Losing it all

[giantred]

I have a general problem from this apnea stuff. As I mentioned before, no I'm not going to write a book, and I'm not looking for sympathy, but this apnea has controlled me to a point in which I'm seriously going to go homeless really soon. I have no motivation, I can't think, concentrate, or even want to do anything anymore. I am selfemployed and I essentially just sit in the office and I can't get going and my life is falling apart, and soon I won't be able to pay for my rent. I don't want to even try to get a job somewhere for if I did, I wouldn't be able to get through the day without falling asleep somewhere. It just won't work. CPAP doesn't help me, because of the problems I've encountered with the headgear, straps,etc. I actually think I get more sleep without it despite the fact that - my head is pounding again as I'm typing this. There is this constant like buzz, pounding going on in there. I take real deep naps in the afternoon, for 1.5 hours or so, but my head still gets like this electrictity, electric feeling and my eyes feel real heavy. Sometimes I can't even see clearly out of my eye when I wake up.
I might try sleeping outside and get use to going homeless, maybe I will get better oxygen if I sleep outside. I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

[DreamDiver]

I have a general problem from this apnea stuff. As I mentioned before, no I'm not going to write a book, and I'm not looking for sympathy, but this apnea has controlled me to a point in which I'm seriously going to go homeless really soon. I have no motivation, I can't think, concentrate, or even want to do anything anymore. I am selfemployed and I essentially just sit in the office and I can't get going and my life is falling apart, and soon I won't be able to pay for my rent. I don't want to even try to get a job somewhere for if I did, I wouldn't be able to get through the day without falling asleep somewhere. It just won't work. CPAP doesn't help me, because of the problems I've encountered with the headgear, straps,etc. I actually think I get more sleep without it despite the fact that - my head is pounding again as I'm typing this. There is this constant like buzz, pounding going on in there. I take real deep naps in the afternoon, for 1.5 hours or so, but my head still gets like this electrictity, electric feeling and my eyes feel real heavy. Sometimes I can't even see clearly out of my eye when I wake up.
I might try sleeping outside and get use to going homeless, maybe I will get better oxygen if I sleep outside. I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

You know, I wrote something about dreams and REM sleep in your other post about the buzzing, but the more I think about, after reading this post, you probably need to see a doctor, maybe an internist who can look at the overall picture and decide whether you need to see a neurologist or a sleep doc. I can identify with the lack of motivation, and I hope you will be able to find a way past this soon.

[giantred]

thanks for the concern and the reply. It feels like something is attacking my brain.

[Pugsy]

Please see a doctor as quickly as you can. What your are describing needs direct attention. While we can offer encouragement and well wishes and even ideas, it really would be best if you tell your doctor what you have said here.

[giantred]

Thanks, but I gave up on my doctor. The doctor made me feel like my problems are in my head, which they are, at least I have a sense of humor, but after that feeling, I decided not to go back, and since the doctor probably put that on my record, I'm not going back. Thanks for your concern.

[DreamDiver]

Thanks, but I gave up on my doctor. The doctor made me feel like my problems are in my head, which they are, at least I have a sense of humor, but after that feeling, I decided not to go back, and since the doctor probably put that on my record, I'm not going back. Thanks for your concern.

Dude - it's all about connection. Visit with your clergyman. You need to let someone who lives near you know exactly what's going on in your life so that you can get medical help. You can do this.

[Goofproof]

according to your pic not text in your profile your machine has full data, with the software and reader you can find the answer, unless it's DeNile. With a nasal mask your treatment can fail, that's why the software helps. Leak rates kill treatment. Jim

[Kahfree]

Thanks, but I gave up on my doctor. The doctor made me feel like my problems are in my head, which they are, at least I have a sense of humor, but after that feeling, I decided not to go back, and since the doctor probably put that on my record, I'm not going back. Thanks for your concern.

Your right. Your not going back. Never go back. Never go back to the doctors that don't have the time for you to care enough about how or what your feeling. Do not go back to the very people who do not take what you have to say seriously. Instead, GO FORWARD. Stop worrying about what you have NOT done and cant do on the CPAP and instead focus on what you will be able to do when you stop looking back at all the negative aspects and the lack of help you feel you have gotten. Do you know how may doctors there are in the world? Yep...and your not going to go back to that ONE who made you feel bad for speaking up about your health and how you feel. FIND A NEW ONE.

Tomorrow, GO AHEAD and embrace that cpap machine. Talk to it, tell it how much you want it to change your life. Imagine yourself successful not only in your CPAP therapy, but in your work and home life. If you are always dwelling on the negative side you will always be there. As with anything in life, its all about choices. If you want this to work, it will, but that depends on your participation. I know its easy to get depressed about things, and we all get sad and feel hopeless when things do not excel how we want them to, but you will prevail in the end.

I have been on cpap since January of this year, and still am not getting enough sleep. I too feel like I sleep more without the machine, but...in all reality, I am not. I know I am waking up with Apneas. The choice I make is only going to affect me....wait, is that right? No its not. The choice I make affects my entire family and when I place that mask on my face at night to go to bed, I am making a statement. I am telling my body that I am more powerful than a plastic mask and air. I will rise above the struggles I have on a daily basis with accepting the cpap and its usage. Its not easy to sleep with it, but each time I do, even if for a little bit, it is increasing my chances of success.

So, find another doctor, and another and another till you find the one what will be your health partner for the rest of your life. Its a relationship like any other. If you don't click, you wont stick. Remember you are more powerful than the cpap that sits next to your bed each night.

[robysue]

I have a general problem from this apnea stuff. As I mentioned before, no I'm not going to write a book, and I'm not looking for sympathy, but this apnea has controlled me to a point in which I'm seriously going to go homeless really soon. I have no motivation, I can't think, concentrate, or even want to do anything anymore. I am selfemployed and I essentially just sit in the office and I can't get going and my life is falling apart, and soon I won't be able to pay for my rent. I don't want to even try to get a job somewhere for if I did, I wouldn't be able to get through the day without falling asleep somewhere.

The OSA may not be your only medical problem that creates problems with lack of motivation, inability to concentrate, and the hopelessness of seeing your life fall apart and the profound feeling that you can do nothing to prevent it. In particular, have you been screened for depression?

It just won't work. CPAP doesn't help me, because of the problems I've encountered with the headgear, straps,etc. I actually think I get more sleep without it despite the fact that - my head is pounding again as I'm typing this. There is this constant like buzz, pounding going on in there.

How long have you been trying to make CPAP work for you?

What have you done to try to address the mask issues?

How often do you sleep with CPAP? How often do you try to sleep with CPAP?

I am not a doctor, but it sounds to me like the pounding headache is most likely being caused by O2 desats from the untreated apnea when you sleep without the mask. If so, the headaches will get WORSE not better, the longer you sleep without the mask.

I take real deep naps in the afternoon, for 1.5 hours or so, but my head still gets like this electrictity, electric feeling and my eyes feel real heavy. Sometimes I can't even see clearly out of my eye when I wake up.
I might try sleeping outside and get use to going homeless, maybe I will get better oxygen if I sleep outside. I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

Do you use the CPAP for the naps? If not, then the untreated apnea may be causing the way your head feels when you wake up. The untreated apnea (as well as other medical conditions such as depression) may well be causing your eyes to feel heavy---since that's a sign of excessive daytime sleepiness.

You need professional medical help: As other posters have said, if you can't stand the thought of going back to your (current) doctor, you need to find another doctor ASAP.

[elkavoxaccordion]

you could try a sleeping medication like ambient until you get use to cpap therapy..... anything is healthier then to not sleep.
what specific troubles are you haveing with the mask.....i use to have leaking problens ..sore nose....puffing cheeks.. uncontfortable straps...air in stomach... and was able to overcome all of it by using a quattro full face mask along with remzzzs mask pads.... there is a lot of masks and things to try..... you could also try prayer
blessings
eddie