APPOLOGY

[frogman]

cotech's "most active topic" was one he started and title "pressure UUUUGGGGHHH!!!". viewtopic/t48111/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=47 ... 78#p435678.....

Perhaps a misunderstanding of what "bump" meant? It appears the thread rooster identified fizzled out on Jan 1 and was bumped on Jan 5 prior to "Good bye" .

frogman

[BrianR4743]

Bump is what you put (or anything else actually) to get the posting moved back up the ladder so it'll be answered (if it seems to have drifted down without being dealt with).

Thanks Julie.... learning slowly but surely.

[DreamOn]

cotech50,

Maybe I missed something, but I see no reason for your apology. If the problem is that you misinterpreted the word "bump" as insulting, please know that it is used as a courtesy when someone sees the need to bring the topic to the attention of the forum as a whole, so you're more likely to get assistance. Certainly, no disrespect was intended towards you.

Regarding your recent post here viewtopic/t48072/ignored.html, as username "hose"....
I know what you mean about "cliques". I almost stopped coming here after a short time myself because I did not feel like I was a part of "the group". (I'm a sensitive kind of person, what can I say.) I decided to be a big girl and just jump in and make myself at home. So I did. If people don't happen to like me or my style of communicating, then that's their problem.

I'm rather new to message boards myself, and it took me a while to get used to the fact that my posts would usually receive no direct response. Don't get me wrong, people have always been extremely generous here about answering any questions I've had, but sometimes I do feel like I'm posting off into space when just making comments. I often question whether I have anything valuable to contribute. But that's just the nature of the internet. I figure that maybe someone, someday will find something I wrote to be helpful. I'm not going to get pats on the back regularly. I'm here because I want to learn all I can about sleep apnea and then help others.

We do sometimes get off the subject at hand around here. That is usually just friendly banter amongst people who are comfortable with each other, and it is not meant to make you (or anyone else) feel left out. It is regrettable when people don't get their concerns addressed because of that, but we do need to have a little "fun" too. It isn't meant to make light of anyone's problems or ignore their questions.

So, I hope you'll give us another chance if you're leaving because of any of those reasons. We all need support in this CPAP journey, and you're certainly welcome here.

Best wishes,

DreamOn

[dsm]

cotech50,

Maybe I missed something, but I see no reason for your apology. If the problem is that you misinterpreted the word "bump" as insulting, please know that it is used as a courtesy when someone sees the need to bring the topic to the attention of the forum as a whole, so you're more likely to get assistance. Certainly, no disrespect was intended towards you.

Regarding your recent post here viewtopic/t48072/ignored.html, as username "hose"....
I know what you mean about "cliques". I almost stopped coming here after a short time myself because I did not feel like I was a part of "the group". (I'm a sensitive kind of person, what can I say.) I decided to be a big girl and just jump in and make myself at home. So I did. If people don't happen to like me or my style of communicating, then that's their problem.

I'm rather new to message boards myself, and it took me a while to get used to the fact that my posts would usually receive no direct response. Don't get me wrong, people have always been extremely generous here about answering any questions I've had, but sometimes I do feel like I'm posting off into space when just making comments. I often question whether I have anything valuable to contribute. But that's just the nature of the internet. I figure that maybe someone, someday will find something I wrote to be helpful. I'm not going to get pats on the back regularly. I'm here because I want to learn all I can about sleep apnea and then help others.

We do sometimes get off the subject at hand around here. That is usually just friendly banter amongst people who are comfortable with each other, and it is not meant to make you (or anyone else) feel left out. It is regrettable when people don't get their concerns addressed because of that, but we do need to have a little "fun" too. It isn't meant to make light of anyone's problems or ignore their questions.

So, I hope you'll give us another chance if you're leaving because of any of those reasons. We all need support in this CPAP journey, and you're certainly welcome here.

Best wishes,

DreamOn

DreamOn,

Enjoyed your post

Even us old timers here can feel there are 'cliques'
Sometimes, even forums like this can be so like the school playground of our early youth

Good for you in sticking it out & hanging in here

DSM

[secret agent girl]

.

[rested gal]

DreamOn, any time I see a post by you, it's always one I go to read with pleasure -- you keep giving such wonderful help to so many.

I know you're not looking for a pat on the back, but I'm giving you one anyway 'cause you deserve it many times over.

As do all the others who come here, as you put it so well....

to learn all I can about sleep apnea and then help others.

[-SWS]

Cotech, I think everyone's trying to figure out why you feel a need to leave. I hope you don't feel ignored with the comment you placed in a recent thread containing both banter and technical chit-chat:

I just ran a report and looked at my worst night ahi 4.1 but was seeing a trend where the CA numbere were going up from the summary. In looking at the graphs they clearly show the CA issues and some transitioning to higher pressure is occuring at the end of my sleep period. I sometime lie in bed for a s much as 45min b4 I get up and not sure if I am starting to drowse off again or what but this helped explain my higher numbers.

viewtopic.php?p=436476#p436476

I have seen some serious threads posted that got lost in much self serving banter and some serious posts by individuals go largely ignored. Is there a click that exists or some sort of initiation you have to go through. I do not see equal treatment here!!!

viewtopic/t48072/ignored.html#p436910

Please accept my humble apology. Goodbye

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=48111&st=0&sk=t&sd=a#p437399

I didn't recognize your January 3rd comment as a question. At the time it seemed more like a comment---and I didn't quite know exactly how that comment of yours fit in with the discussion at hand to be honest. I suspect others didn't quite catch on to your intended context either. If you decide to stay (and I genuinely hope you do) please bear in mind that we don't always catch the intended purpose of comments coming from people we have not yet conversed with. My hunch is that you believed we perfectly understood the intent of your above comment when, in fact, I did not.

As to the self-serving banter. It happens. And for that I apologize if you felt as if you were on the outside looking in. I and many others have been on the apnea boards---serving others---for the better part of a decade. The amount of volunteer time many of us have spent helping others on the apnea boards is actually phenomenal when you think about it. Thank goodness there are many of us. Unfortunately, when newcomers come to the message boards looking for help from seasoned or expert veterans, the knowledgeable veterans sometimes appear to be a very similar source of help as medical professionals, librarians, and a variety of other public resources for which we all maintain high expectations.

But the reality is that we are not quite the same kind of public-resource figures who get paid to help the general public. Rather we are largely patients and a few professionals who come here to offer what we can. Despite not getting paid, occasionally we extract the benefit of social levity or that banter that you witnessed. While I would disagree with your comment about being largely self-serving, I could also have easily perceived that facet of our discussion out-of-context had I been a newcomer looking for help.

I would ask you to please consider forgiving our occasional and ineveitable faux pas. And if you would like to stay, please try to understand that we don't always understand the purpose or meaning of what others say. The good news is that as we all get to know each other better on this message board, we tend to understand each others' context of communication better and better. Again, please accept my apologies if you felt overlooked.

P.S. Please feel free to drop me or other openly-helpful veterans such as Rested Gal a PM if you're ever missing a specific answer or response. I don't read all the posts on this very busy message board.

[Patrick A]

Maybe he left because I took my boots off.

[jnk]

This is the first board I ever posted on.

One thing it took me a while to figure out was that it was better if I started a new thread when I had a specific question instead of interjecting into a conversation going on about technical matters--better for me, and better for the technical discussion, even though the veterans here are amazingly tolerant and hospitable. I made that little "mistake" repeatedly. And everyone politley gave me the time to figure those things out for myself, though I am still learning.

Threads with the spirit of "I have a question; please help me" have a slightly different feel than the "here is a technical observation on sleep medicine products I would like to discuss." Both provide good reading. But given my low experience level, I believe I am more likely to "belong" in the one thread as compared to the other. And that's OK. That's how life works. The veterans are polite by joining in the lighter threads, so I try to be polite by not being too disruptive with my expectations in the deeper threads. That's just the social graces of cyberspace, not exclusivism, as I see it.

I like it that this board has so many different types of discussions (threads) all happening in the same room (the forum as a whole). I am very thankful that discussions that are over my head are taking place where I can read them. The fact that I am not one of the ones with years of experience and technical insights for that particular discussion doesn't, to me, make those discussions cliquish or rude. Same with the goof-off threads. I understand that there will always be jokes I don't get and discussions that are between people who are talking way over my head. I am thankful those discussions are not hidden in the PMs, since there is a lot of knowledge, wit, wisdom, and pure entertainment value in it all. I like it that there is warmth between the longtime posters that can only come with many years of reading one another's posts.

I still occasionally interject into conversations I don't really "belong" in, in some ways. But when it is one of those really high-stakes poker games going on at a table of experienced players, I don't expect them to stop their game and make room at the table so they can play gin rummy with me. If they are in the middle of big hand, I might not ask them to explain the basics of card-playing to me at that moment, or even distract them with a hello. My recognition of what is happening at that table means that I understand that it is not rude of them if they keep playing their hand. The important thing is for me to recognize that there are plenty of people here in this room willing to play cards with me. In fact, at this bar, all I have to do is start my own table by initiating a thread and I know people will pull up a chair if they know the game. What amazes me here is how many times one of the high-stakes players is willing to come over and paly "Old Maid" or "Go Fish" and talk about cards with me. That makes this place priceless. And the drinks cost the same at all the tables.

Stick around. Start a thread. Ask questions. Get answers. Have a good time. It's all good.

jeff

[BleepingBeauty]

This is the first board I ever posted on.

<big snip>

Stick around. Start a thread. Ask questions. Get answers. Have a good time. It's all good.

jeff

As usual, Jeff, the bulk of your post (that I snipped for brevity's sake here) is very well stated.

[techno-snoreus]

[rested gal]

Jeff is a treasure!

[Gerryk]

RG I thought you just got on here to read my mad banterings. That can't truly be, beacuse I would have to not be half brain dead or somewhat witty.

[DreamOn]

DreamOn, any time I see a post by you, it's always one I go to read with pleasure -- you keep giving such wonderful help to so many.

I know you're not looking for a pat on the back, but I'm giving you one anyway 'cause you deserve it many times over.

As do all the others who come here, as you put it so well....

to learn all I can about sleep apnea and then help others.

Thank you, rested gal. YOU were one of the people whose kindness made me decide to stick around here. You took the time to contact me personally and so patiently answered my seemingly endless (and sometimes rather nonsensical!) questions that I posted in the beginning, as you do with so many others. And there are others here who go out of their way to help me too. I am very grateful for your presence here -- all of you -- whether you're newbies or oldtimers. Even if I don't post a question, I am learning from the advice given to others.

I think that when many of us come to this board for the first time, either before starting xPAP therapy or shortly thereafter, our brains really aren't firing on all cylinders. That was certainly the case with me. Just trying to decide on the "right" machine was a full-time job for me because for years I couldn't think clearly and couldn't concentrate on a given task for more than a few minutes. And I think there's an emotional adjustment that needs to be made when anyone is facing a chronic illness of any type, including sleep apnea. The years of sleep deprivation can take its toll on our reasoning ability, our level of tolerance and patience, and our memory. We're eager to fix everything right away. We get rainout, masks don't work, we can't sleep, therapy isn't optimal -- it can be very overwhelming. So, many of us don't come here at our best.

Anyway, I hope that those who have been here a long time and now enjoy the benefits of effective therapy can remember how they felt when they first started therapy. With very few exceptions, everyone is great in that regard. We need to remember that not everyone comes here experienced with message boards too. There is new lingo to get used to, internet etiquette to learn, and it can be a little reminiscent of the high school social pecking order at times. Newbies can be a little more sensitive, and our good intentions can get lost in translation. I hope that cotech50 will stick around long enough to receive all the support he may need, and then stay to give back to others who may need his help.

~ DreamOn

[Patrick A]

RG I thought you just got on here to read my mad banterings. That can't truly be, beacuse I would have to not be half brain dead or somewhat witty.

Jeff is a treasure!

I feel like an Unwanted left handed redheaded step child now!!!!!