Season Greetings 2014

As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world,


I realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's ass anymore.


... If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.


... A whale swims all day, mainly eat fish, drinks water, but is still fat.


... A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while


... A tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.


And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so..


Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,

the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the

eyesight to tell the difference.


Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:


1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.


2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.


3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.


4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.


5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded..


6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?


7. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.


8. Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the hydrant.


9. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.


10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.


11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.


12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.


13. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.


14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.


15. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.


16. It's not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.


17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.


18.. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .. I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".


19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded..

Laughing is Good! Great way to start the New Year... and many so true!

But... you forgot to say OT!

I love this Goofproof, particularly the part about exercise. Thanks for posting this.

49er

Goofproof wrote:As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world,


I realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's ass anymore.


... If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.


... A whale swims all day, mainly eat fish, drinks water, but is still fat.


... A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while


... A tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.


And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so..


Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,

the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the

eyesight to tell the difference.


Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:


1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.


2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.


3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.


4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.


5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded..


6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?


7. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.


8. Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the hydrant.


9. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.


10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.


11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.


12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.


13. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.


14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.


15. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.


16. It's not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.


17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.


18.. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .. I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".


19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded..

Words to Live by O wise one Happy New Year (i pray)..high five & Rock On !

That is a great post Goodproof!

Thanks for all the good humor!

Do you all ever notice how everything has an "i" in front of it these days? iPhones, iPads, I wonder if soon we'll drive "i" cars or live in "i" houses. Heck, we might even see an "i" doctor.

It's always good to start the New Year off with a good laugh, thank you Goofproof. Don't forget to eat your black eyed peas today for Good Luck the rest of the year.

And don't forget your prunes!
Thank you.

SleepWellCPAP wrote:That is a great post Goodproof!

Thanks for all the good humor!

Do you all ever notice how everything has an "i" in front of it these days? iPhones, iPads, I wonder if soon we'll drive "i" cars or live in "i" houses. Heck, we might even see an "i" doctor.

The new product I could use " I Glasses "

OT: Did you see they now have a App to give you 24/7 access to a online doctor, to cut down on ER visits, costs about $40 per use. FYI Jim

Goofproof, you made my day!!!

Best thing I've read all day.

Best thing I've read all year.

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

Jen