade with others....in a way that reduces our sorrow. Time dilutes the unhapppiness......especially when we obtain new happiness from other trading partners.

Hope this helps.........

Gerald

[kteague]

T-Bone,

I was on my way out the door as I'm working on a photo slide show for this weekend's Celebration of Life for a friend who terminally ill. Yes, I know that usually happens after one is gone, but she wants to celebrate her life now, so we are doing it her way. It's been emotionally draining, and tears are always too near the surface. After spending the morning going thru old photos, I decided to quickly check the board here before leaving.

Well, I won't be leaving for a while. Got to give me my eyes time for the redness to go away and the nose to clear up. I was already "tore up" by your beautiful tribute to Al, then came the other touching stories. But the mother in me just couldn't even try to hold up any longer after your mother came in to comfort you with her account of placing catnip from her herb garden on Al's grave. Seems your love of pets is a family trait.

May your heart be comforted by knowing you were a blessing to Al as he was to you.

Kathy

[Brushy Hollow Bill]

Sorry

[rested gal]

T-bone, that was a beautiful tribute to an pet you loved. You loved him enough to do the right thing for him near the end. Thank you for your post, and to the others who have written about the companions they love.

Thank you.

[Babette]

{{{{{T-Bone, Jenn and Family}}}}}}}}

You're a great writer. I avoided this thread, not wanting to deal with someone else's loss. My own loss is too raw.

But it's good. It's a good read. Al's was a good life. It was a good passing. You are a good man for sharing it all with us.

I hope another soul comes into your life and keeping. You're a great cat daddy.

More hugs,
Barbara

[travismcgee]

Very nice tribute to your pal Al. We have two cats Alex and Ginger, both girls and both rescued animals. They like your cat
are truly a part of our family. Your post has reminded me of just how much they are a part of our daily lives which sometimes we tend to forget or take for granted. Thanks for sharing.