Continuously Positive (not)

DavidG · Post by **DavidG** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:12 pm

I am trying to be positive about this CPAP. I was actually looking forward to starting. I tell myself I will feel better because of it. I tell myself that I am just starting and it takes some getting used to.

But the truth is, this is what I am feeling:
congested,
angry that I have this chronic condition,
tense and edgy,
claustrophobic and panicky when I wake up in the middle of the night,
unattractive, even ridiculous, to my wife,
disabled,
and more than a little sorry for myself.

Please tell me these are normal reactions to being attached to a machine all night.
-David

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:24 pm

Of course it's normal to feel this way. It takes some getting used to it and some experimenting with masks, humidifiers and such stuff. Look at how much fun you'll have experimenting. You'll have to past the anger part and please keep on posting here for help and suggestions.

slumberer · Post by **slumberer** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:52 pm

Your reaction is perfectly understandable. Your posting shows your willingness to move through these emotions honestly; this is commendable.

Educate yourself and make the changes you feel are necessary; it seems to me this CPAP thing takes a great deal of fine tuning. For myself, it all began in November when I received my
basic CPAP machine from my DME.

My experience in beginning this therapy led me to realize I needed a full face mask because of my frequent nasal congestion and that led to a couple of different masks until I settled on the current one (Ulta Mirage). Even now I am looking around for something that might be an improvement on this. Next, I realized that because I was breathing through my mouth, and my mouth and throat were getting sore, I needed a heated humidifier; so I sprang for one out of my own pocket because I did not want to wait for my HMO do make up its dinousauric mind. From frequent trips to this website and reading about how to more closely monitor my therapy using computer software, I decided to purchase another CPAP machine that will give me the data to take charge of my therapy because it is clear my HMO isn't really interested in how I progress and works on the philosophy that unless I am complaining there is no need to check on my therapy.

All this is to say that you need to get involved in making your therapy a success through education and dialogue with others who are dealing with the same condition. Everyone takes to this a little differently, but we all, it seems, take comfort that we are not in this alone and there is always someone hanging around (i.e. restedgal) who is a wealth of great information and advice.

I wish you the very best in your CPAP therapy!!! Feel free to contact me anytime you think I might be able to help.

Wulfman · Post by **Wulfman** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 4:05 pm

DavidG wrote:I am trying to be positive about this CPAP. I was actually looking forward to starting. I tell myself I will feel better because of it. I tell myself that I am just starting and it takes some getting used to.

But the truth is, this is what I am feeling:
congested,
angry that I have this chronic condition,
tense and edgy,
claustrophobic and panicky when I wake up in the middle of the night,
unattractive, even ridiculous, to my wife,
disabled,
and more than a little sorry for myself.

Please tell me these are normal reactions to being attached to a machine all night.
-David

Probably.....for some people......but then the alternatives are worse.

Personally, I was GLAD when I found out what was wrong with me, because I was tired of being tired and I knew that I could deal with a few minor inconveniences to get some of my life back. My wife would would rather have me alive than care what I look like when I sleep. I was MORE "disabled" before CPAP. The "tense and edgy" will improve in time with the therapy.

My advice is to "get over it" as fast as you can and get on with your therapy.

Best wishes,

Den

Snoozie-guested · Post by **Snoozie-guested** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 4:06 pm

I totally understand how you feel. I still have a thing about turning the other way and not putting on my headgear until the lights are out. I am finally getting to the point that we joke about it . I suffered from headaches so bad that my husband was just happy to see something not so serious wrong with me after going through MRI's, CT's, and drugs galore. Now I do not have to suffer through those nasty headache drugs. Much relief for the whole family. My husband is just happy to have me in a better mood, and sleeping all night, which in turn, allows him to be in a better mood and sleeping all night. I still get tired of waking up and fiddling with the headgear, but I go right back to sleep and feel like I am on an air drug, because I go to sleep almost instantly. It does take time, but things will get better for you. Give it time and experiment with the different mask options out there. You do not have to settle for the one that the DME provides for you, which is usually the cheapest one on the market.

Become well educated, and be in control of your treatment, and you will reap the benefits.

Best of luck to you!

Severeena · Post by **Severeena** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 6:15 pm

The first time I saw Tom's CPAP I knew exactly what it was and why he needed it.

You need to talk to your wife about how you are feeling when you hook up to your CPAP and get her response.

I now use the CPAP/APAP myself so there is a mutual support system.

ozij · Post by **ozij** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 12:27 am

But the truth is, this is what I am feeling:

congested, - many of us have found that with the right amount of humidity (do you have and use a humidifier?), and filters on the machine, our congestions gets better - maybe not during the first days but after you've found out what you need.

angry that I have this chronic condition - that's true of many chronic conditions - and though this condition's therapy, at night, is very conspicuous, the condition is there - with or without the machine. As chronic conditions go - I think it's one of the better ones to have. Perfect health of course is better.....With the therapy many of us get to feel pretty close to perfect health.

tense and edgy, - weren't you feeling like that before? It'll get better when you get used to a. the idea of having a chronic condition b. "this new way of sleeping" which starts out feeling horrid (for some of us) but becomes wonderful eventually. No more gasping, no more having to get up and go to the bathroom, no more headaches and fog that take half a morning to clear, no longer feeling that bed is a battleplace.... the machine and mask begin to stand for comfort and rest.

claustrophobic and panicky when I wake up in the middle of the night,
Are there specific thing troubling you in the equipment? Try to ask about them. Browse the forum - you'll find many practical suggestions and tips on setting up the equipment in ways that will make things more comfortable. This place has many many many more hours of hands on sleep experience with the equipment than any doctor or DME - use it.

Getting used to the whole thing is necessary - but that doesn't mean letting the mask hurt you to the point of leaving long lasting marks.

Not everyone can handle it Den's (Wulfman's) way. It takes time and patience for some of us - but it's worth it. We're here to help.

Welcome.

O.

jcarn · Post by **jcarn** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 8:33 am

unattractive, even ridiculous, to my wife,

my wife kinda digs the whole "Blue Velvet" thing .. if ya know what I mean

DavidG · Post by **DavidG** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 1:20 pm

Thanks to everone for the feedback and suggestions. I am taking notes now. Adjusting the humidifier helped a lot. That turns out to be a lot easier than talking to my wife about my feelings.
-David

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 1:56 pm

David, keeping things to yourself will not help either.

You need to know her complete concept of how she really feels and she needs to know how you feel.

The intimacy doesn't have to go out the window because you are now a hosehead. You can canoodle before the mask goes on, you can canoodle even with the mask on. Don't ask me how, but Tom use to do it.

You can even canoodle in the morning after the mask comes off.

I know men are the worst when it comes to expressing their feelings, but you need to get this off of your chest. You will be better for it and so will your wife.

Severeena · Post by **Severeena** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 1:58 pm

That last post was me Severeena, Sharon.

I had my sign in when I was typing the above message and when I posted the message gave me guest.

Gunnie · Post by **Gunnie** » Sat Jan 28, 2006 9:18 am

My hubby used to call me Darth Vader in the beginning, but it was not meant to be mean. He is as happy as I am not to be sleeping my life away. He now has a CPAP also & is struggling with it. I think it is the mask he is using. He needs something that is not all over his face. I just got a new swift nasal mask, and have been sleeping great with it. I think it might be the right one for him also. If you are a tummy sleeper, this mask might help you accept the treatment better. A CPAP pillow might also help. Hang in there! It will get better! You just need to find out what works for you, and once you work out all the kinks, you will never look back!

ScottGA · Post by **ScottGA** » Sat Jan 28, 2006 7:51 pm

I was the same way; viewed it as an awful solution to my snoring problem and I have struggled with the mask issues too. I felt it was thebeginning of my health going downhill in my 40's and that my wife would find it a turnoff. However, after getting past the adjustment phase, I enjoy knwoing my wife can now sleep without my snoring, and that I sleep deep all night and wake up rested.
I suggest keeping this in perspective; it's much milder than what some people deal with. Make sure you have the right size mask(I didn't). Spend a fewbucks out of pocket online and try a few other masks. I used to spend the first 30 min. of bedtime getting the mask adjusted, but I switched to a Swift a week ago and LOVE it. I feel less constrained, less strapped, much better with it. My nostrils are still getting used to it, but it's great for me. I nowmake it a challenge to try to make this equip. as comfortable as possible for me; it's now a game for me. I do feel it hinders bed time fun and games, but I can't worry about things I can't control at this point. Just accept that you have to wear it and get the most from it, andbe glad your problem isn't worse than it is. S

RJ · Post by RJ » Sun Jan 29, 2006 12:44 am

Guest: CANOODLE?? Once a King always a King, but once a Knight is enough.

NOLONGERTIRED · Post by **NOLONGERTIRED** » Sun Jan 29, 2006 7:57 am

David,

I think I can safely speak for most or all of the people on this board in saying that we've all dealt with some, many, or all of those issues. I believe I can also speak for the same group in saying that over time the benefits of "hosing it" will far outweigh the drawbacks and allow you to lead a richer more rewarding life. I realized it some time in my second week of therapy... I was driving home from work and not the least bit tired. It occured to me that I wasn't feeling totally exhausted mid-afternoons after lunch each day either. I even make it through an entire weekend without a nap! My wife appreciates the extra energy I now have and fully accepts the hose as a means to an end... and yea, we both laugh it off from time to time...laughter is the best medicine!

Continuously Positive (not)

Continuously Positive (not)

Re: Continuously Positive (not)

Re: Continuously Positive (not)

It's not that bad

Machine	Mask

Additional Comments: Pressure Range=7cm---15cm Avg. AHI 0.6

Humidifier

Additional Comments: Auto range 11-15

Humidifier