Apnea prose...

zart · Post by **zart** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 9:14 pm

Ok this is something I wrote tonight trying to describe my feelings about sleep apnea... Let me know what you think... critics welcome.

Apnea: The absence of breathing

I could stand beside the window
See streets lamp-lit and wet
Fading to black
Hearing night noise
Lonely sounds of moving
Toward home
Safe sanctuaries
In the midst of intimidation
Losing the way
Resisting slumber
For no good reason
I am here
And the fear is not here
It is in leaving
It is as mean and ugly
As being lost
Or anticipating lostness
Taking over like paralysis
Desiring to stand
Beside the window
Only falling
To sleep
Praying to breath
Until morning.

© Judith A. Sears
August 15, 2005

Flower51 · Post by **Flower51** » Tue Aug 16, 2005 6:19 am

A very reflective poem. I liked the thought of home being a safe sanctuary. In my life I have not always experienced home as a safe sanctuary and I have learned that the sanctuary is inside of me, placed there by God Himself. A place no one can touch or destroy or rob becaue my hope is in the unseen not in what is temporal. To me the ultimate safe sanctuary of home is being home with Him in heaven...not a place I can earn or be good enough to get to, but a place prepared for me out of love by Jesus who died to take the punishment for my sin so I could be in heaven some day and have a meaningful life on this earth as the Holy Spirit dwells within me.

I have not experienced "the fear in leaving" or the "praying to breath until morning" because as one who believes that Jesus took my sin upon himself on the cross to reconcile me with God, I look forward to being ecstatically happy when I cross the line from this earth to new life in Him....to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. Thanks for sharing your poetry from such a deep place in your heart.

Here is a newsong for you. It is especially meaningful to me right now because a friend closer than a brother who was chronically ill since childhood and just 40 yrs old went home to the Lord Sunday night:

Here I am
standing in Your grace *
standing face to face
with you Father

Hands in yours
all my sin erased
knowing I belong to You

My life secure in Yours
my heart enclosed in Yours
Your love shines through me!

And here I am
standing in Your grace
standing face to face
with my Father

Hand in yours
all my tears erased
knowing I belong with You

Knowing that You love me
knowing that You've called me
knowing I belong with You.

Love, Terry (*grace is unearned favor lavished upon us out of His love)

zart · Post by **zart** » Tue Aug 16, 2005 6:40 am

Thank you so much for your response to my writing Terry. I am also a person of faith and do not fear death because I don't see it as an end to this adventure. But I do seek treatment so that I might live to serve longer.

rested gal · Post by **rested gal** » Tue Aug 16, 2005 10:01 am

Judith... that was beautiful. You have a wonderful talent.