From the file of “Myth Blowers” we bring you a few myths that have been completely blown through thorough research and semi-scientific experimentation in our labs:
CPAP Was Invented In Australia – While it is true that the modern CPAP was developed by our innovative cousins Down Under, there is some question if they came up with the idea in the first place. Our research shows that the idea may have originated after World War II, when the It-Won’t-Pass-Gas Mask Company found itself with warehouses full of surplus masks. After failing to open up the home market with their “Flatulence Defense” ad campaign they turned their R&D resources to the field of snore suppression. Partnering with the vacuum manufacturer “Electro-sux” the developed the “Snore Sucker” which purportedly would draw the snores out of your offending bed partner. While the side effect of tongue elongation seemed to spur product sales, eventually the complaints regarding face Hoover-ing soon killed this sucker. According to the myth one of these systems found its way to Australia, where due to the reverse Coriolis Effect (toilet flushing counter clock wise), it blew instead of sucked and thus CPAP was born.
Inflate For Pleasure – This ever expanding myth regarding CPAP abuse is constantly showing up on various Internet forums. According to the myth, one diminutive male decided that size did matter and maybe a little air power could help. So he cranked up the pressure and soon graduated from the standard CPAP hose to one from a dryer vent. In the interest of science (not that we needed it), we at “Myth Blowers” decided that this was one myth truly worthy of our scrutiny. In experimentation we found that the average CPAP does not have enough wind power to appreciably increase any appendage. So to truly blow this myth we brought out the industrial air compressor. Let us just say that not only did we not achieve stallion status, but the wind burn alone was enough to keep the horse in the barn for a couple of months. (Do not try this at home).
The Ballistic CPAP – As told in this sub-urban legend, one unfortunate hose head overfilled his humidifier which in turn sent his pressure sky rocketing. If it wasn’t for a kink in his hose he might have achieved balloon lift off with his head. Instead the kink caused enough back pressure to blow the CPAP through his wall. Definitely not the kind of wake up call any of us want to experience. To recreate this we closed off a hose, filled the humidifier to the brim and turned our CPAP on. While pressure did build, the weight of the water was too much to let it get airborne. The second part of the myth was that it blew through the wall. To test this we attached a CPAP to a long rope and swung it at the wall like a wrecking ball. We must say that CPAP manufacturers have done their job well in creating built in obsolescence, in no event did the CPAP survive initial impact. Now if only we can convince our insurance companies that it was an overfilled humidifier that caused it.
That’s it for this episode. So keep sending your myths in and we will see what kind of bodily harm we can cause ourselves in the interest of science.
CPAP Myth-stakes (Humor)
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thanks for the homour
Thanks for the humour. Your homorous posts make my day. Keep up the good work. We all need a little laughter in our lives
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