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General Discussion on any topic relating to CPAP and/or Sleep Apnea.
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Jeanie821
 
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Normal to be angry when newly diagnosed?

Postby Jeanie821 on Fri Jul 27, 2007 11:16 am

I was diagnosed less than a month ago. The first couple of weeks weren't too bad emotionally - but now I'm furious. I have other medical problems to begin with, and this just feels like the straw that broke the camel's back.

I've even given up the idea of dating. What do I have to offer someone - a life insurance policy?

Is it normal to be this angry?
Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you , declares the Lord; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

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Stefernie
 
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Postby Stefernie on Fri Jul 27, 2007 11:21 am

http://www.cpaptalk.com/cpaptalk-articl ... -good.html

Read this. It talks about the emotional stages that you go through when you get diagnosed and start treatment.

It's a big change in your life, so it's understandable to have feelings about it.

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Treesap
 
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Postby Treesap on Fri Jul 27, 2007 11:22 am

Jeanie,

I wasn't angry until I tried the 4th mask. I threw it against the wall and cried like a baby. Anger and frustation were overwhelming me with this idea that I had to wear something on my face in order to sleep "normally".

It goes away. Especially when you start feeling better fromr the CPAP therapy, you will be thankful. I had terrible tension headaches which would knock me out for 3-4 days every few weeks. My quality of life was terrible. I had depression and lack of energy. I'm feeling much better now and have found a mask which works for me. I think there's a process each person goes through when they get diagnosed with OSA.

This message board is a wealth of information and HELP. The people here are kind generous and compassionate. So you've come to a GREAT place. Hang out here, and you will get some helpful tips from people who understand.

(((((Jeanie821)))))

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Stefernie
 
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Postby Stefernie on Fri Jul 27, 2007 11:27 am

Treesap wrote: Anger and frustation were overwhelming me with this idea that I had to wear something on my face in order to sleep "normally".


I felt the exact same way.

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Postby drummergirl410 on Fri Jul 27, 2007 11:44 am

Hello and welcome!

I am also like you in the fact that I have several medical conditions. SA is just another addition to a loooong list of conditions I have. I was affected at birth by a condition called DeMorsier's syndrome. It caused me to be born almost blind. It also played havoc with a lot of the body's other functions. I have hypothyroidism, hypopituitaryism, heart paliptations, asthma, and severe allergies. My current therapies/interventions include several meds taken every day by mouth, allergy shots, hormone replacment injections, and now APAP. I currently keep a family physician and four specialists on board. It can really bum you out to have a lot of things going on. I think it's normal to feel frustrated or angry. My biggest motivator is knowing that me feeling better and being able to live a full life will be the end result. If I let something go, I usually end up getting sick or not feeling well as a result. I've seen a lot of improvment over time in the way I'm feeling. Things continue to get better for me. Because of this, I stick with it even if it means doing a few extra things that most people don't have to do. Now I feel very blessed to have good doctors and availability the the interventions. I also find having a set daily routine helps me. It gives me some staibilty and I'm not as apt to forget to do things.

This forum is a wonderful place to talk about things that are bothering you in regard to your sleep. Also talk with the doc. about how you feel, if you feel comfortable with him/her. Just venting to a friend with a willing ear can help. There are also support groups in some lcoations for SA. Whatever you do, don't let it just stay bottled up inside you. Find someone you feel comfortable talking about it with.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers!
Hugs!


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Babette
 
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Re: Normal to be angry when newly diagnosed?

Postby Babette on Fri Jul 27, 2007 12:00 pm

Jeanie821 wrote:I was diagnosed less than a month ago. The first couple of weeks weren't too bad emotionally - but now I'm furious. I have other medical problems to begin with, and this just feels like the straw that broke the camel's back.

I've even given up the idea of dating. What do I have to offer someone - a life insurance policy?

Is it normal to be this angry?


I don't know. I DO KNOW I WAS ABOUT HOMICIDAL FOR THE FIRST SIX WEEKS.

I was furious at EVERYTHING, and EVERYTHING was just such torture... I had to go on Provigil just to stay awake enough to keep my job. And yes, I got my annual personnel evaluation during this period. :?

Hang in there, try everything that looks like it might work, even some things you don't think will work. I tried a mask I was certain WOULDN'T work, because a friend had it for trade, and really wanted a mask I had, and it turned out to be the mask of my dreams.

Keep on trucking, vent to us here, use the online chat to vent and ask questions, and KNOW WE ALL UNDERSTAND AND SYMPATHIZE AND YOU HAVE A SAFE PLACE HERE.

Big hug,
Barbara

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Babette
 
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Postby Babette on Fri Jul 27, 2007 12:02 pm

Oh, and put in "dating" as a search topic, and realize you are NOT ALONE in your thoughts about that, and some VERY NICE perspectives from men here who are dating/married/living with cpap users.

It got better for me. I have faith it will get better for you, too.

Hugs,
B.


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Mask: Nasal Aire II Prong CPAP Mask with Headgear
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Additional Comments: Started XPAP 04/20/07. APAP currently wide open 10-20. Consistent AHI 2.1. No flex. HH 3. Deluxe Chinstrap.
I currently have a stash of Nasal Aire II cannulas in Small or Extra Small. Please PM me if you would like them. I'm interested in bartering for something strange and wonderful that I don't currently own. Or a Large size NAII cannula. :)

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Postby Goofproof on Fri Jul 27, 2007 12:15 pm

Anger, That doesn't sound very productive. If you were told th exact time of day and where you were going to be hit by a bus, would you be angry? Or would you gladly use that information to make sure you weren't in the area so you would be protected from the big bang.

None of us like having problems, but by treating Apnea, we are in a position to by-pass or delay a bunch of future problems down the road.

We can ignore what's wrong with us but all we get is more and bigger trouble, face it, life isn't perfect, neither are we, and we aren't going to get out of it alive. We can only hope to make the best of it. :!: Jim

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kteague
 
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Anger, Dating and Cpap

Postby kteague on Fri Jul 27, 2007 12:56 pm

I didn't experience anger at my diagnosis - had none to spare cause I had too many reasons to be angry at how unnecessarily complicated getting successfully established in the treatment can be. ARGH! As far as the diagnosis, it was my lifeline, my reason for hope.

Just yesterday I was again challenging a thirtysomething friend to get a sleep study. He's resistant, even though he has a family history of heart trouble, and his heart is already enlarged. His symptoms are classic for sleep apnea. I was telling him about the people on here that are concerned about things like dating and romance on cpap. He gave me this incredulous look and asked, "why would that make any difference - who would not date someone just because they sleep with a mask?" Just thought I'd share one man's perspective.

Kathy


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Postby Snoredog on Fri Jul 27, 2007 1:24 pm

you will eventually figure it out that OSA was probably the root cause of most of your other ills and they will subside.

I look at this therapy akin to going to wall-mart to that fine shoe section, finding a cheap pair of chinese slip-on deck shoes for $3.99 with the plastic thingee still holding them together, slipping them on and trying to walk.

At least you can take them off in the morning!

As for being frustrated? I compare it to an old classic 56 chevy, I figure most ole broads my age have about 50 dents by now, those on the hose only about 48 :)

someday science will catch up to what I'm saying...

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jskinner
 
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Re: Normal to be angry when newly diagnosed?

Postby jskinner on Fri Jul 27, 2007 1:33 pm

Jeanie821 wrote:Is it normal to be this angry?


Yes I think so. Adjusting to the idea that you have this illness is not easy for everyone.
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amandalee
 
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Postby amandalee on Fri Jul 27, 2007 1:46 pm

Oh yeah, I can tell you all about being angry. Also depressed, frustrated, filled with despair, etc.
The source of my anger was that none of my doctors considered testing me for OSA sooner. Hmm, if I was the doctor and a (then) 22- (now almost) 27-year old, otherwise healthy woman came to me complaining about being tired all the time, I would have her tested for sleep apnea before I'd write her problem off as "depression" and test a series of antidepressants on her.
I'm angry because I feel like I've been treated like a lab rat, first by a series of GPs, then a psychiatrist who never listened to me, even though I always said "I don't really feel depressed, just so tired. I'd be in a better mood if I wasn't always so tired."
I agree with the person who said that many of your other medical problems are probably caused by sleep apnea. I'm finally getting my CPAP next week and I'm betting that the treatment will help with my so-called "depressive" symptoms. At the very least, even if your other medical conditions aren't caused by OSA, it isn't helping them either, so getting your treatment optimized should at least help, even a little.
And as for dating, same here. I haven't been on a date in ages because I'm just too tired to try and have any kind of social life. And explaining about the CPAP? Not really looking forward to that either. :roll: I feel your pain.
But as for being angry, you have every right to feel that way. Have you thought about writing in a journal? It's a nice opportunity to vent all the anger and get it out of your system. No one ever has to see it but you, so if you're really mad at someone, you can just write about it, and no one's feelings get hurt. It can also be helpful for keeping track of symptoms, so you have some kind of record when you go to dr's appts, etc.
Hang in there!


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skjansen
 
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Postby skjansen on Fri Jul 27, 2007 1:50 pm

After being misdiagnosed for over 18 years I was frankly relieved.

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Re: Normal to be angry when newly diagnosed?

Postby DreamStalker on Fri Jul 27, 2007 1:53 pm

Jeanie821 wrote:I was diagnosed less than a month ago. The first couple of weeks weren't too bad emotionally - but now I'm furious. I have other medical problems to begin with, and this just feels like the straw that broke the camel's back.

I've even given up the idea of dating. What do I have to offer someone - a life insurance policy?

Is it normal to be this angry?


I'm not a religious person ... but you may want to change your signature to something that fits your attitude ... or you could keep your signature and change to a more positive attitude. :D

Maybe I'll just never understand religion :shock:
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Re: Anger, Dating and Cpap

Postby Goofproof on Fri Jul 27, 2007 2:03 pm

kteague wrote:I didn't experience anger at my diagnosis - had none to spare cause I had too many reasons to be angry at how unnecessarily complicated getting successfully established in the treatment can be. ARGH! As far as the diagnosis, it was my lifeline, my reason for hope.

Just yesterday I was again challenging a thirtysomething friend to get a sleep study. He's resistant, even though he has a family history of heart trouble, and his heart is already enlarged. His symptoms are classic for sleep apnea. I was telling him about the people on here that are concerned about things like dating and romance on cpap. He gave me this incredulous look and asked, "why would that make any difference - who would not date someone just because they sleep with a mask?" Just thought I'd share one man's perspective.

Kathy


We all wear masks of some kind, It's just that some of us have hoses attached to them. :) Jim


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Maturity is the ability to stick with a job until it's finished; the ability to do a job without being supervised; the ability to carry money without spending it; and the ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.

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