OT: How corporate policy is made

[alnhwrd]

How (insert despised organization name here) policy is made.

Take five monkeys. Put them in a large cage, with a banana hanging from the top of the cage in one corner, The monkeys will of course each try to take the banana. Just prior to a monkey reaching the banana, blast all five monkeys in the cage with cold water from a fire hose. Each time one of the monkeys reaches for the banana, repeat the blast from the fire hose to all of the monkeys. After a few attempts, none of the monkeys will go anywhere near the banana, and will in fact attack any of the other monkeys who tries to take the banana, because they realize that reaching for the banana is what causes the blasts of cold water from the fire hose.

Next, take one of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new monkey. This new monkey will of course, start for the banana. The other four monkeys, not wanting to be hit with the cold water, will attack the new monkey to keep him from reaching for the banana. Every time he tries, they will attack him again. By the end of the second day, the new monkey will no longer go anywhere near the banana either.

On the third day, substitute one of the four remaining original monkeys with a second new monkey. This new monkey, like the first new monkey, will immediately try to get the banana. The three original monkeys, along with the first new monkey who was never sprayed with cold water and has no idea why he is doing so, will attack the second new monkey each time he reaches for the banana, until the second new monkey stops reaching for the banana as well.

Each day, continue to substitute a new monkey for one of the original monkeys, until none of the original monkeys is left. Now you have five monkeys, none of whom has any idea why they are staying away from the banana, acting contrary to their nature, all of whom will attack any new monkey who attempts to act contrary to their adopted unnatural policy. They will teach and perpetuate this course of action to every monkey that comes in the cage and vigorously attack against any monkey who enters their realm and does not comply with the policy, having no idea why they are doing so or what the original reason is for doing so is.

And now you know how (insert despised organization name here) policy is made!!

P.S. Do not attempt this experiment at home. No monkeys were harmed in the writing of this article. The names of the monkeys have been changed to protect the innocent monkeys.

[bap40]

Love it and sounds so true!

[rtkeat]

I like the dilbert principle as well. Take the person who is most likely to foul up the day to day operation of (enter despised corporation here). In order to make sure this dosent happen place that person out of the loop. This position is called management.
For those of us who know what should be done, enlightenment is achieved when you realize that there is only one position at any company.(grab your ankles standing up...you get the picture)

[hobbs]

I like the dilbert principle as well. Take the person who is most likely to foul up the day to day operation of (enter despised corporation here). In order to make sure this dosent happen place that person out of the loop. This position is called management.
For those of us who know what should be done, enlightenment is achieved when you realize that there is only one position at any company.(grab your ankles standing up...you get the picture)

As a manager I resent this implication. I consider myself very good at being nonproductive!

[roster]

I like the dilbert principle as well. Take the person who is most likely to foul up the day to day operation of (enter despised corporation here). In order to make sure this dosent happen place that person out of the loop. This position is called management.
....

My wife tells me this is true in government also. She did some substitute teaching in our local public school system and was shocked at the incompetence in the county schools administrative office. When she finally mentioned this to some of the teachers, they all told her, "Oh yes, incompetent teachers get promoted to nice administrative posts."

[Guest]

My day job is in county government. I'm working on the theory that managers, especially those in middle management, where authority is primarily an illusion, treat their employees in a manner that stems from the way they perceive their treatment as a child.

[Wulfman]

My day job is in county government. I'm working on the theory that managers, especially those in middle management, where authority is primarily an illusion, treat their employees in a manner that stems from the way they perceive their treatment as a child.

That's NOT a theory!

The "Peter Principle" works!........in government and large corporations.

Den

[Guest]

Sorry; thought I was logged in when I put that up.

[Guest]

My wife tells me this is true in government also. She did some substitute teaching in our local public school system and was shocked at the incompetence in the county schools administrative office. When she finally mentioned this to some of the teachers, they all told her, "Oh yes, incompetent teachers get promoted to nice administrative posts."

Or they are "re-assigned" to administrative offices for "babysitting". NY City has a "rubber room" for incompetent employees. My district does not. And we have a VERY STRONG UNION. If a teacher is failing, they get sent to my office and I have to babysit them and find them menial chores to do, until their contract expires.

They are often in my way, and cannot be trusted to handle a basic alpha filing system. I've had to re-do more work, and suffer through their whining and various irritating personalities and behaviors.

I've told my boss I will NOT continue to work this way.

Wonder why we're so stressed and "incompetent"? It's because we have to babysit all the loser teachers.

Grumpily,
A Public School Administrative Secretary

[PastorDan]

You do realize that those teachers all went to public schools, right?

[Guest]

You do realize that those teachers all went to public schools, right?

Really? I think the majority of them went to private Christian academies with lower academic standards and no "No Child Left Behind" restrictions.

You started it.
B.