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Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2014 9:23 pm
by SGearhart
"We'll be the last to let you down."

Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2014 10:59 pm
by kaiasgram
"Your One-Stop Furniture Shop"

Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 12:01 am
by idamtnboy
kaiasgram wrote:"Your One-Stop Furniture Shop"
or
"Your last stop for furniture!"

Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 12:13 am
by kaiasgram
idamtnboy wrote:
kaiasgram wrote:"Your One-Stop Furniture Shop"
or
"Your last stop for furniture!"
love it!!!

Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 2:16 am
by idamtnboy
This reminds me of the two brothers, one a veterinarian and the other a taxidermist, who shared a building for their businesses.

Out front was a sign, "Regardless of the outcome, you always get your pet back!"

Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 5:24 pm
by chunkyfrog
ChicagoGranny wrote:I need some help and you guys are creative and have a good sense of humor.

A friend of a friend just found out his ancestors had an undertaker and furniture business in the same store front in the 1800s.

Looking for good one-liners. Maybe a catchy advertising slogan.

Thanks.

Many similar combo-businesses still operate in small towns.
My father's remains were "packaged" in the basement/mortuary of the local furniture store.
I think of The great Gildersleeve's neighbor Digger O'Dell (the friendly undertaker), who always took his leave
with the same expression, "Well, I'll be . . . shoveling off."

Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 3:04 pm
by HoseCrusher
I just ran across this old favorite...

What do you call a frog that is illegally parked?


Toad.

Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Posted: Tue Dec 23, 2014 8:55 am
by ChicagoGranny
Image

Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Posted: Tue Dec 23, 2014 10:23 pm
by Woody
I was at a thrift store today and saw a Resmed S6 " Breast Pump " I bet some young
mother may have a little trouble getting it to work right !

Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Posted: Wed Dec 24, 2014 6:43 am
by ChicagoGranny
Woody wrote:I was at a thrift store today and saw a Resmed S6 " Breast Pump " I bet some young
mother may have a little trouble getting it to work right !
Oh my.

Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2015 6:37 am
by ChicagoGranny
Image

Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2015 3:40 pm
by ChicagoGranny

Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2015 6:35 am
by ChicagoGranny
Image

Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2015 2:39 pm
by ChicagoGranny
Image

Re: OT: Daily Funny bone

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2015 8:13 pm
by mgaggie
You know you're Australian if …

You know the meaning of the word "girt".
You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin.
You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.
You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.
You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.
When you hear that an American "roots for his team" you wonder how often and with whom.
You understand that the phrase "a group of women wearing black thongs" refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.
You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".
You pronounce Penrith as "Pen-riff".
You believe the "l" in the word "Australia" is optional.
You can translate: "Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas."
You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
You call your best friend "a total bastard" but someone you really, truly despise is just "a bit of a bastard".
You think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
You understand that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga" but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy".
You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread.
You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.
You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.
You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.
You still don't get why the "Labor" in "Australian Labor Party" is not spelt with a "u".
You wear ugh boots outside the house.
You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.
You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.
Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.
You understand that "excuse me" can sound rude, while "scuse me" is always polite.
You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
You understand that "you" has a plural and that it's "youse".
You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.
Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call "Anzac cookies".
You still think of Kylie as "that girl off Neighbours".
When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.
You believe the phrase "smart casual" refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.
You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.
When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.
You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.
You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.
You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says "cobber".
And you will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand.