CPAPtalk.com

In all fairness, every one of us needs to vent out the bull shit of life. Theres no harm in that.

You hate cpap, i dont fault you for that. Im sorry you are struggling. I dont actually hate it because i like the air blowing sometimes. But its a hassle.

But i dont judge you for venting.

The stuff about "it could always be worse" doesnt always help.

Sometimes just having one other person in life understand you makes life liveable.

Madalot wrote:When someone posts about all the negatives of cpap and how much they hate what having to do it has done to them, we tend to get our hackles up because *IF* we commisserate over those complaints, it gives new people ammunition to complain and whine rather than work on being successful.

The "attitude" has helped many people not wallow in self pity and work hard to be successful. When you consider the statistics that 50% (or more) people that are prescribed xpap therapy stop, our methods seem appropriate to helping people NOT dwell on those things.

By endlessly proclaiming how wonderful CPAP is it sets a high expectation for new users, which makes adjustment hard when you wonder why it works for everyone else except you. That was really my point. I found it hard to adjust to CPAP because, based on posts here and other sources, I expected it to be wonderful and to make me feel 20 years younger after day one. The reality was it didn't, it took ages to get it working properly (during which time I had some help from this forum, for which I am very grateful). Now it works ok, but still not as well as I would like. I think this is as good as it will get, and I can live with that as it's better than the alternative.

Setting unrealistic expectations helps no-one and can be counterproductive. That is my point in a nutshell.

ummm... Dynodad - if you'd read enough posts here you would have seen that XPAP is VERY RARELY earthshatteringly wonderful for anyone - at first, later on, or even long after the first night.

WE ALL HATE XPAP - maybe not all that strongly - but it's way better to get used to wearing a mask attached to a machine every night than slowly depriving your body of much-needed oxygen, then trying to function every day in a zombie-like state.

Pass the pizza, please Chunkyfrog.

Cheers,
xena

I know sometimes some of us sound a bit like a cult; but I, for one,
am so relieved to finally be feeling decent after years of suffering--
I can't help myself. Please forgive me for being such a Pollyanna.
My darling husband is closer to your track than to mine,
and I need to find a way to get him back under the hose.
I look utterly wretched in black.

SleepingUgly wrote:I don't think the so-called "tough love" dispensed freely on this board is particularly helpful, except perhaps in very tiny doses, after and along with empathy and validation, and only to someone who needs to take action. It doesn't sound like the OP is swallowing in self-pity, and his disdain for CPAP hasn't stopped him from using it effectively. He seemed to merely be voicing his dislike of having to use it. We ALL have felt that way and NO ONE here would opt to sleep with a mask if they could sleep well without one. To argue otherwise seems ridiculous.

Thanks. I suppose I wanted to know that I wasn't alone, that other people felt the same about CPAP. And it helped me to know that there are.

What didn't help was 'tough love'. Because I'm a grown up. And too many people focussed on the negative aspect of my OP without picking up that I had no intention of stopping using CPAP, nor was I trying to persuade others to do so.

chunkyfrog wrote:My darling husband is closer to your track than to mine,
and I need to find a way to get him back under the hose.
I look utterly wretched in black.

Is he leaning toward giving up on CPAP? If so, why?

DynoDad wrote:Thanks. I suppose I wanted to know that I wasn't alone, that other people felt the same about CPAP. And it helped me to know that there are.

What didn't help was 'tough love'. Because I'm a grown up. And too many people focussed on the negative aspect of my OP without picking up that I had no intention of stopping using CPAP, nor was I trying to persuade others to do so.

You are definitely not alone. No one really wants to use CPAP if they could be healthy and feel great without CPAP. I think if you felt like a million bucks on CPAP, you would see it as a small price to pay. Your last post reads as if there is room for improvement in your CPAP treatment, so if you feel like there's an area that could be better, you should start a thread about it. The same people who whacked you with a 2x4, and others, will try to help you solve your problems and maximize your treatment.

BlackSpinner wrote:And we have the right to put things straight for all the newbies looking for help.

Yep, keep filling them newbies full of hope, and then beat the shot out of them when they admit life isn't perfect - that's the way to help people.

Yes he can stay in denial for as long as he wants

What I am in denial of exactly?

but he wants everybody drowning there with him

Eh? Where did I say that? At no point did I suggest that I, or anyone else, should give up CPAP. Quite the opposite in fact.

Not going to happen.

Phew, I wouldn't want all those deaths on my conscience.

Never mind. This is a total waste of my time and energy.

But I am going to reaffirm my original comment/position:

OP has every right to hate cpap. I get that and tried to support his feelings. I then tried really hard to be nice (at first) to help him get to a better attitude.

I NEVER said or implied that cpap is wonderful or easy and I truly resent that you took what I said and turned it around to make it sound like I did. I really resent it.

Sometimes being nice really bites you in the ass.

BlackSpinner wrote: I will bet when he has a cold the whole family has to be there on bended knee to serve the poor dieing baby.

How childish.

If you're going to insult me, at least have the decency to get the spelling correct.

Yes, I'm a spelling/grammar Nazi. Because standards matter

KSMike wrote:

SleepingUgly wrote:I don't think the so-called "tough love" dispensed freely on this board is particularly helpful, except perhaps in very tiny doses, after and along with empathy and validation, and only to someone who needs to take action. It doesn't sound like the OP is swallowing in self-pity, and his disdain for CPAP hasn't stopped him from using it effectively. He seemed to merely be voicing his dislike of having to use it. We ALL have felt that way and NO ONE here would opt to sleep with a mask if they could sleep well without one. To argue otherwise seems ridiculous.

I was trying to think of the right words to add to this thread, but I can't do any better than this. I'd add that it doesn't come across as the help and support I thought this board was known for.

DynoDad, I hate it too, for most of the same reasons. I view it as a way to help stay alive until something better comes along. And I pray to God something does.

Thank you, my view entirely.

Madalot wrote:

DynoDad wrote:

Madalot wrote:When someone posts about all the negatives of cpap and how much they hate what having to do it has done to them, we tend to get our hackles up because *IF* we commisserate over those complaints, it gives new people ammunition to complain and whine rather than work on being successful.

The "attitude" has helped many people not wallow in self pity and work hard to be successful. When you consider the statistics that 50% (or more) people that are prescribed xpap therapy stop, our methods seem appropriate to helping people NOT dwell on those things.

By endlessly proclaiming how wonderful CPAP is it sets a high expectation for new users, which makes adjustment hard when you wonder why it works for everyone else except you. That was really my point. I found it hard to adjust to CPAP because, based on posts here and other sources, I expected it to be wonderful and to make me feel 20 years younger after day one. The reality was it didn't, it took ages to get it working properly (during which time I had some help from this forum, for which I am very grateful). Now it works ok, but still not as well as I would like. I think this is as good as it will get, and I can live with that as it's better than the alternative.

Setting unrealistic expectations helps no-one and can be counterproductive. That is my point in a nutshell.

I despise it when my comments are misrepresented and misconstrued to support a side of an opinion. It's one of my major pet peeves in life. Something *I* HATE.

Please tell me WHERE I said that cpap is so wonderful or that anyone should feel that way. I dare you. I NEVER said that.

I said (in different words but since you can't understand those, I'll try simpler ones) you have to make the best of the situation (never said it was good). There's a lot of uncomfortable and horrible things in this world. Everybody has to deal with something in their lives that they do not like (hate) and dwelling and complaining about it only makes it that much harder to accept (not love).

You (and others) want people to only post positive messages, in the belief that it will encourage people. I say you're wrong, it had the opposite effect with me.

I don't expect you to agree with me.

ems wrote:

Elle wrote:I wish we had an internet sociologist here.

I just read the original post again and it is actually quite mild as far as vents go. Certainly not worthy of "tough love". It's interesting that it got 6 pages of attention. I hope he comes back. I wouldn't.

Nor would I.

Nah, you'd have to try *much* harder to insult me

BlackSpinner wrote:Adults who are offered a solution to their problems, and the solution works for them, who come and bitch after 6 months, need to get a life and do some volunteer work.

Hmm, I have a life - family, hobbies, etc - and I do quite a lot of volunteer work but I still hate CPAP. Got any other advice I can try?

ems wrote:

BlackSpinner wrote:So that means that the OP has conformed to the definition of troll = someone who tries to stir up dissension and we bit.

Yes, if you believe that he came here to "stir up dissension" - I don't happen to believe that.

And, I'm done here.

For someone who has never met me EMS, you're remarkably perceptive old chap/girl (delete as appropriate). I'm also EMS, maybe that's why