CPAPtalk.com

Wulfman wrote: On a number of occasions, I've likened this forum to a continuous backyard barbecue/party (at Johnny's house). Some people bring food or beverages to serve......some cook, some tend bar, some clean up, some empty the garbage cans and some try to keep the drunks from beating each other up (or just get out of the way and let them go at it). Some try to keep the party going and be gracious hosts and some are just freeloaders......they didn't bring anything but questions and then when they get them answered, they don't "pay it forward" and just go on their merry way. They don't care if they contribute.....just as long as they got their questions answered, that's all they care about.......let somebody else pay for the beer and food they consumed.

If all of the "old timers" would have left when they got their questions answered, there wouldn't be enough people still here with any knowledge to pass on to the new users with questions.

About the kindest way I can characterize your post is that it was pretty thoughtless and inconsiderate. I looked back through your early posts......and there were a number of the "old timers" who tried to help answer some of your questions, too.

You've been there for all of us Wulfman.........thank you! I love your analogies--richly stated, and your ability to call a spade, a spade.........

This is the only place I'll thank you for be called one of the "old timers", even though I'm thousands of posts behind you, and in no way am I trying to catch up......

For complaining about "no responses", bprater's done okay by herself this evening. I doubt this is what she wanted to hear though.........

jmelby wrote:Why do you say "No responses" when you have had a couple of thoughtful responses and you haven't taken the time to respond to the questions posed to help you better?

I agree wholeheartedly.

bprater, you have a valid question. Hopefully after a few responses here you will have a better understanding of the dynamics of the forum. You've already gotten some really good comments.

As a new forum member please remember that responding and posting takes time and effort, for both you and the responders. You garner a lot of good will when you take the time to acknowledge a response. What's a reasonable time span? I would say no longer than one day at the outset of a thread. It's only reasonable to expect that if someone has a question they will be monitoring for responses as soon as they can. A simple thank you lets the responders know you have read the posts. And please be sure to answer questions. This also helps to keep the thread near the beginning of the list of topics. In case you haven't noticed messages scroll quite fast here. I dare say if the topic gets pushed off the first page it's in danger of being ignored, and if it gets pushed beyond the second page you can pretty much kiss it goodbye.

Another recommendation. Give serious thought to how you word the subject line. A subject line that clearly states the issue at hand will garner a lot more responses than one that leaves the forum members saying, "Huh?" In fact on this thread it would be helpful if you would have repeated the subject of the original post with wording on the order of, "Why no responses to ......?" And a link to the original post would be nice also. I for one really have no hankering to start looking for the post you are referring to, but if you would have included a link in your first post here I probably would at least look at it.

Use friendly wording. Posts that come across as angry or combative will be ignored. When I say angry I'm referring to how you write, not what you are feeling. Many posters are angry about their diagnosis, or frustrations with their machine. Those will be answered. But if you are expressing anger at the forum members, or your doctor, or even just at the world in general, you will be ignored. For the record, I do not consider your first post in this thread as angry or combative.

I have no idea how the post you are referring to was written, as I don't think I've read it, so I'm not attacking what you posted. I'm just giving you my opinion on what works, and what doesn't.

And once in while you just plain strike out. I did recently with the thread I started about multiple logins. No responses at all. I just figure it's a subject people are not interested in and that's the way it is.

EDIT: I just read some of the other responses and want to second the comments about using the Search function. You gain a hellavu lot points if you explain that you have used the search and can't find a suitable answer, or found some answers but still have questions. Demonstrating initiative in looking for answers for yourself, and explaining what you've done, gets you a long way here, and in any forum. And please, as others have said, know your equipment exactly. If you're not sure of the name, say so. There's no harm in not knowing. But there is harm in not being accurate.

Wulfman... wrote:On a number of occasions, I've likened this forum to a continuous backyard barbecue/party (at Johnny's house). Some people bring food or beverages to serve......some cook, some tend bar, some clean up, some empty the garbage cans and some try to keep the drunks from beating each other up (or just get out of the way and let them go at it). Some try to keep the party going and be gracious hosts and some are just freeloaders......they didn't bring anything but questions and then when they get them answered, they don't "pay it forward" and just go on their merry way. They don't care if they contribute.....just as long as they got their questions answered, that's all they care about.......let somebody else pay for the beer and food they consumed.

If all of the "old timers" would have left when they got their questions answered, there wouldn't be enough people still here with any knowledge to pass on to the new users with questions.

About the kindest way I can characterize your post is that it was pretty thoughtless and inconsiderate. I looked back through your early posts......and there were a number of the "old timers" who tried to help answer some of your questions, too.

Some people want "just the facts" and some need the "chit chat" to feel better about this therapy. Some people have to be asked repeatedly to join the forum and some have to be asked repeatedly to fill in their equipment profile so we can try to "fill in the blanks" when they say they're having problems with their therapy. Sometimes dragging information out of people is a challenge. This forum is about educating the users......making them more knowledgeable about this therapy, more comfortable with it and them taking control of it. Unfortunately, we haven't succeeded in every case......but we keep trying.

So......what's everyone bringing to the "party"......and after you've partaken in the food and refreshments, are you willing to pitch in and help those who are going to be showing up soon?

What a great analogy, Wulfman! Thank you for taking the time to write that.

idamtnboy wrote:As a new forum member please remember that responding and posting takes time and effort, for both you and the responders. You garner a lot of good will when you take the time to acknowledge a response. What's a reasonable time span? I would say no longer than one day at the outset of a thread. It's only reasonable to expect that if someone has a question they will be monitoring for responses as soon as they can. A simple thank you lets the responders know you have read the posts.

I think this is a very valid point, idamtnboy. It does make a difference to the people that take the time, knowing that the effort they made to respond was received and appreciated.

It's hard sometimes for sure. I hate when I have to do a group acknowledgement (thanks everyone) but I try to do that at the minimum when a lot of people have taken the time to reply in my threads.

Plus, if I'm not familiar or knowledgeable about a specific situation (like OP's post) I don't reply. When someone asks a question, say about the specific mask I'm using and I have something to offer, I post. There's no point in responding about a question I know nothing about.

I've also sometimes "missed" something (this IS a busy board) and have had PM's from people pointing me to a question that they think I might be able to help with.

Like with any situation, it's a give and take. It's okay to take when you need it, but it sure it appreciated when you give back.

Hmmmm.....

I looked at the question threads you posted. It seems to me that you got responses within an hour on each question you posted. I didn't read the threads in great detail, but it seems that the people who replied gave some reasonably good info and put some effort into it.

This is a free community group with unpaid people helping you. What kind of response do you expect?

Thanks Wulfman, you allowed me to avoid a lengthy response to the OP - I echo every word.

I'd just like to add a comment to the criticism of the 'social chatting' observed here. I don't always contribute a lot, but the way I see it, 'chatting' with others here on a social level (often about XPAP, but not always), it means I don't have to bend the ears of my ever-patient and loving hubby about my challenges. It's better (IMHO) to yap with those who walk the same walk, than bore someone who cares, but doesn't understand 100% what we go through.

I also believe the oldtimers have more than earned the right to form their 'coffee club' and chat about worldly topics to their heart's content. The don't have to be here, but they are on hand a lot to help newbies. I'm sure they still learn the odd bit of new info, but they come here primarily to help frightened, fumbling newbies.

When I first started coming here, an 'oldtimer' asked me to add my equipment to my sig., which I did immediately. Every time I've asked a question, it's been answered thoroughly - sometimes only after one response. I don't need (nor do I have time for) pages of the same answers, reworded.

Cheers,
xena (a bit of a newbie... still)

bprater:

If you're still here, maybe it's time to eat a little humble pie and admit that your comments about "no response" were rash and a little inappropriate. As others have already indicated, you did get replies that were meant to be helpful, but you didn't reply with the requested information so people could be even more helpful, nor did you say a simple "thanks".

I myself lurked around the forum for a couple of weeks, reading and researching before I finally joined. It's not a perfect place, but no place is. I have learned a great deal, and am grateful for the excellent information I got. It helped me have a much more informed conversation with my doc when it came to his writing my script. (It was my PCP, and I think I already knew more about sleep apnea than he did when I met with him).

Please don't stay away because your feelings are hurt or people have been blunt in response your comment. If you really choose to participate fully and appropriately, the people here can be of great help, both informationally and emotionally.

Joe

Maybe you could say your reaction was due to your lack of sleep/oxygen. That would probably make more than a few of us smile, as we've been there, too.

Sorry you felt neglected, bprater. I didn't respond because I have never used either mask you asked about.

I tend to read more than I post but I love this board. I have learned some pretty neat tricks from the vets here and it has made my own therapy work so much better. I'm sure I would have given up by now if I hadn't stumbled across this message board.

I usually only read the posts that pertain to something I am familiar with or a post that references a similar situation that I am dealing with. Keep searching for information and if you can't find an answer, ask your question and someone will come along to help.

We're all in this together, trying to make the therapy not only something we can live with, but something that makes us feel better. One thing I have discovered over the years.....you need a thick skin to chat on the internet sometimes. Try not to get offended by anything said or not said when you post on any message board. Just my two cents worth.

Well, it looks like you got those responses you were looking for in this thread.

bprater, I just did a quick review of some of your posts and you had responses within the hour or less to most of them and certainly by the next day. I might add that you were fortunate to be given advice by some of the best and the brighest this forum has to offer, wulfman, RestedGal, robysue,Pugsy, forgive me if I left out some of the others who gave their time and expertise. In fact, in one of your posts you stated that "You guys are the greatest, you make me smile" (not verbatim but close enough). We're here to help you and each other and learn something every day as well as share some fun and comraderie along the way.

carbonman wrote:

xyz wrote:There's a certain clique of regular posters on here.

I KNEW it.

xyz wrote:They use this forum like a coffee klatch.

The Sanctum.

xyz wrote: They joke around a lot, make lots of posts that are barely relevant, and only occasionally post serious replies to newcomers/strangers, just mostly among themselves.

It's only a clever cover. They are tricky devils.

xyz wrote: "oldtimers".

aka The Inner Circle

xyz wrote: Perhaps it's the only social activity that they have all day.

This is just to pass time between the rituals and rites that take place at night.

xyz wrote:That said, there are several very knowledgeable and very helpful posters. But they're in the minority.

....and these are just dupes that are used to cover up the secret society that really lives here.

I have been on to this for years.....well, maybe not years......
viewtopic.php?f=1&t=48131
I, too, have tried to bring this to light and was laughed at.
Be vigilant, my friend, as I will be.
The Truth is out there.

Wulfman... wrote:

xyz wrote:There's a certain clique of regular posters on here. They use this forum like a coffee klatch. They joke around a lot, make lots of posts that are barely relevant, and only occasionally post serious replies to newcomers/strangers, just mostly among themselves.

I'm not talking about all of the forum members, but many (not all) of the "oldtimers". I see that you only have 11 posts. Clearly you're not "one of them".

If you read this forum for a long time, you would notice that many don't stick around. The coffee klatchers continue to gab and joke, diluting the useful content. Perhaps it's the only social activity that they have all day.

That said, there are several very knowledgeable and very helpful posters. But they're in the minority.

On a number of occasions, I've likened this forum to a continuous backyard barbecue/party (at Johnny's house). Some people bring food or beverages to serve......some cook, some tend bar, some clean up, some empty the garbage cans and some try to keep the drunks from beating each other up (or just get out of the way and let them go at it). Some try to keep the party going and be gracious hosts and some are just freeloaders......they didn't bring anything but questions and then when they get them answered, they don't "pay it forward" and just go on their merry way. They don't care if they contribute.....just as long as they got their questions answered, that's all they care about.......let somebody else pay for the beer and food they consumed

If all of the "old timers" would have left when they got their questions answered, there wouldn't be enough people still here with any knowledge to pass on to the new users with questions.

About the kindest way I can characterize your post is that it was pretty thoughtless and inconsiderate. I looked back through your early posts......and there were a number of the "old timers" who tried to help answer some of your questions, too.

Some people want "just the facts" and some need the "chit chat" to feel better about this therapy. Some people have to be asked repeatedly to join the forum and some have to be asked repeatedly to fill in their equipment profile so we can try to "fill in the blanks" when they say they're having problems with their therapy. Sometimes dragging information out of people is a challenge. This forum is about educating the users......making them more knowledgeable about this therapy, more comfortable with it and them taking control of it. Unfortunately, we haven't succeeded in every case......but we keep trying.

So......what's everyone bringing to the "party"......and after you've partaken in the food and refreshments, are you willing to pitch in and help those who are going to be showing up soon?


Den

Wulman you are truly one of the many people on here that makes this place worth coming back to! a backyard barbeque indeed. i never really thought of it that way, superb.
i have stayed away for a good while because i had no serious pap issues.. but missed the chips & beer & also the good feeling one gets to actually pay it forward to another in need. i wish i had more knowledge to help people more but generally am afraid i might unknowingly give out wrong info...so i just stick to cleaning up,taking out the trash & generally not getting in the middle of a fracas that might otherwise fan the flame of ignorance.
i have come back time & again to pop a beer & perhaps gleen some knowledge that might help me as well as pass that wisdom on to others to make their lives more productive.
Thank You Wulfman & all the others that have helped me YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE ! God Bless
tim

bprater wrote:Not very encouraging for a new person!!!!

It must be annoying for newbies to not get they same kind of response they see other people getting.

Perhaps your thread got pushed down the list of topics and into the abyss too quickly for people to notice

Perhaps you make a case for having the forum organized into categories

Uncle_Bob wrote:Perhaps you make a case for having the forum organized into categories

And perhaps not.

Oct 2010 - topic started by DHC
Forum-Specific Suggestions ?
viewtopic.php?p=524967#p524967

Mar 2010 - topic started by pokerjah
Forum Suggestion - Topic Sections
viewtopic.php?p=456847#p456847

Dec 2009 - topic started by GerryK
suggestions to Johnny for the board
viewtopic.php?p=429353#p429353

Aug 2009 - topic started by SleepNazzi
OT - Forum Suggestion
viewtopic.php?p=394780#p394780

Any value in Creating New Forum Subjects?
Feb 2009 - topic started by Mtnviewer
viewtopic/t39122/viewtopic.php?p=342140#p342140

Board suggestions
Feb 2009 - topic started by 40 Winks
viewtopic.php?p=340618#p340618

Please Rethink The Big Pot Design
Sept 2008 - topic started by OldLincoln
viewtopic.php?p=296770#p296770

Do you think adding some forums to separate content would make this site more user friendly?
May 2007 - topic started by SleepFitness
viewtopic.php?p=169484#p169484

Any chance of sub-forums being added?
May 2006 - topic started by tom2112
viewtopic.php?p=80429#p80429

Topic started by forumadmin -- Should cpaptalk Be Divided Into Categories or Subsections?
Aug 2005
viewtopic/t4149/viewtopic.php?p=33395#p33395