Housebreaking Your Mask (Humor)

Having suffered through a dozen or so masks, I have come to one conclusion. A new mask is no different than a new puppy. Sure it looks good on the website and some of us even look forward to its arrival. But when finally get it home it leaks all over the place and makes strange noises at night to keeping you up. If you are crazy enough to let it into the bed, it doesn’t allow you sleep in any comfortable position and you might even wake up with a wet face. Until you train it, or it trains you, you will be driven to the brink of insanity (a very short commute for some of us). So I thought it might be beneficial to those contemplating a new mask to outline the necessary training techniques to bring that silicone puppy under control.

Step 1. Research your breed of mask as much as you can. Talk to owners who have been attached to their pets for some period of time. They will give you ideas on what may work and any particular quirks of the pedigree. Keep in mind that not every one will fit your particular needs and it is better to decide that before you bring that puppy home or it just might end up chewing on your nose.

Step 2. Consider the following when making your selection: Decide whether it will be an inside or outside addition to your nose. Determine if its future abode is a mansion or apartment sized. Great Danes just won’t fit into a doghouse the size of a Chihuahua. Don’t forget that feel is as important as anything else. I mean there is a significant difference between a fluffy Pomeranian and a Chinese Hairless. Hopefully you will be sleeping with your choice for a long time, so make sure you can stand it when it snuggles next to you.

Step 3. Okay you made your decision, maybe even had it checked out by an expert and now it is finally home. Before you can curb its nastier habits, you have to teach it that you own it not that it owns you (this is why I did not use cats in my analogy). Until you teach to sit or lie down properly you will never get it to stop leaking. So read the breeders manual and find out if it needs to be tied up tight or given freedom to roam. One thing I know that really helps is to making sure it has a clean dry spot to settle into.

Step 4. In regards to this training process, remember patience isn’t a virtue it is a necessity. Whoever provided you your new bedside companion most likely won’t be willing to take it back if you made an error in judgment. You need to give it a fair trial before you end up shipping it off to the pound. Sometimes all it needs is time for you to get used to it and for it to feel at home.

Step 5. Keep in mind it isn’t always your new addition’s fault. If it is raining, don’t blame it for shaking a few drops on you. You need to look elsewhere for the source of precipitation. Adjusting the humidity might just take care of that problem.

Step 6. You have tried everything and it is almost trained but not quite there. One solution may seem drastic, but might be necessary. It is often found that altering your pet can change its behavior. If you have any doubts about this, be sure to contact other owners who may have performed such surgeries on their masks. Keep in mind some alterations are permanent and should not be applied without some thought.

Step 7. If it turns out that it broke you before you broke it in, it is okay to go out and try something else. Just keep in mind what you did like about your new mask and try another that might be similar but from a different source. Also before you lock it away somewhere, consider that there might be others able to give it a good and useful home.

Don’t give up. Because I know you will sleep better once you find your new best friend.

And here I was, missing your humor and wondering what you were at nowadays....

Brilliant.

And soooo true.

And considering our mistress of mask training is a puppy trainer as well makes it all the better!

Thanks, Mike.
O.

I prefer the hairless masks myself ... my face is already hairy enough as it is

Thanks from me too, Mike!

What a great way to think about the whole mask adventure!

I've just been feeling grumpy trying to get used to a FFM and having gone through about 4 loaners think I'm finally settling in with one. So your analogies are just perfect for me right now.

Mindy

Mike, thank you so much. I have not laughed so much in a long while. Since I'm still trying to get my Activa to seal for more than a few hours (and thanks for another post regarding that here, will try those suggestions also).

You've hit the nail on the head for sure, definitely have a gift with words!

GREAT LAUGH............

ALL Trueizams......

NEEDED that this evening -- It's Deffinetly Monday!!

BERT

It won't stop the leaks, but it does cut down on the whining,(the mask or puppy), not the wifes. Sleep with a old alarm clock near.

You can't train some masks, you have to keep them outside, (or in the back of a drawer).

Thanks for the laugh, again. Jim

As a long time "dog" professional.... gotta say... Mike you got it all perfect.!!!!

An instant classic that's being added, as you read this, to your other gems!!

LINKS to mikemoran humor
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Thanks for the laughs Mike, as always your humour isappreciated by all of us. Don't be such a stranger we all need humour in our lives.

Now all of my troubles adjusting to this therapy make sense to me!

I am a cat person.

Susan

Step 2. Consider the following when making your selection: Decide whether it will be an inside or outside addition to your nose.

.......this is just too funny, always a bone of contention with myself and friends. Like RG I too am a long time dog professional and found your analogies hilarious.

Susan, you've given him food for thought. I can see future MM writings on the comparisions of cats to DME's, niether one can be trained, etc., etc.

This is priceless!

I laughed and laughed.

Where is mikemoran today?

Thankyou!
DaveL

So glad this thread was re-animated.
Mike is(was) a treasure.

I quite enjoyed that. I wish I'd read it when I first got on cpap. I didn't even know there were different breeds and I thought I was stuck with the breed I had. And I wanted to throttle that breed. The dog pound would have been too good for it.