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Dori, First a dose of reality...

No one can take care of Mike as well as you can. You are just stuck with "substandard" care compared to your care.

Mike should have no problems getting back on xPAP as long as you are there to help him get it set up properly the first time.

The only problem that may come up is that Mike is a really nice person. He may not want to tell you about any difficulties he may have in the middle of the night. You may have to work at getting any information like this out of him.

Tell Mike that it is no bother at all sending thoughts and prayers his way.

Hi, Dori. I'm so touched by the story you're sharing with us. You and Mike sound like two very lovely people and you are fortunate to have each other.

Dori, everyone is telling you to make sure you take care of yourself and I just want to emphasize that. When my eldest daughter was 3 weeks old she ended up in ICU for a few days. A week later she was back in the hospital because of a virus she'd picked up at the hospital the first time and she was terribly sick. I had people encouraging me to take time away from her bedside to look after myself but the truth is I found it nearly impossible to do that. Imagine walking away from a sick newborn to do something trivial like eat or take a shower? What if something happened while I was gone? Anyway, what I learned from that is that in the moment, you may very well feel that you are managing well, and later when things settle down you'll get some rest. But you know, it's only after the crisis is over that you are able to even look at it and feel it and maybe break down and cry. And that is also the time when you will notice the lack of self-care that you gave yourself while you waited. Sometime when you're sitting with him, think about how your shoulders, upper back and neck are feeling. They'll probably be really tense, and know that whatever it is you're holding there is going to reveal itself eventually and it might be a greater burden than you were expecting later on. So, even if it's just a little bit at a time, do the things you know you need to do for yourself.

That's my 2 cents.

I wish you and Mike the very best.

I'm so glad things are better, Dori!
About the CPAP: I would not be concerned about the week's break from the mask -- but I would wonder about the pressure. If Mike had it easy when he started, I would start him at the usual pressure. But if higher pressure was a problem at the beginning, I would consider starting somewhat lower.

Another thing to consider is this: https://www.cpap.com/productpage/O2-Enr ... apter.html, a coupler that can let them bleed oxygen into the cpap, and this : https://www.cpap.com/productpage/respir ... chine.html which may be necessary when oxygen is used.

Wishing both of you many healthy days ahead!
O.

just have faith in Him..he'll recover soon
im keeping my fingers crossed

DoriC wrote: I guess you can tell I'm feeling a little relieved this evening, the Drs and nurses are amazed at Mike's fighting spirit, he does whatever he's told to do without complaint and is so pleasant even when he's not feeling well. He's a very special man and I hope I've conveyed some of that to all of you. When I told him that I asked for your prayers for him, he said I shouldn't have done that, you've all got your own problems to deal with but he wanted me to thank you for helping me take care of his sleep apnea.

You and Mike are two very, very special people. I am so glad he's doing better. I will continue to keep him in my thoughts and prayers. You will be there as well, but you always are!

Thanks for sharing this about Mike. A tear or two ran down my cheek reading it.

What a week the two of you have had! I wish I could say more and do more. But though all I can do is to pray for the two of you, I do that gladly. May God grant the two of you healing and peace.

HoseCrusher wrote:Dori, First a dose of reality...

No one can take care of Mike as well as you can. You are just stuck with "substandard" care compared to your care.

I'm tired but I had to respond to your comment. Right now I'm seething after a 12hr day going through hell to get him transferred to the rehab and then watching what goes on with a new admission, nothing until I had to get a little nasty to get things rolling. I had allowed the nurses at the hospital to do his wound care just once last night and when I was showing the nurses at the rehab how to do it tonight, I was livid when I saw his "tush" had a big rash from how the hospital nurse bandaged it with layers of regular adhesive tape(not the paper tape I told her to use as he was allergic to the other stuff). Lots more went wrong but it went downhill from there so I left him at 10:30 tonight with a heavy heart and doubt that he'll get much nursing care. I would take him out of there but he needs the rehab and this is the best place for that. So I'm hoping today was just the initial first day of chaos and will settle down tomorrow once I get to know the ropes.

Take heart Dori. I believe they can be educated, and once they get the hang of things, everything will improve.

Have a restful sleep.

One idea is to write down all the little things Mike needs, and approach the doctor to see if they could be included in the orders. That doesn't mean that they will be read and followed, but it may improve that possibility.

Another idea is to bring a box of disinfecting wipes and wipe down everything in Mikes room. With a wound that isn't quite healed, it pays to keep everything clean.

DoriC wrote:I'm tired but I had to respond to your comment. Right now I'm seething after a 12hr day going through hell to get him transferred to the rehab and then watching what goes on with a new admission, nothing until I had to get a little nasty to get things rolling. I had allowed the nurses at the hospital to do his wound care just once last night and when I was showing the nurses at the rehab how to do it tonight, I was livid when I saw his "tush" had a big rash from how the hospital nurse bandaged it with layers of regular adhesive tape(not the paper tape I told her to use as he was allergic to the other stuff). Lots more went wrong but it went downhill from there so I left him at 10:30 tonight with a heavy heart and doubt that he'll get much nursing care. I would take him out of there but he needs the rehab and this is the best place for that. So I'm hoping today was just the initial first day of chaos and will settle down tomorrow once I get to know the ropes.

Awww Dori -- I am so sorry the transfer didn't go more smoothly. Here's extra thoughts and prayers that things settle down quickly and that you can rest easy with Mike being well taken care of.

{{{{{{{{{{Dori}}}}}}}}}}}

...once I get to know the ropes

Oh Dori...you know the ropes! Now you just need to teach them to the staff!

I spent many hours in nursing homes before my parents passed away. I wrote the colostomy care procedure for my fathers nursing home and even helped teach it. I am not a nurse or medical professional in any way, just a daughter who wanted the best care possible for my parents. I also found that it was a good idea to carry a camera with me at all times. Once they see you take a picture of a poorly packed wound, or an unsafe condition, they listen a bit better. Don't be afraid to go to the director of the facility. I had to do this several times to have problems fixed. I believe they really do want to give the best care, but sometimes the staff needs refreshing. Both of my parents ended up with wonderful, capable staff caring for them.

Brenda

Oh Dori....things didn't go well did they. You must be exhausted and frustrated, but I'm sure things will settle down once they know you are a very involved and loving caregiver to Mike. I like Brendas camera idea alot, they will take notice of that I'm sure. Did you not say on a previous thread that one of your boys was a doctor? Perhaps he could spend a day with you at the facility and be a second set of eyes for you with the staff. I'm sure they would take more notice when they see that you are very well supported by one of their own. We are all still praying for you both and sending you a ton of hugs to help keep you going.
Love ya
Nan

Dori......my heart goes out to you and Mike. The love you feel for your husband comes across so strongly in your posts. I pray that Mike has a short stay in the rehab center and that you're both home, in your own bed, quickly. I know it must be hard for you to be apart from him overnight, trusting others to watch over him, but you need rest too. Please don't neglect yourself.

Such great ideas! I love having a plan of action! Antibacterial wipes! Camera! I already met the Director last night and he told me to make a "list" and he would address my concerns, so far I have 8 things listed, all reasonable complaints/requests. My son can't get down here until Sunday, he lives 3hrs away with a busy practice and hectic life with a young baby, so I have been actively discouraging him from coming. My daughter lives out west in CO but I get a lot of TLC from her on the phone daily and if I really needed her, she'd come. Her daughter, my 21yo granddaughter, will be coming from NY tomorrow if she can get time off work. She will be the best medicine! I'm on my way to the rehab now to do battle again, thanks for inspiring me to "do my thing"!

Prayers for both of you. You both are in my thoughts and my heart.

katcw

WHOOT! WHOOT! Dori you are my hero, you are soooo on the right track today. We are all rooting for you and know you will make sure they do the right thing for Mike. Good to hear your family is ready to dig in and help out.....just let them. Mike needs to know that you have help and will not allow yourself to get too tired and bogged down, he doesn't need you to end up in the hospital. I'm sure most of his worrying is about the struggle he's putting you through, he can tell when you are stressed out, let the kids help.
Love ya
Nan