Worried about CPAP - at consultation stage

[OwlCreekObserver]

My partner left me, one of the reasons he gave was my horrendously loud snoring which, as it turns out, has now been diagnosed as sleep apnea.
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How has everyone else coped with this I know my having the mask will mean for once in my life I will sleep soundly, but is it worth loneliness? Have any CPAP wearers partners got anything to say on this too? It really worries me. I'm only 42 and am really worried.

Congratulations on seeking treatment, Jennie. You will likely have a few bumps in the road ahead, as most of us have had, but I trust that you'll find even those preferable to what you've been going through.

I was fairly certain that I suffered from apnea for a few years before I finally mentioned it to my GP. After I was referred for the two sleep studies and finally got my equipment, I was pleasantly surprised at how much better I felt -- especially first thing in the morning. There have been a number of adjustments since then, but I've never seriously considered going back to the way things were, even though I've grumbled about the possibility on this forum from time to time.

There were two bonus results for me that were totally unexpected: The first was the absence of snoring. I did not realize that CPAP, in my case at least, virtually eliminated it. For many years I've dreaded travel, both business and personal, because of the embarrassment of rattling someone else's windows at night. Even when visiting relatives, we always stayed at a nearby hotel instead of staying with family. Better to keep strangers in the next room awake than to do the same to family members. On business trips I always avoided sharing rooms with colleagues for the same reason. My lovely wife, who always maintained that she was accustomed to my snoring and rarely heard it anymore, says that she is sleeping far better now. I did not anticipate that my treatment would benefit her quality of sleep also.

The other bonus has been, as a couple of others have alluded to earlier, that my wife and I share more intimate moments these days than we have in a very long time, and now it's actually without...uh...chemical assistance.

My only real regret is that I waited until I was in my sixth decade of life before I sought treatment for what has undoubtedly been a very long-term problem.

OCO

[Jennie]

I am still dreading the day that the appointment date arrives on my doormat, in the meantime I've decided to try a couple of alternative treatments than CPAP - in the hope that I will find something that will work instead of a mask.

I've ordered this thing from Canada that basically holds your tongue forward and keeps your mouth open at the same time... not sure if it will work but I figured that if I can find anything that will help then it has to be a good thing.

I'm also on a diet and exercise regime in the hope that weight loss will have a positive effect too.

I know this all sounds like clutching at straws, and to be honest, it is!!

I've asked my girls if they would sleep with me one night once the things arrive to see if these things I've ordered have any impact. I feel sorry for them but was embarassed when they told me that they wouldn't need to be in the same room as me to know! They said they would be able to hear from their rooms!!

I must admit, I can sort of see a funny side to it all, but it is a struggle. Especially as I was told on Monday morning that when I'm asleep I sound as if every breath is my last and then I have a kind of spasm which wakes me (not that I'm aware of being woken) and then it starts again. I was told that it was very scarey to observe and they were very worried about me.

So... once again, thank you all for your support and comments. It has helped but I still remain optimistic but tired!

Jennie x

[justsharon]

Something comes to mind about.........No boy is worth crying over.....and the one that is......won't make you cry.

My husband has worn ear plugs for 8 years. He refused to sleep in another room. He loves me. He wants me to be healthy. I've had my CPAP for about a month and yes it is less than romantic looking, BUT I've stopped snoring, he's stopped wearing ear plugs, we both sleep better. I feel better which makes him happy. Those that love you understand and support you. Those that don't, heck with them. It's hard being a newbie to all this, but the more you inform yourself about sleep apnea the more you realize how very very important it is to use the CPAP. So turn the lights out after the romantic stuff and strap it on, it works for me.

Best of luck,
Sharon

[Jennie]

I appreciate what you are saying, but I do think it has to be easier when all this happens and you already have a loving partner as opposed to starting over on your own.

Had I known that I had a breathing problem at night I would have sought help years ago and perhaps not been so afraid of it all as I am now.

It's so easy to say that if they love you they will not be phased by the mask when they already love you... do you know what I mean?

I'm sorry , perhaps it's just a bad week...

Thank you for taking the time to write and try to encourage.

As for my ex, yes, he probably would have left anyway, and he has now impregnated and married the other woman so she's welcome to him!