A strange realization

[dinkytink]

For years I've fought the idea of going to sleep. I'd stay up as long as possible until I had no other choice than to go to bed. Sometimes I was so tired I fell asleep sitting up... yet still had to convince myself to go to bed. Many is the time that I'd close one eye at the computer for as long as I could just to stave off sleep. It was like an irrational fear but I couldn't think of anything I was afraid of. Never really had nightmares and my bed is comfy.

Then the other night when I was doing this usual procrastination thing, I realized where that fear must have come from. Although I only occasionally woke up gasping for air, with a score of 66 and reduced oxygen, that irrational fear of sleep isn't sounding so irrational at all now. WOW.

From my first breath on cpap, I've viewed the air as life-giving. Now that I know why I feared sleep, and that things have changed, I need to replace my old fear based procrastination with thoughts of my mask full of cool, refreshing lungs full of air waiting on me in bed.

Note to self: I am officially proclaiming it a HABIT whose alarm feelings no longer have meaning and so should be phased out. Sleep is a good thing now and should be looked forward to.

[Nazareth]

Yeah i htink amny people refuse ot admit there is a problem- We think "We're touhg- we don't need no stinking machine to breath while we sleep- we'll beat this thing by 'trying harder'"

Problem is, our conditions are physical problems, and no amount of 'will power' will overcome these particular physical problems that cause sleep deprivation.

It's hard to admit somethign is wrong and that we need help. We think it's a sign of weakness of character to admit this, but it takes a very strong person to take the right steps to correct somethign no amount of will power and determination can do on it's own.

[Shari]

You and me both!!!

Note to self: I am officially proclaiming it a HABIT whose alarm feelings no longer have meaning and so should be phased out. Sleep is a good thing now and should be looked forward to.