CPAP machine records alien abduction!!!!

Last night, I was abducted by aliens. This has never happened to me before and I don't have any memory of the events. But then again, aliens erase your memory when they return you back to earth, don't they? Fortunately, the whole episode was recorded in vivid detail by my machine. So here it is:



2:15am: The aliens deploy their tractor beam. The ions in the beam interfere with the machine which stops recording all data except flow.

2:18am: My body finally reaches the spaceship hatch. Yes, I know 3 minutes is a long time, but these particular aliens must have been using a pretty old version of the tractor beaming software. And being millions of light years away from home, their data connection is probably too slow for updates. Or it could be that the ship was really far away, in which case 3 minutes might have been pretty fast. Anyway, the machine stops recording all data at this time.

2:22am: For 4 minutes, the machine records no data whatsoever. What happened during those 4 minutes is better left to the imagination. But I have noticed some very subtle changes in my body since last night. For instance, when I went to bed my hands were very dry. This morning, they weren't so dry. Maybe they cured my apnea too.

2:25am: I'm back in my bed and the machine starts recording all data as normal.

Assuming that they didn't make use of time-altering technology, whatever the aliens did only took 10 minutes from beginning to end, including travel time. Now, try getting that kind of service from your local ER. If that, in itself, isn't proof of what happened, I don't know what is.

Now, I'm sure some of you have more "rational" explanations for what happened. And since this is a free country, I invite you to share them. However, I can't promise not to laugh at how implausible or misguided they are going to sound.

I concur. It's definitely alien abduction. Why, oh why, couldn't they take Charlie Sheen instead?

Why didn't the software register the probing? Jim

Let us know if you get flowers or a thank-you note later in the week.

I've heard rumors that aliens like to fake power outages when abducting S9 users. Seems they know we are high intelligence, having chosen the S9 Autoset, so they realize extra effort is needed to hide their activity. It happened to me last week. You must have been a better lab rat, though. They only kept me for 30 seconds.

I toll ya I toll ya, Get something that runs on a 12V battery and you would have slept thru the whole ordeal and had the data, Anal probe and all. Now you have to go thru life wondering what they REALLY did. Of course you could have bought a 24v battery or 2 12v connected in parallel and there wouldnt be any missing data.

Really, The clock in the cpap cpu runs on a BATTERY. The power was disrupted preventing data but the clock kept on ticking. Thus your missing time, er data. Those batteries are supposed to last 5 years by the way so you could have been gone much longer.

Chrisp

BernieRay wrote:I've heard rumors that aliens like to fake power outages

I know I'm being mocked. Don't you think that aliens faking a power outage was the first thing I thought of? But the data outage only lasted 4 minutes out of 10. During the first and last 3 minutes of the "event", the machine still recorded flow data.



Besides, none of the other electronics around the house appeared to have been tampered with.

Obviously, aliens can't fake power outages very well.

Seriously, in order for minute ventilation to be zero, either the respiratory rate and/or the tidal volume had to be zero, indicating that you weren't breathing. Since we wouldn't be having this conversation if you had actually stopped breathing for 10 minutes (or even 6 minutes), something had to have gone wrong with your S9 writing the data to the card. Or something happened during the download. Either way, a software bug could be responsible.

I have seen something similar happen with autostart, but the flow with no minute ventilation only occurs between the time that the S9 detects breathing until it is able to measure respiratory rate and tidal volume, usually about 5 seconds in my case. The reverse also happens when autostart is relied upon to turn the machine off, but that is usually just 2 seconds or so for me. Since it takes at least 2 breaths to be able to determine a respiratory rate, this offset makes sense. I've never had autostart turned off, so for all that I know, this may happen when it is turned off as well.

It doesn't explain your 10 minute blimp, but the similarities are interesting.