Facebook Etiquette and CPAP

[Sleep2Die4]

I have been using FB for four years and enjoying reading posts and seeing old friends in other parts of the country and other parts of the world. Maybe some of you with much FB experience can advise me.

This was just posted by a 60-year old female who was a neighbor of mine about 40 years ago and I have not seen nor spoken to her during this 40 years. We have FB messaged several times and we still own adjacent properties where we are absentee landlords and have messaged about packaging them to sell for commercial development some years down the road.

On my way to the sleep center. Lord I dread this!

One of the comments from one of her male FB friends (I do not know him) is:

Praying for you xxxxx. Don't let them put you on one of those machines too quick. There are a lot that will do it too.

Should I stick my nose into this? PM or post comment?

[Lizistired]

If you have to ask, probably not.

[Gazhacks]

Why Not? Im sure the lady would love to have her mind put at ease from someone who is already a sufferer, after all she will probably end up on here.

[chunkyfrog]

By all means' BUTT IN!
You are a good guy, and if you fail to speak up,
the guilt of not having done so will haunt you for a long time.
Especially if bad things happen to this lady due to fear and misinformation.

[greatunclebill]

this has nothing to do with facebook ettiquette. either you care enough to say something or you don't.

[HoseCrusher]

Jump right in. You may save her life. That doesn't mean you have to marry her, you are just doing her a favor.

[BlackSpinner]

It would probably relieve her mind greatly to hear from someone whose life has been turned around by a cpap machine. If she posted that note it means she wants people to know and give feed back, otherwise why post it?

I am always posting a link to cpaptalk for people complaining of fatigue and sleep problems. You might be amazed at the number of your acquaintances that will pipe up once you post. In the last place I lived I went out to walk the dog very early one morning and my downstairs neighbour, sucking on his cancer stick, said "Oh you use a cpap machine too! I recognize the mask marks. My wife and and use them too" and the other neighbour pipes up "Oh me too" So out of 12 apartments there were at least 4 people using cpap machines.

[MidnightOwl]

I think it's entirely up to you how personal you feel like getting just as it would be if you were talking in person. However if you want to keep your own medical information private (and if you need a job or any kind of insurance you probably should) then you should definitely keep that off of facebook.

[RationalEntropy]

A part of me says PM, but then another side of me says post publicly, complete with links, studies, etc. As long as your friend is given the message (whether privately or publicly), and the benefits are given in an understandable manner then you've done a service, I think. Also, referring your friend to many posts here can be helpful, as many folks here will gladly have enough information (links, papers and personal experience) to put minds to ease by dispelling myths.

Like many people have said, it depends on personal preference about what folks know about whether to PM, comment, or do nothing.

Just my 40% of a nickel.
~RE

[robysue]

Early in my PAP adventures, I posted something similar to what your friend posted. Two dear friends who I haven't seen in years and years along the lines that (1)they had OSA, (2) they used a CPAP, (3) the CPAP had made a big positive difference in their lives, and (4) they wished me the best of luck in making the adjustment. I had no idea that either of them had OSA and it meant a lot to me that they cared enough to want to help ease some of my anxiety about starting therapy.

So I'd say post what's in your heart and let your friend know she's not alone in facing an OSA diagnosis and that you think that CPAP is not something avoid.

[ameriken]

Jump right in. You may save her life. That doesn't mean you have to marry her, you are just doing her a favor.

Amen. By all means, speak up. What this other idiot is saying is 'if they find out you have high blood pressure, don't let them shove any of that blood pressure medication down your throat.'

And, what kind of etiquette is it if you say nothing and she listens to that bozo and then you learned she died from a stroke that was related to her apnea?

[chunkyfrog]

--As I was thinking: You probably want to be able to live with yourself down the road.
Conscience is 'a little voice inside'----a wise little voice.
Whether you believe it's a higher power, your own instinct, or fairies talking, what can it hurt to listen?
As mentioned earlier, you may choose to keep the communication private, or go public for the maximum impact.

[Elle]

She posted on FB to get reactions. The jerk reaction should not be the last word. I think either private or public communication will ease her fears of the sleep study. The communication could then continue if you are up for helping her deal with her newly diagnosed condition.

[Emilia]

An online friend, who I don't know in real life... only online in professional dealings, posted on her FB page several months ago that she was going in for a sleep study. I felt compelled to send her a private message via FB to offer my support and gave her links to this forum as well as a few other sleep related sites. She was most thankful for reaching out to her, and it turned out she didn't have OSA, but she did have UARS. I went no further in my communication with her as she was very happy with her doctor and resources... she is an extremely well educated and research-oriented person so I knew she would read everything and, for all I know, she is a member of this forum by now. Bottom line..... you know this person better than I know my cyber-friend. Supporting her as she goes through this with good information, links, etc. should be welcome and appreciated. You don't have to take it any further than that....put the ball in her court to see if she wants more information or help after that.

[WearyOne]

Being on FB a lot, both personally and for my business, I would say send her a PM telling her as much of your own experience as you feel comfortable sharing.