i am terrified of my machine....please help

muld00n · Post by **muld00n** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 10:42 am

Inpjs wrote:Linda, I don't know you personally, but from your posts and the advice you have given me, I can tell that you are a wonderful, caring woman!

Keri, I just bought an OPUS mask from Linda, and she is "Top-Shelf", a really nice person.

Steve

hayeswildrick · Post by **hayeswildrick** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 11:01 am

The advice you're getting is great.

Just as importantly, I'm stopping right now as I type this message to pray for you -- that the God of all peace will give you peace so that you can receive this healing gift from his hand.

Remember that perfect love casts out all fear. I pray that you will be filled with an overwhelming sense of the love of God. Remember that in the Bible the word for the Holy Spirit is the same as the word for wind. Imagine that the breeze that comes to you through your CPAP machine is just one more way for God's Holy Spirit to fill you, empower you, heal you, and give you rest.

I'm a new CPAP user myself, but I'll be happy to pray with you any time you need extra comfort. Send me a personal message and I'll get back to you.

Jeff

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 1:30 pm

Hey there, bp4Christ.

Relax, dude. Use the thing, and I guarantee it'll go from scary to not-so-bad to routine to so-routine-you-barely-notice-you're-wearing-it.

Honest. Just takes awhile.

Pretty soon it'll be about as scary as your toothbrush, comb, or any other routine item you use every single day.

Really!

Wistful · Post by **Wistful** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 3:05 pm

You are receiving good advice. I would only add that you may find Imagining a happy place, filling it with those things and people that bring you joy and peace (mine is in a garden with God) In it, see yourself how you will be when your apnea is treated. Running, fufilling your purpose, even just feeling better. This can be relaxing and may help you eventually change your mind set.
sleep in peace!
Erin

kteague · Post by **kteague** » Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:26 am

Even some of the great men of biblical history had to deal with sleeping in the face of fear. I found the verses below helpful over 30 years ago when fear was ever present. May you too find this state of mind to be temporary.
Kathy

Psalm 4:8
Proverbs 3:24

BobF4 · Post by **BobF4** » Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:46 am

I've had my machine for over 4 years now, so that makes me a long-term hosehead, I guess.

It did take me a bit of time to get used to it, but now, it's second nature to me to just put it on and go to sleep.

I can empathize with you on what you are going through, too. My wife is a newbie hosehead, and, from what she's been saying and doing since she's had her machine, I strongly suspect she is deathly afraid of using her machine, too.

Truth be told also, I rinse out my humidifier every 2 weeks or so, and I have it at about bed-level since Day 1. Never had any problems with it, either.

bp4Christ · Post by **bp4Christ** » Wed Apr 11, 2007 10:11 am

i want to thank you all so much! i used the machine last night again, after two days not using, one day intentional not using, the other somewhat intended to use it, but fell asleep before i put it on, but last night i wore the machine, and i woke up at 7ish this morning on my own. i am actually sitting in a class right now, and i feel a little bit tired, kind of like wanting to go home and take a nap, but when i woke up, i couldn't go back to sleep, but one thing i can say is that the two times so far i have worn this machine all night, it makes it alot easier for me to get up in the morning, and i have woken up on my own, not with the alarm clock, still feeling kind of tired though both times, but felt way less tired, and not exhausted like i usually do when i wake up, i guess in time maybe i'll start feeling really rested, i hope, but the big difference i feel is not feeling absolutely exhausted, and it taking an act of congress to wake up because i fee so, and i cannot emphasize this enough, exhausted. i feel more tired when i wake up usually, than when i went to bed. but a few people on this board have already told me that it may take a while for the treatment to really start working, and the funny thing is, when i put the mask on last night, and started just watching tv until i fell asleep, it wasn't that bad, its actually kind of comforting. finally got the mask straps tight enough to where no air as far as i can tell is blowing out of the bottom of the mask. the thing does make me yawn alot, and i have to do it through my nose, if i do it through my mouth, machine actually stops, i hear something click, don't know what it is, and then when i inhale again it starts up. this thing is amazing that it can tell when i am inhaling and exhaling. i really don't want to be praying every night to the Lord that the machine won't harm me, but i am going through a rough time in my walk with God right now, and consequently i am kind of afraid of dying... but hopefully things will get better. its the anticipation of wearing it that bothers me, once i have it on its not that bad. anyways, sorry about the rant, thank you so much for all of your support, and i am so glad i found this board. i just typed cpap forum in google, and i think this is the first board i found. my therapist wears a cpap, and he said he is on a message board to, and its helped him. my next appointment with him, i am also going to address some of these concerns. i was supposed to have one yesterday at noon, but he had to go out of town. God bless you all, and thank you so much for your love and support. i feel so goofy with these fears, but its nice to know that people care, and i am not alone. thanks!
-Bryan

SelfSeeker · Post by **SelfSeeker** » Wed Apr 11, 2007 10:27 am

Bryan,

Thank you for posting an update. I was wondering about you.

Remember keep a positive attitude, see yourself sleeping peacefully with your APAP.

Yes it does take time for some of us to feel less tired. The foggy hangover headaches upon waking up vanished right away. The tiredness is still there. But I am hanging in and working on it.

In case you do not know, many of us once we start our CPAP treatment, experience the need to sleep with our CPAPs all the time, as if it is a drug or something. I wonder if that is our bodies trying to make up for all the sleep.

What you may be hearing clicking as you describe it the CFlex.

I still can not listen to the machine and breathe normally. I get it on, read for a few minutes. Turn off the light and keep breathing as if I was still reading.

kteague · Post by **kteague** » Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:00 pm

Bryan,

Wow, you're making great progress! That's good to hear.

My personal opinion (and not a very popular one in some circles) is that I wouldn't worry about dying due to not being in such a good place spiritually. When I look around I see no predictable pattern in who lives and who dies. Short of self destructive behaviors and known illnesses, I doubt there is much of a predictor of when it's over. Surely life isn't be based on merit or lack thereof - I'm still alive at 55. And most of those years I could have expected lightning to strike - even now.

Congratulations on your steps forward in adjusting to your cpap. Who knows how things will look to a rested mind and body? Hang in there.

Kathy

Wistful · Post by **Wistful** » Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:45 pm

Good for you, give yourself a pat on the back right now for your progress.
W

bp4Christ · Post by **bp4Christ** » Wed Apr 11, 2007 9:57 pm

you guys are so awesome! i have never seen a message board with so much support and care, and i can't begin to thank all of you enough! i just got off the phone with a customer, and he was so cool, and talking to this guy made my whole night, so as bad as today has been, things are starting to look up here at the end of the day. i felt so much joy talking to this guy, it sounds weird, that i kind of wanted to cry, my eyes teared up, becuase i felt so happy. i seriously can't thank all of you enough for your support and advice. i think i forgot to mention that i finally got my mask fitting right, where air isn't barely coming out of the bottom anymore where my goatee is ( i think i spelled that right), but its pretty tight..... but it didn't cut the circulation to my head off last night, so i think its fine. i must say to, that once i have the machine on and lay down, its really not that scary at all, its actually i like i think i said before, kind of comforting and pleasing almost, can't really describe it. forgot to change my water this morning, but i'll dump it out when i get home or right before i go to bed, and just rinse out the inside with water, no soap becuase i don't think it will be necessary. about the headaches, within the last few minutes i actually started getting headaches when i woke up in the morning, and they sometimes wouldn't go away, or would come and go throughout the day. but the two nights i have used the cpap fully through the night, no headache when i wake up, which is awesome. the biggest thing i noticed like i said was it felt alot easier to wake up, but i have felt kind of tired throughout the day, and actually wanted to take a nap, which is not a normal feeling for me, so that makes me think that my body is starting to want to return to a normal sleep pattern. i was also surprised at the comments about my progress, thats awesome, i didn't expect that after only using the machine two days, but you guys and girls are all wonderful, and i once again would just like to thank you so much for your wonderful care and support! God bless all of you!
-Bryan

Julie · Post by **Julie** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 2:48 am

So great to hear things are going well for you. I know the feeling you get when the mask is on - to me it's like going into a little cave where it's dark and warm and away from the world! Just wanted to mention one thing, not to worry you again(!), but sometimes after starting Cpap and feeling good for a while, the 'honeymoon' can wear off a bit - seems like it not as effective as it's been, and numbers don't look as good, etc., but hang in, because it gets better again afterward, even if you end up changing pressures again, or trying different masks, etc. It can take quite a while to level off sometimes, so keep your cool (sounds like you're already doing a great job of that) and welcome to the club .

_________________

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bdp522 · Post by **bdp522** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 5:24 am

Every one here wants to see you succeed with your treatment. We know how much it means to have a decent nights sleep. Most of us came here with problems and others helped us. Now we want to help as much as we can. Xpap does work and we will always try to help anyone having a problem. No one understands how it feels better than another xpap user. For some it is fairly easy to get used to all of this, but for some it is truly difficult. Every step in the right direction is a good thing and deserves to be noticed!

Brenda

brackstone · Post by **brackstone** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 9:18 am

Glad to hear things are going well for you with your treatment so quickly! Consider yourself blessed as some of us took much longer before we got things just right

I myself am at the point of being able to "fine tune" my sleeping now as I am just starting to get to sleep almost a year after I began my treatment. If you ever need any tips about anything this is the best place to ask them.

Everyone here stuck with me through all the ups and downs. The number one thing to remember is to never get discouraged and don't be afraid to experiment.

I'm sure if you read some of my posts from last week or two you'll see I didn't practice what I now preach!

bp4Christ · Post by **bp4Christ** » Sat Apr 14, 2007 8:37 pm

hey guys just an update, i haven't used the machine in a couple of days, that is so bad, but the last time i used it, i ended up sleeping until eleven, and woke up feeling tired and like i usually do, which is definitely abnormal from my usual nights all the way through using the mask. i need to clean it now, and that is another fear, i don't know how to clean the mask or the tube, or even the little co2 plastic thing between the mask and the tube. any advice would be great. been suffering alot of depression this week, anger, and still going through a rough spiritual period. any prayer from anyone thats a fellow christian would be great, i really feel pretty down, i am hating my job, found out i only have about 4 more months left before my contract expires, and then i am out of a job, and i am just not really enjoying my life either. have had trouble getting ahold of my dme, keep getting a weird ring at the office, and no answer, and i need the software card so the machine will monitor my progress, which i have not received yet, which is really why i am trying to get ahold of him. as far as waking up feeling tired from the mask, i think when i woke up, air was coming out of the bottom of the mask, so i must haven done somehting in my sleep to break the seal and stop the theraputic effects. one thing i don't understand however is if i use this machine lets say five hours of the night, and if i wake up and take it off, and sleep another three hours, why would i feel like i didn't use it? this doesn't make sense to me. i am just really frustrated right now, struggling financially, don't like the way i look, sick of being fat, man i am hating life it seems right now. sorry to rant on you guys, but i really need some help. my counselor went out of town and had to cancel my appointment, and i have been unable to get ahold of him, so i really feel kind of alone right now. God bless you guys though for your support.
-Bryan

i am terrified of my machine....please help

Addendum

Glad you're making progress

Mask	Humidifier

Additional Comments: 15,332 hours on old machine (RemStar Pro with C-flex; received 3/3/2003, retired 10/5/2010)