My husband thinks there is no such thing

[KitKat74]

I had a sleep study test this past Saturday night (23rd, Nov.). I went to get my results on Monday and sure enough, I stop breathing about 14 times an hour (10-53 seconds each time). I have not received my machine yet due to insurance stuff. Anyways, my husband seems to think the reason I am always tired is because I sleep too much. I agree, some people are tired because they sleep too much but this is not the case for me. I had the doctor give me a copy of the results and I showed them to my husband. To say the least, my husband feels it is a scam, a way for doctors to make money. How do I make him realize this is not a "scam" or a way for the doctor to "make money"?

Also, are the machines loud? My husband wakes up to every sound no matter how big or small. Will this machine cause a problem for him to sleep? If so, any suggestions?

Thanks,
Cathy

[Stormynights]

Spousal support is very important. If he complains move him to another bedroom. The machines now are very quiet but getting used to the mask and machine can be very frustrating even with support from your partner. Your health is very important. Don't take chances with it.

[kaiasgram]

Hi Cathy, welcome to the forum. People with untreated sleep apnea are often extremely tired and they do "sleep too much" because their quality of sleep is so poor -- the body is desperately trying to get the sleep it siimply can't get. I suspect that when you get your cpap therapy underway both you and your husband will see the difference.

If you had (or could buy or borrow) a pulse oximeter that can do overnight recordings you could wear it for a few nights while you're waiting to get the insurance issues resolved. With breathing cessations up to 53 seconds I imagine you have some pretty deep oxygen desaturations during the night. The oximeter data should put any of your husband's doubts to rest.

The newer machines are generally not loud. I think the ResMed S9 machines are the quietest from what I've read. For those with super sensitive hearing, or their bed partners, a white noise machine or fan in the room can often be enough of a sound buffer for both to sleep fine. In cases where someone has been disturbed by snoring, the cpap machine is a welcome fix.

Stick with us here and we'll help you with whatever questions you and your husband have.

[letsride]

Hello
The ResMed machines are very quiet.
After you are doing your therapy for a while, you will feel the difference and that is when he will be a believer.
No matter what stick with it.

[kteague]

Hello and welcome. If your husband doesn't believe the report in black and white, he's likely not going to be easily convinced. It may take an "I can show you better than I can tell you" approach. Carefully assess how much you should share with him as you go through this adjustment. It's easy for this to become our whole focus and an already resistant partner can become resentful of something that's all consuming when they are not yet convinced of the condition or need for treatment. We're here to help you with any challenges adjusting to the treatment. Once your treatment has been optimized and you begin to sleep better, after some recovery time, you probably will begin to sleep less yet feel better. Maybe then his perspective will change. Yes, this as well as everything in the medical field is ripe for abuse and money gouging. That does not change the reality of the diagnosis or the need for treatment. Good luck going forward.

[zoocrewphoto]

You could suggest an experiment.Tell him to set an alarm off 14 times an hour ALL night and ask him how useful that sleep would be.
Also get the summary that shows the graphs. It should show your sleep cycles (mine did not even reach deep sleep, let alone REM). It should also show your oxygen level dropping, which means your organ are not receiving enough oxygen. This puts you at risk f heart attacks and stroke.

Here is mine. I have more events than you, but mine are much shorter. You should be able to get something similar for you.

http://www.zoocrewphoto.com/apap.htm

[gasparama]

It's difficult to stress the improvement in the quality of my life once I began CPAP therapy. The sleep doc sent home a recording oximeter to use as part of the diagnosis before I could even have a sleep study done. My oxygen was level was hanging around in the low 70's and that's so dangerous. At the time, I would get up easily at 5:00 which made me think I was just an industrious person, ignoring the fact that most mornings would find me on the sofa snoozing away after my early coffee and chores. I slept through every road trip. My husband's joke was that every time we got in the car, I was asleep before we drove past the nearest convenience store. I even nodded off at the wheel on the way home from work one day. After only two nights with my machine, things changed. I got up early on a Sunday morning and hit the sofa expecting to pass out as usual, but didn't. The therapy was already beginning to make a difference.

Hopefully, you won't need to explain a thing once you start sleeping through the night with a higher level of oxygen and the needed rest. Even though it can be a challenge to find the best mask for you and to just get used to the hose, it's all so worth the effort and the cost. And it won't be long before you won't be sleeping off and on all day and missing out on life. Your husband isn't educated about apnea so I don't blame him for having his doubts. But I'll bet he will be a believer within a short time when he sees the difference in your life. My husband does not ever want me to sleep without that machine. His life is better because I am on CPAP therapy.

Jane

[SleepyBobR]

My brother in law was the same. He said the whole sleep apnea thing was an ailment made up by the medical community to sell expensive studies and equipment. He told me I was the victim of a legalized scam and that I was stupid to fall for it. Meanwhile, he had all the classic symptoms - snoring, daytime tiredness, irritability, high blood pressure, sleeping sitting up in a chair in front of the TV till 2am. I told him that he should have it checked and he laughed at me. Then he had some heart issues and his cardiologist told him to have a sleep study. Well, turns out he had severe OSA, worse than mine. The kind where they switch from diagnostic to titration during the first study. Now, needless to say, he is a convert.

I have little patience for this and can't imagine what I would have done had my wife taken this attitude when I was going through the process. I have no suggestions but you have to put your health first. Kick him out of the bedroom if he doesn't get onside.

[Guest]

Of course its a way for doctors to make money. Most doctors don't go to medical school for years on end to work for nothing. But that does not mean its a "scam". That attitude suggests to me that your husband is a cheapskate and a tightwad who is more interested in his checking account balance than he is in his wife's health and well being. Just food for thought.

[Sludge]

I had a sleep study test this past Saturday night (23rd, Nov.). I went to get my results on Monday and sure enough, I stop breathing about 14 times an hour (10-53 seconds each time).

IMO, and at this point, your husband could be correct. I would get the actual report to see if you, in fact, "stopped breathing" at all. Unless you had a bunch of central apneas, you probably NEVER stopped breathing (although just about everybody tosses out a few CAs here and there).

This is important if you really want to explain this convincingly to your husband. For instance, you might have had a bunch of hypopneas that resulted in arousals, or even a bunch of RERAs. From your husbands viewpoint, you would never appear to "stop breathing" and it's going to be a tough sell.

OTOH, if you have a bunch of nasty desaturations, then you can just shove it in his face and tell him to go suck an egg.

[Foggy1]

If your husband is one of those people who makes his mind up about something and cannot be swayed by data, you may not be able to get him to admit there is a problem. But this shouldn't stop you from getting treatment. If it were me, I'd just say, "I'm sorry you feel this isn't valid, but for both of our sakes I have to take care of my health and proceed with the treatment."

I find the machines to be very quiet. I've slept in the same room with another CPAP user when on a trip, and I didn't even hear her machine. My own is like "white noise" to me. If your husband complains, calmly suggest he might be more comfortable sleeping elsewhere.

[Sir NoddinOff]

In cases where someone has been disturbed by snoring, the cpap machine is a welcome fix.

I'd have to agree with kaisgram here: How is continual snoring and snorting for breath somehow better than the whisper quiet sound of a ResMed S9 or a Phillips Respironics machine curing your apnea during the night?

[JDS74]

In looking over your sleep study report the doctor gave you, do you see anything referencing central apneas?
Your apnea rate puts you in the mild rate but what type of CPAP treatment you need depends on the distribution of the apneas you had. Stopping breathing for as long as 53 seconds is a long time for an obstructive event that didn't wake you up. Was there some discussion of the number of arousals you experienced or do you remember waking up during the study?

Best of luck when you get your machine. Please do try and make sure that your machine is fully data capable so you can look at your own data.

[BlackSpinner]

Just remember your health and well being is far more important then his little tantrums. Just tell him to "Shape up or ship out" . He swore an oath "In sickness or in health" and that didn't refer to HIS but yours.

[chunkyfrog]

My husband discovered that without my LOUD snoring, he slept MUCH better.