It’s all in my head

[jimmcd03]

New Cpap user going on 2 months now. I use a Dream station with a Nasal Pillow. I physically adjusted to using within 2 nights. All good there. Having been diagnosed with severe apnea when I sleep on my back and nonexistent when I’m on my side, I got the machine anyway as it was suggested and my wife (a doctor) said my snoring had gotten worse. Sleep Dr is very happy with results and compliance folks at medical supply company are ecstatic by my usage as they get paid.

Me on the other hand, I don’t feel any different physically. With snoring being my only indication of an issue, I have not experienced any magic that I see so many people describe. And to make matters worse, mentally, I can’t get used to it. I’m embarrassed having to use the CPAP. I don’t want anyone to know I have a COAP and it makes me feel like a failure. Yes I know that sounds completely silly and immature but am wondering if anyone had a similar experience and any suggestions for getting “over it “. I’m riding it out mainly because sleeping with it doesn’t impact me at all but would love a suggestion.

Thanks

[zonker]

New Cpap user going on 2 months now. I use a Dream station with a Nasal Pillow. I physically adjusted to using within 2 nights. All good there. Having been diagnosed with severe apnea when I sleep on my back and nonexistent when I’m on my side, I got the machine anyway as it was suggested and my wife (a doctor) said my snoring had gotten worse. Sleep Dr is very happy with results and compliance folks at medical supply company are ecstatic by my usage as they get paid.

Me on the other hand, I don’t feel any different physically. With snoring being my only indication of an issue, I have not experienced any magic that I see so many people describe. And to make matters worse, mentally, I can’t get used to it. I’m embarrassed having to use the CPAP. I don’t want anyone to know I have a COAP and it makes me feel like a failure. Yes I know that sounds completely silly and immature but am wondering if anyone had a similar experience and any suggestions for getting “over it “. I’m riding it out mainly because sleeping with it doesn’t impact me at all but would love a suggestion.

Thanks

welcome to the zoo!

in order to help you, we on the forum need data. you say you have a dreamstation. the following list shows three-

wiki/index.php/CPAP_models

which one is yours? i'm asking because i hope you have one that is data capable. so if you could check your machine and tell us which one, we can be more helpful.

if you have a machine that has an sd card slot, that would be great. because then you could use the free oscar software to track your sleep time. once you have that and can post it here, you'll get all kinds of advice.

in the meantime, do you know what your pressure settings are? that will at least give us something to start on.

also, see my sig for a link to the newbie thread. all kinds of advice there.

also, my sig has a link to the oscar software.

good luck!

oh! and it takes most people a bit of time to get used to it. once we have your machine settings optimized, you will be able to get those good feelings.

[Miss Emerita]

I think that initial feeling of embarrassment and failure is pretty common. I know I felt that way at first. And then little by little I found out how many people in my life use CPAP. Two neighbors on my little one-block street. My oldest friend in the world. (She is so casual about it she never thought to mention it.) My husband’s best friend. Two co-workers.

Keep your ears open and you’ll realize users are all over the place, and it’s no more unusual or interesting than needing glasses.

On a plane trip last month, my husband and I passed some time counting ResMed CPAP travel bags in the airport. We lost count at eight, nine counting mine, just in one corner of the Southwest Airlines waiting area.

[MarcieCPAPsux]

mentally, I can’t get used to it. I’m embarrassed having to use the CPAP. I don’t want anyone to know I have a COAP and it makes me feel like a failure. Yes I know that sounds completely silly and immature but am wondering if anyone had a similar experience and any suggestions for getting “over it “.

I totally get this! I've been using mine now since just before Christmas...still physically adjusting, although sooooo much better with that adjustment than I was (no more hyperventilating and panic attacks); I can actually get about 7 hours of sleep a night now with an average AHI of 3 or so. But it has and always will be mental for me. I still require Ativan to get over the hump of laying their obsessing about the embarrassment and "shame" and I'm sleeping in a separate room from my husband because I don't want him to see me with the mask. I'm hoping and praying that as the physical gets easier and more of a routine, I can work through the mental.

I also haven't seen any great improvement in my day-to-day health or life as some report; I am "waiting for the jury" on this one. Hoping as some say that it's a sleep debt that needs to be paid. Otherwise, it could be other health issues I have (MS or meds for depression)

Anyhow, I have no great advice or tips, but just wanted to say you are definitely not alone! Best of luck to you.
Marcie

[jimmcd03]

Thanks all. This is helpful. I like the eyeglass references. I guess it all a matter of perspective and mental adjustment. Also realizing that I’m the one overthinking this and, well, no one else really cares.

Here’s to a restful night of sleep!

[Goofproof]

New Cpap user going on 2 months now. I use a Dream station with a Nasal Pillow. I physically adjusted to using within 2 nights. All good there. Having been diagnosed with severe apnea when I sleep on my back and nonexistent when I’m on my side, I got the machine anyway as it was suggested and my wife (a doctor) said my snoring had gotten worse. Sleep Dr is very happy with results and compliance folks at medical supply company are ecstatic by my usage as they get paid.

Me on the other hand, I don’t feel any different physically. With snoring being my only indication of an issue, I have not experienced any magic that I see so many people describe. And to make matters worse, mentally, I can’t get used to it. I’m embarrassed having to use the CPAP. I don’t want anyone to know I have a COAP and it makes me feel like a failure. Yes I know that sounds completely silly and immature but am wondering if anyone had a similar experience and any suggestions for getting “over it “. I’m riding it out mainly because sleeping with it doesn’t impact me at all but would love a suggestion.

Thanks

Only tell people who wear glasses you use XPAP! Others with body problems will understand.

The only thing bad about needing XPAP, is needing it and being too vain to use it, or not learning how to use it correctly...

Who can say XPAP isn't helping you? Sleep Apnea is Death by a thousand cuts, It takes time to heal, healing doesn't start until the treatment is working as good as it can for you. (The Data) will show if it is, also you wake up every day older, that sounds like a winner to me Jim

[chunkyfrog]

The "magic" of cpap often takes a while.
I took close to 4 months before I noticed significant improvement.
Hopefully, your machine is one that will provide feedback and therapy suitable to your needs.

[Okie bipap]

My changes were also very subtle and slow in coming. After I had been on the machine for two or three months, it finally dawned on me that I could sit and work the crossword puzzle in the paper and not fall asleep while doing it. I could also sit and watch a movie on the TV or read a book without falling asleep. My wife, on the other hand, noticed changes almost immediately. She began feeling better and having more energy within two days. As others have mentioned, you will be surprised at how many people use machines when sleeping. I just happened to mention the machine to my neighbor, and she said she and her husband both have machines. Most people who use them just don't see a need to talk about it. It just becomes a part of their life and they use it every night without really thinking about it.

[kteague]

Does your spouse say if CPAP use has stopped your snoring? That is a bonus not to be underestimated. Yes, using CPAP can feel awkward or embarrassing, but snoring is way less sexy. Getting rid of snoring is an act of consideration for the one who has had to endure the snoring. Hopefully you too will reap some recognizable benefits.

[chunkyfrog]

Be embarrassed no longer.
"Beauty sleep" is definitely a real thing.
Lack of good, restorative sleep can affect your looks in many ways.

[Cpapian]

Possibly you benefited from having a doctor for a wife. In that she probably caught you earlier than most and before a lot of the negatives of sleep apnea had taken control of your health.

Sleep apnea is a culprit involved in many conditions through the stress it causes to the body.