Tell your 'he-man idiot' that Sleep Apnea KILLS. That's right. Dead as a blxxdy doornail. It is not a joke. It is not a mild condition regardless of what he may think. It is DEADLY. It KILLS. DEAD. FOREVER. He will stop breathing and NOT restart 40 seconds later (40 seconds? Sic.)
And how does it do this? The list is an arm's length long. Read, educate, comtemplate. Sleep apnea is associated with such afflictions as Type II Diabetes, Hypertension, Heart Arrhythmias of ALL sorts, and so on. It plays out like this........ you go to sleep. Your airway blocks up and you stop breathing for a bit. Your blood pressure skyrockets from its already high starting point. You pop a vein or have a piece of plaque break away from your now-clogging up arteries or a blood clot from your now partially functional heart (read up on Atrial Fibrillation). Presto. You lose a leg, become a vegetable, or simply don't wake up in the morning. The tombstone reads "Died peacefully in his sleep". NOT!
If your husband is so stupid as to have been diagnosed with a DEADLY affliction and refuses to accept treatment I would do everything and anything within my power, including showing him some of the plethora of articles and white papers online, etc.
You should ensure that exhalation pressure relief is set to maximum. If I were so afflicted I would want to be using an APAP machine (which I am) and I would want to be measuring my blood oxygen level (SpO2) through the night, every night, to ensure that my SpO2 is not dropping below 90% (that will drive blood pressure waaaaay up)(a Contec CMS50EW is a good choice in a recording, rechargeable, BLUETOOTH pulse oximeter). I would want to be looking at the data coming out of my APAP machine to see exactly how my sleep apnea is playing out each night. AT THE END OF ONE OF THOSE 40 SECOND PAUSES BREATHING MAY NOT RESUME.... make sure that he understands this.
And I would definitely want to be using a top notch APAP like the S9 Autoset along with both a humidifier and climate control hose (I do not use the humidifer nor the climate control hose during the summer..... unless I am plugged up with allergies). And a top notch full face mask... the Quattro full face mask seems to be about the best. Get the largest size that sits well on his face as that will give him the greatest stability and fewest leaks. It has a forehead brace as well so the bridge of his nose will not be sore. It takes fiddling to get adjusted right but once adjusted optimally it allows one to smoosh their face into the pillow as I do without causing leaks.
This is not an affliction to be taken lightly. If your husband is not already suffering from Atrial Fibrillation or worse, apnea is a precursor to same. In any event I would be getting a QUALITY electrocardiogram at my family doctor's office as soon as possible to eliminate that possibility. I say a QUALITY ECG because I had aFib for quite a while before it was diagnosed. Symptoms include being short of breath often, especially after eating; a generally tired feeling even after what you think is a good night of sleep (even with treated apnea); mood change; racing heart/high pulse rate spurts or consistently; etc. You must read and educate. The question of which came first, the chicken or the egg, may arise. Did I have aFib first or did I have apnea first? Doesn't really matter - BOTH are in urgent need of attention if you have them as aFib will lead to enlarged heart and all of the consequences thereof, which include damaged heart valves and all sorts of arrhythmias, PVC's, PAC's, you name it.
I apologize for being an alarmist but I can assure you that I have good personal reason to be. I've been there. Done that. Got all the T shirts. You have no idea what OSA leads to or you would be beating him over the head.
For goodness sake, do NOT bury your heads in the sand on this. It is far more serious a condition than he realizes. And once diagnosed, BTW, if he should (heaven forbid) get into a car accident and it comes to light that he has OSA or OSA+, you are going to be hit with a huge civil lawsuit and may even have criminal charges laid. And just for good measure, if the sleep doc realizes that your husband is non-compliant, in many parts it is necessary for the sleep doc to ensure that his driver's license is terminated or suspended immediately. This is NOT something to be trifled with.... getting the D/L back is a chore. How do I know? I have two friends with OSA who have lost their licenses. It took one six months of struggle to get the D/L back. He fell asleep at the wheel and rear ended someone at a red light at full speed. Never touched the brakes. THAT was their tip off that he had 'passed out'. Fortunately only pride was hurt but his insurance company sure gave him a hard time about paying out, claiming that he KNEW he had OSA and was non-compliant with treatment, therefore HE was at fault and he had breached the terms of the policy by being negligent (grossly). I think that the careless driving charge had something to do with it as well (he beat that charge somehow).
Well, I will get down off of my soapbox now. Feel free to PM me if I can be of assistance. This post of mine is intended not just for yourself but for ALL spouses in the same position as you are in and for all of those that may come across it who suffer from sleep apnea and are non-compliant.
I love my S9 Autoset gear and my Quattro full face mask. The Contect CMS50E and CMS50EW are outstanding pulse oximeters and a vital part of the data you need to handle sleep apnea (I use the term OBSTRUCTIVE sleep apnea and sleep apnea interchangeably although they are not necessarily the same beast). And I would plan on visiting my family doctor on a regular basis to have bloodwork done to ensure that such things are kidney and liver and pancreas performance have not been affected nor has my heart been compromised, etc. I have such things as creatinine level checked monthly to ensure my kidneys are functioning 100% as malfunctioning kidneys lead to a whole other world of hurt, especially if taking any medications. (For instance, I take a medication that is expected to be flushed 80% within two hours by my kidneys. The dose is 500 MICROGRAMS, so you can imagine what a malfunctioning kidney might do in this case).
Please do not sit on this. Your husband, idiot savant that he may be (much like my son) is jeapordizing himself and causing his family grief of the highest order in his non-compliance. I can assure you that with non-compliance matters will NOT get better and I am willing to give odds that matters WILL get WORSE. It is just a matter of time. I did not read of your husband's age, physical condition generally, etc., but I can assure you in no uncertain terms that matters will get worse. The ONLY thing I can tell you is EDUCATE, ADVOCATE and CONTEMPLATE.... give him food for thought. He may refuse to ingest it but if you keep putting it on his plate day after day, perhaps he will leave you and you won't have to watch him killing himself. I know that one of my two OSA friends was finally cajoled into total compliance when his wife went on strike, literally, and threatened to leave him rather that watch him killing himself and stressing out the whole family. The family had reached the point of becoming almost non-functional wondering if he would come home at night or if they would get a call advising them that he was in a horrific car accident. All of that has changed as his family is now focused on ensuring he is compliant.
I assure you that I could probably ramble on at GREAT length but have probably already embarrassed myself sufficiently here. As you can tell, I am somewhat vocal in my feelings about this. And for very good cause I can assure you. If I can save your husband one-tenth of the grief and suffering that my family and myself have gone through (and are going through) I will take any flames directed my way.
Zzzwife wrote:My husband has a CPAP machine but has to use the full mask because of his deviated septum. He has never been able to breathe out of his nose. He needs surgery but I could barely get him to the doctor for his sleep test. The man refuses preventative health care. He was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea and can stop breathing for up to 40 seconds at a time. He has gotten into the habit of going to sleep without wearing his machine. He works extremely long hours so it is a hassle for him to clean his machine regularly and uses that as an excuse not to wear it. He gets annoyed when I prompt him to use it. My nights consist of hearing him gasp for air and hearing his snoring through my ear plugs. I really think I have hearing loss because of it. His symptoms have been so bad lately that sometimes it sounds like he is snoring while he is awake. He says his throat relaxes and he feels like he can fall asleep instantly and this happens when he is driving (scary). I've informed him and his doctor has informed him of the health risks and that weight loss can help. It's like people who smoke know that it can kill them, yet they still do it. He knows sleep apnea is serious, yet the response effort to maintain his CPAP equipment and the fact that it is uncomfortable to wear overpowers the benefits he could have by simply forcing himself to wear it. I don't have to wear it and I am sympathetic of his condition. I've read through forums and everyone says to try different masks but he is limited in what he can wear because he needs the full mask. I haven't done anything more than prompt him to wear it and the results are consistent: frustration for both of us. I need ideas on how I can get him to wear the mask and how we can get him to keep the mask on for more than an hour once he actually wears it. He knows he feels better when he wears it and people at work tell him he has more energy. I'm thinking about having him graph the nights he puts his mask on, so he can have some visual feedback. I could also use some kind of incentive but it's hard to make anything an incentive when you feel so tired and grumpy! I need help!