Contest: Best 'Out of Office' Automatic e-mail Replies

[roster]

Best 'Out of Office' Automatic e-mail Replies

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the e-mails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over....)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I've run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of Steve.

That's just to kick it off. What can you come up with? Anything cpap related?

[kteague]

1) I am not in the office to receive your message. By the time you're reading this I will be on a beach somewhere sleeping in the sun with my battery powered CPAP. I will return when I have developed gorgeous tan lines.

2) Please note that I am in the office but sleeping until my CPAP therapy becomes effective.

3) Thank you for your message. Until I master this CPAP thing I will be operating in FOG mode (Forgetful/Obnoxious/Grumpy). Be glad I will not be replying at this time.

4) I am out of the office for a long lunch break. Thanks to CPAP I feel like walking the trail in the park.

5) I will be out of the office tomorrow morning. Those who have travelled with me on business will be glad to know I will be spending tonight getting a sleep study.

6) I will be out of the office next week. If you miss my incessant lectures on the effects of obstructive sleep apnea, log on to cpaptalk.com and post a message stating you'd rather die than sleep with a machine.

[thetylerose]

These are cracking me up! Thanks for the laughs!

[alnhwrd]

"I don't want to talk to you. Go away!"

[thetylerose]

Was that a suggestion relating to the subject, or were you referring to me?

[Guest]

I was gone last week at a conference. I neglected to delete my PREVIOUS vacation responder, and just added to it.

I wished everyone a Happy Thanksgiving all last week....

LOL,
Babs

[alnhwrd]

Suggestion only, not aimed at you. I should have added "unless you are a Cpap user"

[thetylerose]

Thanks for clearing that up. Could not imagine what I had said or done... Have a great weekend.

[sleepycarol]

I teach in a small rural school. Our present administrator worked in a large district Kansas and is all into the email thing at work. We, also, have a couple of younger teachers that send us email. I am from the "old" school and would rather just go talk to them in person. They get aggravated at me because I don't always check my email everyday let alone a few times a day.

I wonder if I could (or rather dare) to put a response reply -- I really like alnhwrd's reply.

I like your new avatar rooster.

[roster]

I like your new avatar rooster.

It's a new photograph I had made because I just joined match.com.

[sleepycarol]

You should get lots of response on match.com!!

You might try eharmony as well. That is where our administrator "caught" her present hubby (out of several).