Strange CPAP World

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Mon Nov 07, 2005 9:54 am

I was looking over the various CPAP forums and was hit by the strange language we often employ. My mind wandered, (okay completely derailed), and I thought about when Apnea is cured and CPAP would just be a distant memory. This is what I think the Data Archeologists of 3000 would uncover as they analyzed the files:

From the beginning of the past millennium we have found evidence of a strange subculture among our ancestors. The followers showed an almost cult like fanaticism as they bought every ancient piece of paraphernalia made available to them. They were known as CPAPers which based upon the records we found meant Compulsively Paying Astronomical Prices. Many followers were using whatever resources they could to support their strange habit.

Their whole world centered around AHI, which they were strongly addicted too. This love of Tuna went way beyond normal dietary cravings as they were know to eat them even in their sleep. Through a strange combination of being less social, (lower greetings of Hi), and reduced reliance on Artificial Intelligence (AI), they fought their piscatorial habit. Even with all their precautions many still inhaled three or four fish a night.

The group fell into three categories, but all shared common rituals. They all sought the perfect Interface, which as near as we can tell involved blowing air on their bed partners and then somehow connecting their noses. One group sought to preserve their noses so they covered them with ornate masks every night. Another group was known for using nasal pillows that they hung on the wall and would sleep gently resting their noses on the pillows. The most radical group relied upon the use of nasal prongs on which they impaled themselves.

All seemed to be master plumbers and avid gardeners. Their expertise in using hoses (standard, light weight, heated and panty), was legendary. The primary use was providing proper moisture for their plants. Plumbing skills were evident as they were always encountering leaks and repairing them in the middle of the night. They also seemed to hate missing baseball games due to Rain Outs.

No one really knows what happened to this unique band of fish addicted nose worshipping baseball loving plumbers. Our speculation is that the DMEs (Devious Machine Equippers), eventually drained them of all their wealth and most died after gorging themselves on too much chicken of the sea.

klady · Post by **klady** » Mon Nov 07, 2005 10:10 am

Way to go Mike! Gazing into the future, eh?

What a great sense of humor. I really enjoyed reading your post ~ it made my day.

Thanks

deedster · Post by **deedster** » Mon Nov 07, 2005 1:21 pm

ROFLOL!!! I love your sense of humor. Keep on posting!!

Apneaat22 · Post by **Apneaat22** » Mon Nov 07, 2005 1:38 pm

Thats some pretty great stuff right there.

If only I had the time or the ability to stay awake long enough to write something like that

Keep it up

Apnea@22

ozij · Post by **ozij** » Mon Nov 07, 2005 2:06 pm

I enoyed it - as always, but please forgive a non-native speaker of English -

What is the connection between AHI and Tuna?

O.

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Mon Nov 07, 2005 2:10 pm

Ahi is pacific yellowfin tuna and great sushi

klady · Post by **klady** » Mon Nov 07, 2005 2:20 pm

[quote="mikemoran"]Ahi is pacific yellowfin tuna and great sushi

_________________

Ah, if only that were true ~ wouldn't that be yummy. 'Way to go Mike.

JimH · Post by **JimH** » Mon Nov 07, 2005 8:32 pm

I am beginning to think that Mike's machine is starting to program him to come up with all these anecdotes thus making CPAP an acceptable and welcomed means of sleep. Soon, he will convince the 'Non-Affected" to sleep with the mask anyway. Like we are being taken over. Oh no, could this be a possible plot twist on Threshold????

JimH

HappyHoser · Post by **HappyHoser** » Mon Nov 07, 2005 9:00 pm

This is getting weird. Gotta go - the voices in my head are calling!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Nov 08, 2005 7:06 am

Thanks.
O.

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Tue Nov 08, 2005 7:10 am

Want to report a good night. Held myself to two and a half tuna, kept my nose well protected, flowerbed got watered, I fixed three leaks and installed a garbage disposal last night. LOL

WAFlowers · Post by **WAFlowers** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 8:36 pm

I never was very good at plumbing. I actually flooded the basement ... twice!

However, since developing this tuna addiction I've become rather handy.

ozij · Post by **ozij** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 10:54 pm

I fixed three leaks

Mike --
You mean you've got a machine that counts leaks and you're down to three? Last I heard, leaks were reported in in Litres/sec or hour....

I actually flooded the basement ... twice

Bill--
Next time use your heated hose....
: wink:

O.

Mask	Humidifier